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A top concern for most kids pastors is reaching the children in their communities who do not attend church. These unchurched kids simply don’t know much about the Bible. Often they have a mixed up version of Jesus gathered from TV shows. Before they can give their lives to Him, they need a basic introduction to the Good News.
On the other end of the spectrum are kids who are overexposed to church. These are the children who attend every service, and can’t remember anytime when they didn’t come to church. In my ministry, most of these kids also attend a Christian school. They can recite the books of the Bible, they’ve memorized countess Scripture verses, and they know details about Bible stories that I can’t even remember.
By over-churched kids, I mean children with too much religion and not enough actual interaction with Jesus. Attending church is important and should promote spiritual growth, but sometimes there are side effects. In this post, I will describe the spiritual dangers these kids face. You can also read our follow up post that offers 9 strategies for reaching these kids.
If you’re new to our website, be sure to check out our sunday school lessons for children and VBS resources. You might also enjoy our free lessons for children’s church and the our free children’s sermons. Here is the link for What I said about Over Churched Children.
This is not an easy topic and I expect some push back from readers. But this is an issue we need to address now, before we raise the next crop of Pharisees.
1. Familiar Stories Lose Their Power: When kids hear the same Bible stories year-after-year they can become a little boring. Even worse – these stories are often told without imagination or any listener interaction. Most over-churched kids have heard the same 100+ Bible stories since they were in the Toddler Sunday School. They no longer connect with the characters or feel moved by the plot resolution. Once I was told by a seminary professor, “ It is a sin to make the Bible boring.” I’m starting to think he was right.
2. Knowledge Can Promote Pride: Something happens inside of us when we become the expert. Children feel that same sense of superiority when they have more religious knowledge than their peers. Too often over-churched kids build their identity around that achievement, even when it doesn’t involve a growing relationship with Christ.
3. They Have Learned to Pretend Pray: A real struggle for grown-ups is connecting with God through prayer. Too often it becomes routine and dry. Most younger children learn prayer as an act of imitation. Many don’t even realize that something cosmic is happening when we address our words to God. They don’t feel the presence of God or even expect that they should.
4. They Don’t Feel Their Lostness: Many over-churched kids don’t know what life is like without the comforts of faith. Their brain say ‘forgiveness’ before their heart feels ‘I’m sorry.’ Because they know about grace, they have never really struggled much with guilt.
5. The Ugly Side of Church: Kids who hang around Christians know the yucky side of the church. They hear the complaining. They know Jesus didn’t fix daddy’s temper yet. They know that church is not always the safest place in their lives. Beyond all this they notice when adults are being fake or doing religious role play.
What Do You Think?
What has been your experience with over-churched kids? Do you recognize some of these dangers in your ministry. Leave a comment below to share your ideas.
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I don’t know that I would say that kids (or, as Pastor Jared says, even adults and pastors) are ‘over-churched,’ but that they are ‘under-evangelized.’
Much of our interaction with children presumes their salvation and aims at their transformation (usually merely moral conformity). This presumption infects our homes, our worship, kids’ Bible study and even children’s curriculum.
Well-said, Rob. We can’t assume salvation, even among “church kids.” And even if we could, we STILL need to tell and to hear the Gospel. As Paul instructed Timothy (2 Tim 4:2): Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.
“Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain” (1 Cor 15:1-2)
Children and adults, alike, need the Gospel. The Gospel isn’t a one-time “pill” that makes us better. It is our food, “that Christ died for our sins, in accordance with the scriptures” (1 Cor 15:3). It is of first importance. We don’t outgrow needing the Gospel. How can we so easily find anything else to teach, when “even the angels long to look into these things” (1 Peter 1:12)
Some great feedback here. I just hope the second post can give some help. It’s not an easy issue to address, but it’s been nagging me for a few years.
Tony,
Great article, and definitely a topic that needs to be addressed. Like Jared, I’m also looking forward to the practical part of how you do this. A lot of my comments relate to that aspect, and I will reserve them until you publish that. I think Jared hit on something really important though which is story. The Bible is a story of God’s relationship with mankind. The individual stories kids become familiar with are all part of a much bigger story that they have to understand.
I think the real danger is in missing that meta-narrative of the whole Bible. For example, a couple of weeks ago we talked about the story of the Good Samaritan. That’s got to be one of the most told stories from the Bible, and one I think the kids can easily grow bored with, especially if the point every time is – you should help people. That’s a valid point, and one that needs to be made, but in context that is not the point Jesus was trying to make. His point was that we should love other people (especially those people we’re not supposed to like). The picture of the Israelite is a picture of us, and frankly I think the priest and temple worker are also pictures of us. We are incapable of helping ourselves. The good samaritan is (can I get the standard church answer here?) – Jesus. He came to save when no else will or can (even ourselves). All that to say, I think many in children’s ministry (including myself at times) are guilty of watering down and/or sugar coating the stories from the Bible to make a point. Instead of giving kids the full counsel of God, we try to make a human point. The point itself may be very valid, but it is not the main idea. I think when we give ourselves the freedom to go deeper, and challenge kids rather than just lecture to them, even the same old story can be fresh and new each time.
Your article reminds me of one of my favorite verses. I love to read the Bible, learn from the Bible, and talk about the Bible, but I am constantly reminding myself the words of Jesus from John 5:39-40:
You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.
There is no such thing as “too much Bible,” but it is important to remember that Bible knowledge for knowledge’s sake alone is worthless. It is only Bible knowledge which leads to a deeper and more fruitful relationship with Jesus which is priceless.
I’ve rambled on long enough. I’m looking forward to your next installment.
“I think the real danger is in missing that meta-narrative of the whole Bible.”
That’s HUGE. In fact, many times adults have to unlearn the cliche’ Sunday school children’s versions of stories because they never saw how those stories fit into the overarching story of God glorified in the redemption of His people. So, they learn that God will help them kill the Goliaths in their lives, but little else about the contrast between two potential kings and the characteristics of one worthy to lead God’s people for His glory.
Sometimes the over-churched kids become over-churched adults who won’t even let you know when they’ve checked out, they just close their eyes during the sermon because they know the Samaritan was good.
My wife and I are third generation Church workers so our six children are fourth generation. We have had three big problems in thirty years so three are still regular goers and one is very involved. One comes on special occasions. They are very hurt by the way our family has been treated in the situations even though we have had in depth conversations about how God would want us to handle things. We have taught our child God’s will and they will not depart from it. We have turned it over to Him but talk with Him every day about it.
I would love to hear more about how to properly church our kids to prevent them from being over churched. How do we keep the stories interesting, how do we lead them to understanding the power of prayer, how do we keep them from becoming pride full while still learning about Christianity? What should the Church be doing to prevent over churched kids?
By sharing your own stories. By having other adults who love the Lord and walk with Him involved in the lives of your kids. It is called Discipleship – walking through life with kids. The Bible never becomes boring when kids see that the stories of the Bible are happening today in the lives of adults around them. What type of Children’s Ministry does your church have? Here is a link to some different types of Children’s Ministries – which is yours?
http://whymissionaries.wordpress.com/2010/05/21/discipling-children-what-type-of-childrens-ministry-does-your-church-have/
A good book on this topic is “Essential Church?” by Thom and Sam Rainer
I would say that what you describe as “over-churching”, I would describe as “gospel inoculation”. Part and parcel of the problem is the fact that we Evangelicals have embraced what is functionally a sacramental system of salvation. Utter a specific phrase of words, and BAM, you’re going to heaven, even if there is never any fruit in your life. Then we have hordes of unregenerate church members, living like the devil during the week and hypocritically washing the outside of their vessels on Sunday, then we get the toxic situation to which you’re referring, Tony. The problem is not how long our children spend in church. The problem is what sort of church they’re spending their time in. If the church is one that takes its shepherding task seriously, and confronts hypocrisy within itself head-on, and does not permit its members to live like the devil during the rest of the week, in other words, if it actually conducts itself true to the gospel of Jesus Christ, then the toxicity of the church to its youngest in the congregation will be greatly reduced. Children intuitively detect hypocrisy around them. Preach the word. Administer the ordinances. Love your congregation through church discipline. Do all these things faithfully, and be a true church. Fail, and be a toxic environment for people of any age.
Hey man, it’s been a long time! Glad you stopped by and appreciate your insight as always.
I would add … The problem often is with the parents. Are the parents what a prior poster referred to as “over-churched adults”? Do Dad and Mom (in that order!) each have a vibrant, personal, real relationship with Jesus? Are the modeling what living Christian-ly looks like? Do the parents encourage their children to talk about the understanding of Jesus, who He is, what He is doing right now? Do the parents talk in-depth (age appropriate, of course) about the sermon? Does Dad lead family devotions? Occasionally, by the grace of God in Christ Jesus, He uses a godly neighbor or the family of the child’s friend to influence a child where the parents are remiss, but scripturally it is in the home environment where children are to see their example and receive their training.
I think the saddest part about all of this is that these kids grow up to be over-churched adults. These five things describe not only kids I know, but adults I know…and pastors I know.
I’m looking forward to the followup on this article. How do we actively engage these kids to understand the intersection of their story with the story of the Redeemer?
Some of those descriptions are just my bad side on bad days. I’m always the best example of depravity I know.
“… before we raise the next crop of Pharisees”
Nice point. I had a young girl say that she was “born a Christian”. She has been taught about God from an early age. So I guess my toughest challenge is that they, and their parents, realize that when one believes and begins to truly follow Jesus, that there is a change. Children should begin to seek the things of God and grow in Him.
All to often we place an age on when children can be baptized, and then parents focus on that age instead of the child having a relationship with Jesus and seeing a change in their lives.
I remember when I was younger and began working on a construction site run by a Christian company (a church was building a new facility). They had someone there who was my age “check me out” to see where I stood spiritually and one question I was asked was if I really believed, or just knew the right answers.
Maybe we should be asking that more often of our children.
One thing I do is to try to get the children (and youth) to think, so why they do the things they do comes from their own personal conviction, and not from what someone told them. Sometimes people think I am being “difficult” when I do things like that, but my intent is to have them think about and understand why they should do the things, and make decisions, as God would have them do. So when times of trial come, they will be stronger in why they believe what they do.
I agree there is a danger here – especially when teenagers are encouraged to “pretend” they have a relationship with God to keep up family appearances. We need to provide as much of a Godly environment as we can, while at the same time, encouraging our youth to be honest about the depth of the relationship they have – or don’t have – with the Lord… See more. One of the things that gets me mad is adults expecting unsaved kids to act like saints, just because they come from church-going homes.Talk about teaching conforming to religion rather than seeking relationship with God. Grrr!
I have worked in the under-churched inner city environments, and the over-churched suburban environments. Both are equally disturbing in their own ways. I 100% concur, and I think this is where the role of service for the purpose of just serving helps to offset this over-churched effect.
My kids are in church all the time…so I fight constantly to remind them that most of doing what the Bible says happens in our schools, on the soccer fields, and at our house. I’ve also actively given them expressions to demonstrate in action the things they learn at church.
Great thoughts…albeit disturbing.
I rambled on so long in my own comment that I forgot to mention something that your comment made me think of. As a parent who also teaches on Sunday, my kids get double/triple/quadruple exposure to things as I use them as my guinea pigs. :) I also like to listen to sermon podcasts in the car, so they are constantly hearing stories and sermons. One of the things I encourage them to do is to use that knowledge. I have them help me on Sundays with the younger kids at church, or I have them tell their three year old brother Bible stories. I find that a Bible story takes on a whole new meaning for me once I teach it. No matter how many times I have heard it, when I go to prepare to teach it I’m always finding new and interesting nuances that I never noticed before. Even when I never include those in the teaching itself, it helps to keep the story fresh for me. If I can encourage my kids to do the same by helping out in class or teaching their younger brother, I think that also combats the tendency towards overexposure. Your comment about service made me think about it.
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