Ministry-To-Children.com » Charlie Wallace

The Gospel for Children: The Importance of Jesus in Every Kids Church Lesson

Charlie Wallace — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:23:41 +0000

I took part in a roundtable discussion yesterday with pastors and staff from churches around the area. The topic and reason for the conference was the subject of evangelism. It was a great time of church leaders sharing different ways that they try to reach people for Jesus. I was the lone children’s pastor in attendance so I gave my thoughts on my strategies for reaching children and their families. When it came to evangelism methods and techniques that were being shared I really couldn’t add anything novel or innovative to the discussion that hadn’ t been heard before. Therefore, I simply worked my ministry vision into the the discussion. I explained that the main principle of my strategy is to simply clearly explain and share the Gospel.

As children’s ministry leaders and parents, you are very aware of the myriad of options that are available when it comes to curriculum, programming, events, etc. But there is one area that I feel strongly about and try to constantly remind my teachers and volunteers and that is the intentionality of keeping the Gospel central in whatever we do. What do I mean by that? I mean that to simply never forget to teach the Gospel: the good news that God sent His son Jesus to the earth to rescue sinners from eternal death by dying on the cross for their sins, and later raising from the dead after three days and ascending into Heaven to rule at the right hand of God. And that all who repent of their sins and follow Him will receive eternal life.

No matter what curriculum you are using it is very easy to lose the forest for the trees when teaching children. For instance, when teaching about David and Goliath do you ever teach the lesson redemptively? Do you ever explain that David was one of Jesus’ ancestors? And do you then take the segway into telling how Jesus is our Savior? Do you ever explain to them that just as David trusted God to protect him from lions and Goliath, so we can trust Jesus to save us from eternal death?

You may ask, “What does a random Old Tesament story have to do with Jesus?” My answer: Everything. There is indeed a scarlet thread that runs throughout all of Scripture. That scarlet thread represents the blood that Jesus shed on the cross as he redeemed his people. No matter what story children are being taught, the good news of Jesus should always be presented because, quite simply, that good news should be the penultimate reason that a child is at church in the first place.

Kids Ministry Game: Captain Midnight

Charlie Wallace — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:14:52 +0000

Here is another “backpocket” game that you can play if you have a large group of kids and a large area where they can run. This can be a game that you can play to fill up time at an Easter Egg Hunt, Backyard Bible Club, or whatever the situation. Like Quiet Ball and Silent Football, the point of a “backpocket” game is that it is a game that you can figuratively pull out of your backpocket when you’re in a tight spot, need to fill time, or just need to get the kids doing something organized. Plus, it needs to be a game that the kids will like and Captain Midnight is always a favorite.

Here’s how to play:

- Have all the kids make a line at one end of the field/gym/open area. They all should be facing you while you are at the other end.

- Turn your back to them and have one child ask, “Captain Midnight, what time is it?”

- Tell them a time. For instance, if you say, “3 o’Clock,” then all children take three steps. If you say “10 o’clock” they take 10 steps.

- As the kids take their steps, have the same child ask again. Then give them an answer. Continue this process.

- At some point, depending on the size of your playing area, you will need to end things so you will scream “MIDNIGHT!!!” after they ask you what time it is.

- It is at this point that chaos ensues. After screaming “midnight” or better yet, while you scream it, turn around and chase after the kids as they scurry back to the starting line. They will go absolutely bonkers.

- Make sure you call “midnight” before a child gets to you. Their goal is to be the first to tag you. Therefore, expect some children to take large steps and even cheat a little. Therefore, it is perfectly acceptable to turn your head a few times and check the progress.

- As you run, tag as many kids as you can. Those kids are then out. Keep playing until there is one child left. That child then gets to take over your job as the caller if you so choose to relinquish that duty.

- A good tip is to tag both young and old kids equally. In other words, don’t always tag the slowest or youngest first. You should be faster than the majority of your kids therefore you should be able to tag who you want. This creates more fun and an unexpectedness of who will be tagged as they run back to the line.

- For an Easter Egg Hunt, you can replace “Captain Midnight” with “Mr. Easter Bunny” or any event that you are having.

Cautions: This game is super fun because the children never know when it is going to be “midnight” and when they hear the word “midnight” and you turn around and run after them like a crazy person the anticipation that has been building reaches a boiling point and they scream and go bonkers as you chase them. However, usually some children will fall and some may even run into each other. So you may need to do a little explaining before the game that there is no pushing, etc. However, serious injuries are extremely rare, although there is always a risk of that when playing any game.

Have fun with Captain Midnight!

Book Review: Family-Integrated Church

Charlie Wallace — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:08:06 +0000

One of the current buzzwords in churchlife today is the phrase, “family-integrated.” However, what looks to the casual observer as simply a “fad” is more than that: it is a theological, methodological, and philosophical conviction for those leaders in churches who are truly family-integrated.

Family-Integrated Church, by J. Mark Fox, (Xulon, 2006) is one church’s story of how it transformed over the years from a typical program-driven church to one that became purely family-driven. It is the story of how Antioch Community Church in Burlington, North Carolina has developed into what it is today.

Fox says, “We realized…how God had led us over the past 18 years to be a church where biblical manhood and womanhood is celebrated and encouraged, and families are not divided up as soon as they walk in the door.” (10)

With this statement, Fox opens the discussion on the topic of age-segregation versus integration. To be honest, up until a year or so ago I had given very little thought to the truth that there was another way to “do church” where people and children of different ages were not divided up into age-graded classes and/or ministries.

Early in Antioch’s history, the church met at Elon College where hundreds of college students attended their weekly services. Fox says, “We could not be a program-driven church while we were meeting on the campus, and did not have a facility to ‘call our own’…we did not have the space or energy to devote to age-segregated programs. So we did not have them.”

What started out as a void in the church developed into one of its key principles. Fox says, “It was becoming clearer to us as we grew up in the Lord that God was changing the vision of the church. We had started with the idea that we could be all things to all people…but God began to change our hearts. We began to see that the heart of the church was family, that God had called us to relate to one another as brothers and sisters.” (44) Furthermore, “We began to catch on to the revelation that God’s purpose for “youth ministry” is to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers” and not the opposite. (45) This idea is central to the family-integrated movement.

In Antioch’s children’s ministry, the church started to run out of called, qualified teachers. Instead of plugging reluctant people into those slots the church began to re-think their strategy. Part of this strategy included ditching Sunday School. Fox says, “But why was Sunday School begun in the first place? It was an effort to reach out to the poor children who were not well educated, who were running wild in the streets on the ‘Sabbath’ and profaning the day of the Lord. It was an effort at evangelism and education, and I believe God used the effort to win souls and encourage saints to reach out. But as with many programs that started out with good intentions, the purpose morphed into a place to corral young people and children so they could be kept out of trouble and possibly where they could be taught the Bible stories that every child should know.” (55)

Fox states further, “…most churches who offer age-segregated programs do so because they believe that is ‘normal Christianity,’ not because they believe it is the best way to reach children. They keep Sunday School and other programs in place because they honestly believe that a church without a Sunday School program is not even a biblical church. But I would challenge them to find anything that vaguely resembles age-segregation in the Scripture.” (55) To a children’s pastor that oversees a very high-octane program-driven ministry, that one stung.

Antioch does offer programs during the “Sunday School hour” before church and at other times on a rotation basis. The key is that no program is permanent. They use programs as they see fit and discard them when they’ve run their course.

The second half of the book is a more of a description of the way the church is governed and organized and less about the family-integrated element. However, the last chapter does give a sketch at what it looks like on a typical Sunday morning.

Most Sundays begin at 7:30 am as the pastor and elders pray for 90 minutes. That’s humbling. At 9:00 am the worship team gathers and practices and any current studies that are going on may meet during this time. They’ve had a class before for boys aged 12-18 where fathers come and are involved. They’ve also had one for girls of the same age. Again, any idea for a short-term class can be done during that hour.

At 10:00 am the worship service begins. For the first 3o minutes of the service, during the singing, there is no nursery. Antioch desires to have infants in the sanctuary, crying and all, during corporate worship. Once the preaching starts, the nursery is open to those children 2 years old and younger, although Antioch encourages them to stay with their families. Another interesting aspect is that after the sermon, the pastor opens up the floor (egads!) for questions and testimony by the members. Fox says that this is is almost always a rewarding time. Whenever someone abuses it, however, the elders, call the abusers out. Once a month the church takes communion after this session. Then they open the floor once again to “thanksgivings” and people tell how the Lord has been good to them. The entire service usually runs around 2 hours.

I would say that Family-Integrated Church is a must read for anyone that is involved in children’s ministry or any type of church ministry for that matter. Some will be tempted to immediately overhaul their ministry or church by reading this book. That, of course, would be disastrous. However, there are many subtle things that you could do in an established church that can help create a more family-integrated atmosphere. Antioch Community Church is just one of many such churches being plante or organized. Family-integration is not a fad. It is a conviction. And it is one that will further continue to impact, and rightly so, churches, ministries, and lives.

More posts about family ministry: Read Terry Dealaney’s review of the book Three Perspectives on Family Ministry or browse all our posts on family ministry.

Avoid Ministry Burnout & Do More Through Delegation

Charlie Wallace — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 19:21:27 +0000

Those that lead in children’s ministry are typically expected to “do everything” – even if they are not gifted in certain areas. In fact, a common notion is that a “good” Children’s Pastor is one that teaches, administrates, leads, takes out the trash, trains teachers often, is at the church 6 days a week (at least) and still has quality family time.

Unfortunately, this type of standard is just impossible to uphold. What happens is that many children’s ministry leaders end up spending much of their time doing things that (a) they don’t like doing and (b) they don’t want to do. This is a recipe for disaster and ministry burnout.

Why? Because that is the expectation. If a Children’s Minister is not doing something that another person in the church expects them to be doing that Children’s minister can be mislabeled as “lazy” or “uncommitted” or even “worthless.”

I don’t have the final answer to this quandary, but I can offer some advice for those that struggle in this area based on my, somewhat limited, experience:

a. Do first what you like doing and what you do well in – Whatever that is, make it a priority. For me, it’s teaching. Therefore, I try to create as many opportunities to teach as possible. That can be somewhat challenging as the bulk of my “job description” is administrative.

b. Delegate what you struggle with and do not like doing – Let’s face it: you’re not going to do something well that you don’t like to do. There are times you’ll have to do part of your job that you don’t like, but for the most part, find those people that enjoy that type of work and hand it off to them. Both of you win in this situation.

c. Take criticism with a grain of salt - The second you start delegating, you’ll begin to get criticized. At my church, there are people who know much more about certain areas of my ministry because not only have I delegated responsibility to them but I’ve also delegated certain levels of authority. When criticized, (a) think about who the criticism is coming from, (b) think about what it is they are saying, (c) think about possible solutions – ask them if they know of one!, (d) pray and ask God to show you anything that you are doing wrong, and (e) move on.

I’m convinced that the Evil One wants to make ministry leaders fell inadequate – especially when they don’t have “control” over every little area of their ministry. Don’t fall victim to that type of spiritual warfare. Do what you do best and delegate the rest. Of course, not everything will be delegated but set a goal of fill about 2/3 of your daily job duties with things that you are good at and enjoy.

What about you? Where are some areas that you’ve discovered that you should delegate? Where are some areas that you’ve discovered, “I need to do more of that”?

Summertime Attendance Lows: How to avoid discouragement

Dealing with Ministry Conflict through Email – Should We?

Charlie Wallace — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:00:06 +0000

Raise your hand if you’ve ever received an angry complaint via email. Now, think about that incident and imagine what the “conversation” may have sounded like if it had taken place over the phone. What about in person?

The fact of the matter is that when dealing with conflict or complaints a good rule of thumb is to deal with them in person, face-to-face. Here are some guidelines that I’ve learned (mostly by mistake) through my time in ministry:

1. Respond to challenging/threatening/slandering emails slowly and with much care and prayer – Because email is the most impersonal of the three ways to communicate those in ministry tend to get lit up with these types of situations – especially in children’s ministry where people’s young children are often the center of the conflict. These type of emails typically catch you by surprise and if you don’t watch out you may catch yourself taking the bait. Be careful when responding and always pray before you type. Sometimes it’s even good to take a day or so to calm your nerves. We typically will say things through email that we would never say to someone’s face.

2. Never respond through email what you would not want your parents or boss to read – You never know who’ll be forwarded something you’ve written. Whatever you write through email, especially when responding to conflict, always be okay with anyone reading it. This will help you choose your words carefully. Your email correspondance with the person in conflict is almost never a private exchange.

3. Offer to talk on the phone or meet in person if an issue cannot be resolved – Nothing good comes from emailing back and forth on an issue when a simple phone call or face-to-face exchange can clear things up quickly.

4. Use the phone or face-to-face contact when you need to talk to someone about something serious – don’t blast them with an email either.

5. Use email mainly for distilling of information – At one point I got so many emails about certain conflicts that I considered getting rid of my email. No email would then equal less conflict in my mind. Therefore, if it’s worth writing email after email about then its worth meeting in person or at least on the phone.

What about you? What are some lessons that you’ve learned or experiences that you’ve had where email has been a hindrance?

Do You Have a Children’s Ministry Philosophy?

Charlie Wallace — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:02:55 +0000

Children’s ministry can be messy. The main reason that it can be messy is because you, as a children’s ministry leader must deal with parents of young children. Most often that means you deal with young, first-time parents. These parents love their children and will kill for them (not literally…at least I don’t think). One of the areas where children’s pastors may experience some conflict is philosophy. Do you have a leadership philosophy when it comes to leading your children’s ministry?

My mission statement is simple: Jesus.

My vision statement is more complex: FirstKids desires to provide all children with a safe, loving, and fun enviornment so that they can come to a saving faith in Jesus Christ and grow spiritually in Him.

How we work that vision and mission out practically becomes our philosophy, whether or not we penned one or not. For instance, my philsophy as a children’s pastor is to partner with parents in ensuring that they are doing their God-ordained job of discipling their children in the home. Therefore, I invest fully in building relationships with parents through friendship and teaching so that they know that I support them in leading their families. Through these relationships I can build healthly relationships with their children. The parents know that I care for them and love them and their kids. Furthemore, I emphaisize that fathers are called to carry the spirutal mantle for their families. My philosophy starts with my theology, which influences my philosophy, which then influences my methedology.

How about you? What is your ministry philosophy?

No related posts.

What About Promotion Sunday?

Charlie Wallace — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 12:23:22 +0000

At the church where I serve, Promotion Sunday, that day when kids move up to the next grade/class in Sunday School and other activities, for years occurred the first Sunday of September. However, by the time I arrived the date had been pushed back to the first Sunday in June. This was done primarily for one reason: by the time the summer had arrived our 5th graders were ready to promote into our middle school ministry (for those that don’t have a middle school ministry, you can probabcly relate to this with your 6th graders as they approach youth ministry).

One problem, however, that I encountered was that many in our preschool division were not quite ready to promote in June. For instance, our Kindergarten teachers had us order 3-4s curriculum because their kids were not quite ready for the K5 material. What to do?

I compromised. I went ahead and promoted my 5th graders into the middle school ministry at the end of May (which made both parties happy – including our 5th grade teachers who enjoyed taking the summer off from teaching) and we pushed promotion back to the first Sunday in August – not September. Because school starts in mid-August, we figured why not have the kids promote a little early before all of the back-to-school hype started off. September just seemed too late.

When does your Children’s Ministry or Sunday School do promotion Sunday?

What about you? When do you promote? What lessons have you learned about promotion?

Sunday School Teacher Appreciation

Post VBS Review of Group’s Rome

Charlie Wallace — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:07:17 +0000

This year the church were I serve decided to do something it had never done before by branching out and doing Group’s VBS, Rome: Paul and the Underground Church. For years my church has done Lifeway’s VBS. In fact, preparation became so predictable that at times we were just going through the motions. After looking at different formats I stumbled across Rome. I decided to go ahead and order the sample pack and as I read through the material I became more and more impressed. By January my team decided that we would gamble and try something different. Being that we are a 200-year old church, different does not always equal success. However, I am proud to announce that Rome was more than a success. For the remainder of this post I am going to critique the good and the bad of Rome.

What Went Right:

1. The Marketplace: The Marketplace was by far the kids’ favorite part. We located the Marketplace in our fellowship hall and it consisted of 8-9 tents of different crafts where shopkeepers helped the kids make various objects. The kids were given three gold coins each day to spend. Each craft cost one gold coin as did their snack. Throw in the fact that the shopkeepers were in character as well as a daily drama and the marketplace was a huge hit. It will be very tough to ever go back to a simple “crafts station” for a future VBS. The marketplace became the center of Rome and was a huge hit.

2. Interactive Drama: The children absolutely loved this. Every day the kids visited Paul while he was under house-arrest and chained to a Roman guard named Brutus. Each day they got to see the transformation that Brutus underwent as he was at first very anti-Christian but eventually decided to follow Jesus on Friday. One of the main reasons that he decided to do so was because the kids did not help Paul escape when Brutus fell asleep on Wednesday. This enabled the kids to feel like they made a difference in Brutus’ life.

When the children left Paul’s house they then went to the Underground Church. The kids had to get on their hands and knees and literally crawl through a tunnel that led to the “cave” where the church was meeting. Everyday they would give the church members a message from Paul. They loved being able to take part in this way.

In the marketplace each shopkeeper was in character and not all were Christians. Some were Jewish, atheists, curious about Jesus, polytheists, etc. We found that the children who were already Christians were zealously witnessing to the shopkeepers. In fact, many of them had to finally accept Christ during the week so that the kids would leave them alone. One girl prayed with her shopkeepers, “Dear Lord, please forgive these women for their sins…” What an amazing testimony!

Also, the daily drama with various characters was highly effective.

3. Age-integrated – Group suggested putting preschoolers in “family groups” right along with older kids. I knew this would not work at our church. So, preschoolers were put in their own individual classes and they saw Paul every day (but not the Underground Church) and they went up to the marketplace for half the normal time. For the most part having grades 1-5 in the same family groups helped because we were able to keep families and friends/guests together.

4. Evangelistic Effectiveness: Let’s not forget the real reason we do VBS: so that kids will be saved. We had 25 preschoolers make a decision to follow Jesus as I gave a talk during our morning worship service. I feel that the curriculum was wonderful in setting up a time for decisions. It was amazing to see older kids speaking with their teachers and literally crying tears of joy over their new life. One girl said as she wept, “I am so happy over what Jesus has done for me.” That’s what it’s all about.

What Went Wrong:

1. The Marketplace: We realized that by Tuesday we were going to run out of crafts. Because Rome is designed to work on a 2-hour schedule (we had extrapolated to 3-hours) 50 minutes in the Marketplace became too long of a time slot for the curriculum provided. A kid could easily spend two gold coins on two crafts and the other on a snack and still have 10-15 minutes to kill. We started introducing new crafts every day so that there would always be something fresh and different and so that we would not run out of things to do. Fortunately I had a great craft leader and great helpers who were able to think on the fly.

2. Interactive Drama – When in character it is sometimes hard to effectively discipline children. For instance, the kids really didn’t like the Roman guards. Some even tried to hit them. One of our guards had to really use his shield! Also, as Paul, sometimes it was awkward for me to call a kid down who was misbehaving as I was trying to do my lines, etc.

During the daily drama scenes in the marketplace that use Roman guards we found that the children really didn’t like the guards. On Friday when the guards shut the Christian woman’s marketplace down some kids cried and others yelled and literally chased the guards out of the room. It’s a fine line between reality and make-believe and some kids are still trying to figure out where that line is.

3. Age-integrated – Because this is an age-integrated program there is virtually no preschool curriculum. This is a huge area of weakness with this VBS. I understand partly why Group does it but I imagine that the main reason is to save money on publishing guides, etc. If we do this style of VBS again I will personally use old VBS preschool curriculum as a guide and tailor the current year’s VBS to that. We tried to do this a little bit this year, which helped, but there was a lot of downtime for preschoolers. One thing about Lifeway – there is never downtime. They pack their curriculum so tight on purpose for that reason.

4. Evangelistic Effectiveness: Group does not really build in a spot to bring “the talk.” Therefore, I chose Thursday to speak since that day’s point was “God’s love saves us.” Therefore, we had to bypass most of the scripted Worship time for that morning.

Overall, this VBS was wonderful. Many people who have been at this church for many many years said that this year’s VBS was the best that they’d ever seen. What a compliment! I think most of our people are already geared up to do Egypt: Joseph’s Journey from Prison to Palace next year. It looks like I may have no choice in what we do. Our crafts leader said she’s already thinking of ideas for decorating. On a scale of 1-10 I would give this entire VBS an 8.5. There are a few kinks that can be worked out and if that happens next year I believe we will have close to a 10.

AWANA Games for Children’s Ministry: Silent Football

Charlie Wallace — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 10:25:35 +0000

Here is another great “backpocket” game to play with kids when you need them to settle down and/or kill time. The game is called Silent Football. Many of you have perhaps heard of this game. Here is how it works:

- Have the kids sit in a tight circle

- Explain that the point of the game is to pass around an invisible football.

- The way you pass the ball is to slap your leg with your hand.

- If you slap your left leg one time the invisible ball is passed to the person next to you on your left. If you slap your right leg one time the invisible ball is passed to the person to your right.

- If you slap your leg twice, it skips the person beside you and goes to the next person and goes round and round the circle.

- If someone slaps their leg when it’s not their turn or someone does not slap when they are supposed to any person in the circle may raise their hand and make an “accusation.”

- When the player raises their hand they can “accuse” the person who did not follow the rules.

- The adult present acts as the commissioner. When a person accuses another player this is how it must go:

- “Mr. Commissioner, I accuse Johnny Baptist of not slapping his leg when he was supposed to…” or “Mr. Commissioner, I accuse Susie Church for slapping her leg when she was not supposed to.”

- If these accusations are correct the guilty must sit in the middle of the circle. If the accusation is incorrect or the accuser did not say the accusation in the proper form (for instance, not saying “Mr. Commissioner”) then that player goes into the center of the circle.

- Once there are three players in the center of the circle then a player gets to decide that kids’ “punishment.” Ideas are to make them sing “I’m a little teapot” or “The Barney Song,” etc…something good natured and funny.

If the game starts to get stale or predictable you can allow the players to slap their legs three or even four times.

Have fun with Silent Football!

AWANA Games for Children’s Ministry: Quiet Ball

Charlie Wallace — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 13:21:24 +0000

Sometimes as a leader in children’s ministry you may find yourself in a most inevitable and unfortunate position: downtime. What do you do when you have 30 kids and 5-10 minutes to kill? When I worked at the YMCA we had a stash of ideas that we called “backpocket games.”

These games were a way for us to kill time that way the children wouldn’t kill themselves. Most of these games have nothing to do about Jesus, however, they are a good way to grab control over a group of kids when things seem to be going awry. In this post, I am going to introduce to you the wonderful game of Quiet Ball.

Children’s Ministry Game: Quiet Ball

For some reason, this game (read: ploy to make kids settle down) is always a child favorite (And all you need is a ball – or something you can throw) Here’s how you play:

Have the kids spread out at least at arms length with each other across the room, field, gym, etc.
Give the rules: Everyone must be quiet. If a child speaks, makes any noises, etc, he or she is out. Disclaimer: You’re sure to get the “What if I sneeze/cough/burp, etc.” question. If you do, just say, “one sneeze/cough/burp per person and then you’re out.”
Demonstrate how to play by throwing the ball to a kid who you know will catch it.
Have the kid throw it back to you. Drop the ball. Announce that when a player drops the ball he is out and must sit down.
Have that kid throw it to another kid. Have that kid throw it back to the first one. Have the first kid drop the ball. Announce that if the person that got you out, gets out, (in this case the first kid) you can get back in. You’re now in the game and the first kid is out. He can get back in if you get out.
Start playing. Remember, if any child talks or makes any noise he must sit down, he is out.

I’ve seen this game go on for over 30 minutes. Somehow it works. Plus, it’s fun. Especially, when the kids successfully get an adult out.

One other disclaimer: If a throw is too high, too low, or “un-catchable,” the thrower is out and he/she can get back in when the person that he threw it to is out.