Ministry-to-Children.com » Children & Salvation

The Age of Accountability: Rethinking Children and Salvation

Tony Kummer — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:29:56 +0000

Welcome to another session of the Children’s Ministry Think Tank. This is a monthly feature where we discuss controversial or difficult topics related to children’s ministry. Our responses are just a starting point, we encourage you to share your views in the comment section below.

What About the Age of Accountability?

What do you teach about concerning a child’s condition (sometimes called age) of accountability for responding to the Gospel? How would you counsel a parent who is concerned about a preschool aged child who seems disinterested in learning about Jesus? If you had to estimate (and you do), what is the chronological age that most children become fully accountable for their decision about Christ?

Response from Jared Kennedy

Some Christians and Christian traditions maintain that Scripture teaches an “age of accountability” before which young children are not held responsible for sin and are not counted guilty before God. But several Bible passages indicate that children (even before they are born) have a guilty standing before God and a sinful nature so that they not only have a tendency to sin, but God views them as sinners (Psalm 51:5; 58:3; Ephesians 2:3). Experienced parents know that children do not have to be taught to do wrong. It is their natural inclination to disobey, to lie, and to manipulate.

This is one of the strongest motivations for Christian parents and Christian churches teaching the gospel to their children from the youngest age. We teach about Jesus because children need Jesus as their savior from sin. As one famous preacher said, “The gospel is meat for men but it is also milk for babes.” But kids don’t always want to hear about Jesus and trust him. When a preschool age child isn’t interested in learning about Jesus, there isn’t necessarily a cookie-cutter answer, but here are some areas I’d explore with the parent: (1) I’d encourage the parent to examine his or her own heart. Does mom and/or dad get excited about Jesus and learning from his Word? Do they regularly pray and read Bible stories together with their family? Young children often look to and follow their parent’s example. Perhaps a parent has a satisfying relationship with the Lord, but it is private and not shared with the child. Invite the child into your relationship with Jesus. (2) I’d ask the parent whether or not he or she talks about sin with their child. Does your child know that when she disobeys you, she is also disobeying God? Do you just talk about your child’s misbehavior (taking a cookie, hitting his sister, not sharing), or do you talk with him about the heart attitudes and motivations that lie behind that behavior (greed, pride in performance, selfishness)? When our children have a more honest view of the extent to which sin is rooted in their hearts, they will be more likely to look for and respond to Christ—who provides pardon and provision for that sin. (3) Most importantly, I’d pray with the parent, and I’d encourage the parent to pray. Salvation is ultimately God’s work in the child’s heart. May God have mercy on our kids and help them to repent from sin and love Jesus.

As I stated above, I cannot justify an “age of accountability” from the Scriptures. John the Baptist was filled with the Holy Spirit from his mother’s womb (Luke 1:15). Since salvation is God’s work in a person’s heart, it doesn’t require any particular level of cognitive understanding or behavioral response to be present and real. Growth in faith is certainly evidenced by understanding and behavior, but it is not earned (or merited) by them. Faith is more than a decision, it is a gift from God. So, my age estimate is somewhere around conception.

Jared Kennedy is a husband, a father, and the Director of SojournKids (http://sojournkids.com), the Children’s Ministry of Sojourn Community Church in downtown Louisville, KY.

Response from Nicole VanderMeulen

I apologize if you’re already tired of me saying this, but the Lutheran theology in which I stand strongly believes that it’s more about God choosing us (and he has, all of us!) and not about us choosing him. It’s all about the grace. If your child is disinterested in church or Jesus or anything else you find essential, well God forgives them for all of those things too!

That is not to say that we shouldn’t be concerned about our child’s development regarding their Christian education and faith. Each child is uniquely wonderful and will develop at their own pace. Each one of us learned to walk, talk, ride a bike, sleep through the night, read, and do about a billion other things all at a very different rate in a plethora of different ways, most of which could all be considered “normal”. I don’t think children’s understanding and accepting of Jesus is different than any other developmental milestone. Why can’t we just celebrate the special and unique gifts each child brings to our village, rather than worrying or trying to force faith?

My other thought is that I know many, many adults who question their relationship with Jesus and hit bumps and potholes along their faith journey. I actually find this healthy and not of concern. To fear and to question and to wonder and to doubt are all means for growing in faith. Why would we expect our children to be any more firm or certain than most adults can be? The concept of Jesus and the news of the Gospel is VERY abstract knowledge for a child (and still for many adults too!) to comprehend. I think expecting this type of understanding from a child is inappropriate and will only set us up for disappointment. Instead, I encourage telling children over and over about God’s unending love for them and showing them the care and community that comes with membership in a Christian family. The rest will come.

The educator in me would say that if your preschooler isn’t interested in learning about Jesus, than you should re-examine the teaching strategies being used. I don’t think I’ve met a child yet who is truly disinterested in learning about Jesus if the information is presented in a fun, engaging, age-appropriate, diverse manner.

I can’t put an age on accountability for the Gospel, because I truly believe our relationship with God is a journey, not a moment or a single prayer, or day, or year. Our faith is ever-changing and I think that is healthy for all ages.

Nicole VanderMeulen serves as the Children’s Ministry Coordinator at St. Matthew’s Lutheran Church in Renton, Washington. She is a regular lesson plan contributor for our website.

Response from Wayne Stocks

By God’s providence, the Bible does not give a specific age at which an individual is accountable for the knowledge of their sin and their decision to accept or reject Jesus Christ as their savior. There is ample evidence in the Bible that children who die before this “age of accountability” do in fact go to heaven. Indeed, people like Charles Spurgeon have postulated that, because of this, the streets of heaven may well be populated more by those who died before this age of accountability than those who attained a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ after the age of accountability.

The age of accountability is different for all children, but I think we can define it as the age at which a child is capable of knowing and understanding that they are a sinner, recognizing that they needed a savior, understanding that Jesus Christ is Savior and Lord, and realizing that we are saved only by the grace of God and not by virtue of anything we can do. Only God knows what that age is for each individual child. Despite that, Tony has asked us to estimate the chronological age at which children become accountable for their decision about Christ. I will hedge just a bit, and answer the question this way: I think that by the age of twelve most children will have reached the age of accountability. I also believe many children actually reach it earlier than that (sometimes much earlier). In Jewish tradition, a boy became a man and entered adulthood at age 12. This is consistent with Jesus’ age when his parents brought him to the temple and he was found in deep theological conversations with the teachers of his age. Mary was a young woman (likely middle school aged) when the angel Gabriel appeared to her and told her she was pregnant with the Son of God. I think all of this points to somewhere around 12 or so as a “maximum” age of accountability for most kids.

As for a minimum age, I think that kids are definitely capable of accepting Christ and fully comprehending that decision at a much younger age than twelve. I am not entirely sure what the floor is, only God knows! In short, I’m with Charles Spurgeon on this one who wrote in the book Come ‘Ye Children:

“I will not say at what age children are first capable of receiving the knowledge of Christ, but it is much earlier than some fancy; and we have seen and known children who have given abundant evidence that they have received Christ and have believed in Him at a very early age.”

I think it is imperative as parents and Children’s Ministry workers’ that we never let our preconceived notions about whether or not a child is old enough to accept Christ stand in the way of the Lord’s work. I think as many times as a child wants to make a profession of faith or “ask God into their heart,” we should encourage that. We may not know at that moment whether or not they have attained to saving faith, but God does. In my own experience, my eight year old son prayed of his own volition (really God’s but by his own I mean without human prompting) several times from age four until age seven for Jesus to come into his heart and be his Lord. That said, when he was filling out the form at our church to be baptized several weeks ago, he knew exactly which date it was (to the day) when that prayer “stuck” and he became part of God’s family!

Finally, when it comes to encouraging parents of preschool aged students who seem disinterested in learning about Jesus, I would just encourage them to keep trying, be patient, pray and trust in the Lord. All children are different. If your child doesn’t like being “taught” about Jesus, find a good story book like the Jesus Storybook Bible and read it to them. If they don’t like being read to, there are great video resources out there. If they like games, there are good game resources out there. Just don’t give up. Keep modeling what it looks like to live for Jesus and they will eventually become interested. Finally, while as parent we must fulfill our duties to pass along our knowledge of the Lord as laid out in Deuteronomy 6, we must also remember that the outcome and timing of everything in our children’s lives belong to the Lord.

Read more from Wayne Stocks on his blog “Dad in the Middle”.

Response from Brenna Phillips

Q: What do you teach about concerning a child’s condition (sometimes called age) of accountability for responding to the Gospel?

There is no age of accountability about when a child (person) responds to the Gospel. A person can make a faith decision at any age in which he understands.

Q: How would you counsel a parent who is concerned about a preschool aged child who seems disinterested in learning about Jesus?

Preschoolers develop and mature at different ages and stages. As an early childhood teacher, I see 3-5 year olds learn at different levels and in different ways. Some 3 year olds students can write their names and letters of the alphabet. Others struggle to simply identify their written names. They learn differently at different times. Early childhood teachers continue to teach using different methods and preschoolers develop and learn all along the way. Therefore, Christian education teachers and parents must continue to teach preschoolers about Jesus using different teaching methods. They may seem disinterested but they are listening and comprehending the message on their own levels. Little tidbits of information are connecting in their minds. Through relationships with those preschoolers, teachers and parents will hear them say something and repeat something that they have heard and learned.

Q: If you had to estimate (and you do), what is the chronological age that most children become fully accountable for their decision about Christ?

The answer to this question is a grey area. There is no age of accountability when children (people) become fully accountable in their decisions about Christ. The Scripture does not speak about accountability ages. God holds a person accountable when he/she is totally woo’ed by Him in making a decision. Believing and accepting Christ is as easy as A-admit, B-believe, C-choose and a person is instructed to come to Christ with faith as a little child. When a person comes to understand and make a faith decision, then he is held accountable. There is no set age for this accountability.

Brenna Phillips is Children-Family Minister at Mission Fellowship Church in Middletown, Delaware, and teaches preschool students at an early childhood learning center.

Response from Terry Delaney

As a children’s minister, I specifically teach first through fifth grade in Sunday School using a master teacher approach where I teach one lesson and then the children break down according to age into a smaller group setting for discussion and application with other teachers. I challenge the children all the time with their sin and that they must respond in repentance (yes, I use the “big” words with explanation as to what they mean) and trust in what Christ did for them.

My kindergarten kids were taught about sin last year with the Children’s Desiring God curriculum. At first, my teachers did not like it much, but have seen the fruit of their teaching this doctrine to kids so young in that the children are beginning to view things through a biblical lens rather than “what Johnny and Susie does.”

Regarding counseling parents whose children “seem” disinterested, I exhort them to continue teaching their children diligently (Dt. 6:7) and that the Lord will bless their efforts. Usually, I can counsel the parents to avoid the multitude of distractions in a child’s life (television and video games) and help them to set up a time of family worship each evening for five minutes or so. To a person, they have said that making these slight changes radically changes their children’s attitudes in most every area.

I believe that a child becomes fully accountable for her decision for Christ when she is fully aware of right and wrong. I also believe that the parents should be teaching their children about sin from day one and that Christ never sinned yet He died so that we could be forgiven of our sin. Whenever I discipline any child, I explain to them that what they did was sin and that Christ died for that sin. This has a lasting effect on the child in that they now begin to see just how sinful their hearts really are (Jer. 17:9) and how gracious our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ truly is.

The way I see it, the world–and the prince of this world–begins an onslaught on our children from day one. We must be on the defense from day one teaching our children the realities of the spiritual warfare that is taking place. Many parents underestimate their children’s ability to understand and discern, but as a parent of four, I can honestly tell you that they are sponges and they soak in more than we can imagine. It is up to us as the parents to keep Christ before our children at every possible moment and do so until they or we shall leave this earth.

Terry Delaney is a regular contributor to our blog and also edits a website about Christian Book Reviews.

Response from Charlie Wallace

The notion of an “age of accountability” is a topic that has been debated for years. Paedobaptists (those that baptize infants) do not discuss this topic as frequently since they typically hold to the same basic belief as Calvin:

“If any of those who are the objects of divine election, after receiving the sign of regeneration (baptism) depart this life before they have attained the years of discretion, the Lord renews them by the power of his Spirit, in a way incomprehensible to us as he alone foresees will be necessary.” (Godfrey, Robert W. John Calvin, Crossway: Wheaton, IL, 2009, 104).

This however, only occurs for the elect – those children who God has chosen to redeem before the foundation of the world. In this way, baptism of infants confirms that they are part of God’s covenant people.

If, however, you believe that God has not chosen some to salvation before the foundation of the world, and are a devout credobaptist then the age of accountability becomes an issue. What do you tell a parent whose 3-year old dies in a tragic accident? Does the child go to Hell? On this issue, I would argue that there is a profound difference between one’s original sin that has been inherited from Adam and one’s willful and disobedient sin that a child, or person, commits. We are held accountable by a just and righteous God for the sin that we commit when we are mentally capable of understanding it. (The same would hold for those who hare mentally handicapped, etc.)

For a parent who is concerned about their child’s sinful behavior, at whatever age, I would tell them to (1) pray earnestly and frequently that the Spirit will convict their child of their sin, (2) continue to do their part as the parent in teaching their child about Jesus, and (3) rest in the comfort of knowing that God is providential and sovereign. Depending on your view of God he either knows what will happen to your child, has deemed what will happen to him, or perhaps both! Whatever God’s role, it is completely holy and good because he is God and our notion of what is fair and just comes from our being made in His image. Unfortunately, our child’s salvation is one thing that parents cannot control. As much as we would like to, we can’t.

As far as the age that a child becomes cognizant of their sin, I would say that there exists a wide range. I have counseled 5 year olds that were broken-hearted about their sin and knew they needed Jesus for salvation. I have counseled 10-year olds that were clueless. Like adults, children come to the Lord at different times in their lives. Our job as pastors and parents is to pray that they will come to faith – and come to faith as soon as possible.

Charlie Wallace is the Children’s Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Columbia, SC. He is a regular contributor for our blog. You can read more from Charlie on his blog titled First Kids.

What Do You Think?

This is one of those issues that is not going away. Leave your response to my question in the comment box below. You can also interact with the points made by different writers.

The Gospel for Children: The Importance of Jesus in Every Kids Church Lesson

Charlie Wallace — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:23:41 +0000

I took part in a roundtable discussion yesterday with pastors and staff from churches around the area. The topic and reason for the conference was the subject of evangelism. It was a great time of church leaders sharing different ways that they try to reach people for Jesus. I was the lone children’s pastor in attendance so I gave my thoughts on my strategies for reaching children and their families. When it came to evangelism methods and techniques that were being shared I really couldn’t add anything novel or innovative to the discussion that hadn’ t been heard before. Therefore, I simply worked my ministry vision into the the discussion. I explained that the main principle of my strategy is to simply clearly explain and share the Gospel.

As children’s ministry leaders and parents, you are very aware of the myriad of options that are available when it comes to curriculum, programming, events, etc. But there is one area that I feel strongly about and try to constantly remind my teachers and volunteers and that is the intentionality of keeping the Gospel central in whatever we do. What do I mean by that? I mean that to simply never forget to teach the Gospel: the good news that God sent His son Jesus to the earth to rescue sinners from eternal death by dying on the cross for their sins, and later raising from the dead after three days and ascending into Heaven to rule at the right hand of God. And that all who repent of their sins and follow Him will receive eternal life.

No matter what curriculum you are using it is very easy to lose the forest for the trees when teaching children. For instance, when teaching about David and Goliath do you ever teach the lesson redemptively? Do you ever explain that David was one of Jesus’ ancestors? And do you then take the segway into telling how Jesus is our Savior? Do you ever explain to them that just as David trusted God to protect him from lions and Goliath, so we can trust Jesus to save us from eternal death?

You may ask, “What does a random Old Tesament story have to do with Jesus?” My answer: Everything. There is indeed a scarlet thread that runs throughout all of Scripture. That scarlet thread represents the blood that Jesus shed on the cross as he redeemed his people. No matter what story children are being taught, the good news of Jesus should always be presented because, quite simply, that good news should be the penultimate reason that a child is at church in the first place.

Teaching Children About Sin Versus Protecting Their Self Esteem

Tony Kummer — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:40:17 +0000

Thanks for joining us for another session of the Children’s Ministry Think Tank. The purpose of these posts is to address some of the sticky issues that come up in real world kids ministry. Please join the conversation by leaving a comment at the end of the post.

Question: Thinking about Sin and Self Esteem

How do you teach the doctrine of sin to children without harming their self-esteem? Especially with preschool children, how explicitly do you teach them about their own depravity? How do parents in your ministry respond to these issues?

Response From Brenna Phillips

The Bible speaks clearly about obedience. We have a great responsibility to be obedient to God. We can learn from the kings who ruled Israel and Judah that there are consequences for having a lack of obedience. Some kings began their time of reign as good kings who followed God’s ways but somewhere along the way, they lost their focus and traveled down the wrong path leading them to destruction and often death.

How do we teach sin to children? We teach them that it is our responsibility to be obedient. We love God; therefore, we are obedient to follow His ways. When we lose that focus and are not obedient to God then there are consequences and punishments.

We are obedient to God by being obedient to our parents, grandparents, teachers, and other adults. When we mess up and are disobedient, that is called sin. Sin separates us from God. Sin can be big, like stealing something that doesn’t belong to us or hurting someone else even as far as death. Sin can be something smaller, like saying unkind words to someone or treating others badly. God loves us but He hates sin. God wants us to follow His ways and obey His commandments and rules.

Think about a river. As the water flows in a river, it picks up dirty mud, trash, and pollutants along the riverbanks. This trash floats in the water making it very dirty. Sin is the trash in our lives that makes us dirty. The cross upon which Jesus died is our bridge across that “dirty river.” When we accept Jesus as our personal Savior, we are walking across that bridge to God where we are clean and free from sin again. It is our responsibility to be obedient to stay clean and follow God’s ways and commandments.

The parents of the children involved in the children’s ministry at my church have not had any responses to teaching about sin. They are appreciative that I teach their children on their levels of understanding.

Brenna Phillips is the Children’s-Family Minister at Mission Fellowship Church in Middletown, Delaware, and teaches 3-4 year old students at an early childhood learning center. www.brennaphillips.com

Response From Terry Delaney

I believe first and foremost we have made an idol of self-esteem. While we do not want to “beat” the children up with talk of sin, I think we need to start at a very early age explaining to the children what sin is. We are told to teach “these things” to our children in Deuteronomy 6. The “these things” being referred to is the book of Law and it is there where you find what sin is exactly as well as what obedience to God looks like. By not teaching our children early in life what sin is and what it is not, we create the exact opposite of what Paul wants us to be in Romans 12:3–that we not think as highly of ourselves as we ought.

Teaching them about their depravity (I would not use that word in talking with the kids) is actually quite simple. If you continue to show the kids what the Bible says about their disobedience, the Holy Spirit will begin to work in their hearts. We really do not need to do much other than hold them accountable to what Scripture says. We should always compare them to Jesus Christ as the ultimate role model rather than having them look to another child who is acting obedient. When compared to the standard of Christ, we all fall short of the glory of God.

Unfortunately, I have found that I need to teach the parents more about sin than the children. The kids know they are sinning, but they also know that mom and dad will let them get away with it. Parents have bought into a psychological understanding of rearing their children that does not corroborate what the Bible teaches–that we are all sinners from birth. The children usually understand more readily that they are sinning than the parents. For those parents who do begin to make that paradigm shift in their minds, I have noticed a major attitude change in the children. It is amazing what a biblical understanding of your child will do for your ability to discipline properly.

By teaching children early in life that their disobedience to mommy and daddy is actually a sin against God lays a wonderful, biblical foundation for the gospel later. I have seen this in my own son who just turned five years old. He told us the day before his 5th birthday that “Jesus cast Satan out of my heart.” He said he was tired of sinning and wanted Jesus to forgive him. While we are not ready to dunk him and declare him to be a Christian, we have noticed that the Spirit really convicts him of his wrong doings and that when we challenge him with the Bible he readily conforms to Scripture.

Terry Delaney is the Children’s Minister at Carlisle Avenue Baptist Church in Louisville, KY. He writes at Christian Book Notes.

Response From Wayne Stocks

When I first got the e-mail asking me to participate in the most recent Children’s Ministry Think Tank, my first thought was “I hope I am qualified, and I am certainly humbled to be in the company of the other writers in this series.” My second thought focused on the term “self-esteem” in the question. I was inclined to share my opinion on the psychologically created idol of self-esteem. I was all prepared to remind everyone that the Christian life is all about God and not about us. I was fashioning language to express the truths of how big God is and how small we are. I was looking up the verses about not esteeming ourselves (Romans 12:3) and how any esteem we have should come from God (James 4:10). Then I decided not to go down that route and instead answer the broader question “How do you teach the doctrine of sin to children?” I think the answer to that question will implicitly answer any issues of “self-esteem.”

An understanding of sin is foundational to the gospel. Without sin, there is no need for the cross. Without the cross and resurrection, there is no Christianity, and to paraphrase Paul, we are to pitied above all men. So, how do you teach the doctrine of sin to children?

I believe that it is essential that kids understand five different things about sin in order to really understand the concept of sin. Those are:

1. What is sin?
2. Where does it come from?
3. Who sins?
4. What are the consequences of sin?
5. What is the solution for sin?

PRACTICAL CONSIDERATIONS:

This post is already much longer than I had anticipated, so I will try to keep this short, but I think there are some practical considerations that should be taken into account when teaching elementary age children about sin.

First, at that age, kids tend to be literal thinkers. Although I think the concept of sin is natural to them (it is evident in their own lives), it is still a concept and the more concrete examples you can provide the better. That said, be careful not to overemphasize behaviors as sin and remember that sin is more about heart attitudes than the actual behavior which they manifest.

Secondly, repetition is key. The more you can reduce the concept to small “sound bites” and repeat those, the more likely they are to retain them. For example, an explanation of sin can be quite lengthy. This article is proof of that! But, if you boil it down to the minimum, sin is “Doing what we want to do instead of what God wants.” Use that phrase, or whatever you come up with, over and over. Have the kids repeat it with you. Even something as simple as “Everyone sins. Everyone!” can help to drive the point home when repeated over and over.

Thirdly, find ways to help kids internalize these ideas. Don’t just tell them that everybody sins, explain to them what sin is and have them come up with ways that they sin. Make a game show out of it. I can hear it now…. “Welcome to a brand new edition of ‘EVERYBODY SINS!’ Join us as we find out how normal everyday people have sinned this week.” The topic is serious, but the presentation can be fun and help the kids to internalize the concepts using examples from their own lives.

Next, I don’t think you can do justice to the idea of sin in one 30 minute teaching. Consider doing a series. You might consider a five part series dealing a little more in depth with each of the sections addressed above.

Finally, above all else, don’t underestimate kids. Don’t discount their ability to comprehend because they are small. I have a blog in which I address various issues related to Children’s Ministry, and I find this point coming up in virtually every article I write. If I could impress one thing on people about working with kids it is this – “they are capable of a lot more than we give them credit for!” The ideas they grasp, their simple take on complex concepts, their ability to comprehend, and their openness to ideas astound me more and more every week! Let me give you an example from my personal life. My son, who is now eight, was learning about sin and the cross. One night when he was four, my wife and I were having a particularly hard time with our teenage son, and I had lost my patience and started to yell. My five year old came up to me and said, “It’s OK Daddy, the devil made Josh’s heart black for now, but God wants to make it red again. He just needs to ask God to do it!” I’ll say it again…don’t underestimate their ability to comprehend!

PARENTAL REACTION

I have not gotten any feedback from parents as of yet on this issue, but I am a father of four children and in a position to talk about it from that perspective. I do know that many parents are somehow able to divorce the ideas of the Bible from their own kids in their minds. Parents don’t like to accept that their kids are sinners. How can that innocent little bundle of joy that they just brought home from the hospital actually be a depraved being steeped in sin since birth? If you’re going to teach kids about their sin and that everyone sins including their parents, you should be prepared for some feedback.

If you’re planning on doing a lesson or series with your kids on sin, it might be worthwhile to suggest to your pastor or leadership that the whole church have a bit of a refresher course on the topic. There are too many churches where the issue of sin and the consequences of sin are not giving nearly enough attention.

I think a lot of parents who do teach their kids about sin put too much focus on behavior. “You know lying to Mommy and Daddy is a sin.” or “Hitting little Billy is sin.” I know that I have been guilty of this in my own childrearing. I think we can help parents both on this issue, and in parenting in general, by steering them to issues of the heart. Finally, parents must understand that no matter what we teach kids at church on Sunday, ultimately the Christianity which their kids will likely live out is the Christianity they see their parents living Monday through Saturday!

Read more from Wayne on his blog “Dad in the Middle“

Response From Jeri Tanner

Great topic, and a truth that parents and other teachers should examine and wrestle with in Scripture if necessary, until it has been come to terms with. I’ve seen devastation in the lives of children and adults who haven’t grasped the implications of our depravity—our inability to please God apart from the work of Jesus Christ. We all need to comprehend more deeply our need for the Savior. And we need to understand why instructing our children in these truths, at the appropriate level for their age, can’t begin a moment too soon.

The doctrine of depravity, understood and taught correctly, will not damage a child’s self-esteem; in fact the opposite is true. This doctrine provides the only true hope for mankind, as it both explains what we see all around us and offers the solution for it. Apart from a firm grasp on the reason for our own sinful behavior and inclinations, we’ll turn to moralism and legalism as ways to transform behavior; ways that are surely doomed to fail! Helping our children to grasp the sweetness of the gospel of Christ in light of our stubborn opposition to God will cause us and them to know we are loved for eternity. That’s self-esteem worth having!

Of course, a two year old cannot grasp all this or its implications. But as children progress in maturity, the real dilemma of their souls can be understood more and more. As we share with them how we all were (and are) “in the same boat” with them, so to speak, children do not see their own badness in any untrue sense. Carefully and regularly teaching them the gospel, going back to the fall of our first parents in the Garden of Eden and God’s subsequent promise to send the one who would crush the serpent’s head and save us from our sins, should become the best news they have ever heard.

Parents in the church may not be familiar with these gospel truths themselves, and may be offended when we tell their children that apart from Christ there is no righteousness. I have sympathy for any distress brought about by it. Wisdom, patience, and humility are called for. The greatest ministry of the children’s department can be to parents, helping them grow in doctrine and godliness so that they can instruct their children in the things that lead to salvation.

Jeri is a wife, mom and member of Christ’s body in Trussville, AL. She is writes from Ministry-To-Children.com and serves the children in her local church.

Evangelizing Children Without Manipulation

Tony Kummer — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:03:56 +0000

Welcome to another session of the Children’s Ministry Think Tank. The aim is to get different perspectives and help everyone to learn (including me). Please read through the responses and share your own ideas below.

Evangelizing Children Without Manipulation

How should children’s ministry offer an urgent Gospel invitation without emotionally manipulating children? When does child evangelism cross the line and become abuse? What principles guide you in this area?

Response From Jared Kennedy

Last week, I read the following words from Henry Zonio (http://elementalcm.com) regarding evangelistic presentations for children:

The key… is to help connect children and families to Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to do the work of conversion. It’s more than just praying a prayer, raising a hand or coming to the altar. It’s about life transformation, and that is something that can’t be manufactured or manipulated into existence.

Henry is right. Real conversion—life transformation—can’t be manufactured or manipulated into existence. It is God’s work, not the work of a minister or parent. When we seek quick decisions from children, we are in danger of manipulation. So, in the spirit of Henry Zonio, here are some principles for avoiding manipulative evangelism.

1. Be clear. Little children think literally, and they can be confused by figurative language. Be simple and concrete. Stress the facts of the gospel. We are sinners (Romans 3:23), but Jesus took the punishment we deserve for our sins by dying on the cross (Galatians 3:13). We can trust him to make us right with God and be our friend and advocate (Romans 4:25; 1 John 2:1).

2. Encourage children to think about their sin. Teach kids about their personal need for the Savior. Don’t flatter or deceive children by teaching them that their nature is good. Instead, tenderly teach a child about his or her own failures. Point out the specific sins to which children are prone (greed, pride in performance, lying, disobedience to parents, etc.). Be tender but true. Then, pray that the Holy Spirit will use the truth to bring conviction to the child’s heart and conscience, and ultimately to give the gift of faith.

3. Call children to trust Jesus for salvation from sin—not just salvation from hell. Children are impressionable, so fear tactics about hell or platitudes about heaven are certainly manipulative and possibly abusive. It is not wrong to teach a child about hell as God’s just punishment of sin. It is not wrong to teach about heaven as a benefit of trusting Jesus. But we must be extremely careful not to play on a child’s emotions.

4. Call children to trust what Jesus has done to save—not just their personal experience with Jesus. When speaking about the gospel to children, our temptation is to focus on the child’s personal struggles with sin and obedience. We’ll focus on what God is “doing in me” now, rather than what God did for me on the cross. The gospel is NOT primarily about Jesus’ work in our heart but about Jesus’ work in history. While it is a Biblical truth that Christ is present with the Christian by his Spirit (Colossians 1:27; Ephesians 3:17), the work in our hearts is secondary. Over-emphasizing a change of heart can actually discourage a child. When a child becomes become aware of his or her sins, the child may become introspective and worry, “How can Jesus live in my heart when I still get so angry?”

5. Call children to trust Jesus with their whole life—not just “have a relationship” with him. We are sometimes very adept at reaching people on an emotional level, but our personal faith is more than an emotion. While it is not wrong for faith to move us on an emotional level, it is not as right as it could be. Salvation is not just saying yes to a relationship with Jesus. Rather, it is finally resting in Christ. This involves a life change—conviction, illumination, and regeneration –not merely a decision.

6. Call children to admit, confess, trust, pray, commit, decide, but don’t assure them that these things save. Leading a child in a “sinner’s prayer” may give the child false assurance. We must never give our children the impression that a prayer for mercy (a “sinner’s prayer”) guarantees their eternal destiny. It does not. Human hearts long to find assurance in things that we can manipulate – our own knowledge, emotional experiences, prayers, or our works. We must discourage children from seeking assurance in such things, and we must never give false assurances. False assurances are certainly abusive because they endanger a child’s soul—leading the child to believe he or she is a Christian when this may not be the case (Matthew 25:31-46).

Jared Kennedy is a husband, a father, and the Director of SojournKids (http://sojournkids.com), the Children’s Ministry of Sojourn Community Church in downtown Louisville, KY.

Response From Brenna Phillips

Child evangelism must be age appropriate. We must think and speak in ways in which children can understand and comprehend. If they best understand the ABC’s, then use the A-Admit, B-Believe, C-Choose model for sharing Christ with them. If they live in a region where there is a bridge that crosses over a river or lake, then explain the bridge metaphor of how water flows in the river, picking up pollutants (sin) along the riverbanks and from the ships but Jesus offers a bridge to cross over that sin to get to the other side.

The important aspect to remember when choosing a technique or method for child evangelism is to remember to be age-appropriate. And let the children take the first steps toward asking questions. If they begin asking the questions, then generally that shows they have been thinking and pondering the concept and are ready to move further in the discussions and decisions.

In my experiences in CM, I have not offered an “invitation” in children’s worship sessions. Children are too likely to follow their friends and do what they do. Things work out better if each child is discipled on a one-to-one basis. It is preferred when CM leaders observe children and through relationships with each child they have knowledge of when the Holy Spirit may be working in the heart of that child.

When I was in the 5th grade, my church showed a church-wide video on the second coming of Christ. The video was not age-appropriate for every member of the family so the church offered a young children’s class; however, it was more of a babysitting group so I didn’t want to go in there. I opted to stay in the video room with one of my best friends. After all, we were 5th graders; that’s almost youth age.

I don’t remember much about the video, except there was one scene where a young boy was holding a red balloon, then a guillotine come down, then the red balloon floated up in the air. Yikes! Now that’s abuse…scaring people into choosing Christ.

Choosing Jesus’ way should not come out of guilt or manipulation. It should come from children having a full understanding of Jesus’ involvement in their lives and Him drawing them into a personal relationship. We must reach others as Jesus reach them, including children. We must teach that Jesus is the Way. He’s the only way. He’s the gentle way. We must teach Jesus as He taught people. He was gentle. He was kind. Scriptural examples of Jesus interacting with children show Him loving, playing, and relating to them on their levels, not pressuring or manipulating them.

Response From Glen Woods

There is an important principle I have learned in witnessing to people of all ages for many years. The Holy Spirit is far better at convicting sinners of sin than we can ever achieve. Whether I am speaking to a crowd of adults, a crowd of children, or individuals of any age, I ask God to help me be a vessel of grace, rather than trying to do the Spirit’s job for him. This is especially important in the urban and equally modern/postmodern context in which I minister in Portland, Oregon. Also, I recognize that both those parents who attend my local church regularly and those unchurched parents who allow me the privilege of teaching their children have entrusted me and my staff to treat their offspring with respect.

In the early centuries, both in Europe, and later in the fledgling USA, revivalists called the people back to their roots, back to the faith they had abandoned. True, some had never given much thought to their spiritual heritage for a long while, but they had at least some background to understand the biblical stories. Even as late as the Billy Graham era we saw this dynamic in effect. But increasingly, the culture is changing. No longer can we assume that families and individuals have a biblical understanding of faith matters, even if they do not practice it. They do not know the basic stories. Many know Jesus only in the context of cursing, or as a baby during Christmas, or a slain itinerant teacher at Easter time. They have no faith to which we can call them home.

So then, emotional appeals to children to follow Jesus might succeed in getting them to raise their hands because they somehow perceive that is the desired response. But does it represent the birth of faith in a life? Does it indicate that a child has begun the process of following Jesus as a disciple, trusting him fully for salvation based on his righteousness, not theirs? I understand some of the objections which might be raised to my statement. Some might say, “Glen, you are making it too difficult. Just teach a child the basic truths of the gospel and then ask them to respond in faith. A child does not require a full understanding of all the nuances of doctrinal matters.” And I agree. But we cannot assume that every child understands to the same degree on their own.

As to the question about abuse, I think that any time an adult places his hands on a child and is emotionally praying over them to the point of placing pressure on their forehead, and speaking in glossalia without any interpretation (an unbiblical practice which I have seen over the years), and thereby causing them to cry and often become confused, that is a red flag. I have seen this particularly in the Pentecostal/charismatic tradition of which I am a part. As a peer of these fellow laborers, I ask that they take a second look at their techniques and ask themselves if what they are doing is healthy for the child, much less obedient to Christ.

Likewise, I think that emotional group appeals to children that refer to Christ denying them if they refuse to stand up and follow him are unnecessary and manipulative. I will allow that there may be appropriate times for such statements when dealing with mature adults, especially those who understand the gospel but are not necessarily living it.

Over the years, I have veered away from group appeals, and now concentrate on small group or one-on-one discussions. I use every possible opportunity to have a believing child explain the gospel to other children. They often are more effective because they use a common vernacular to their peers. And they keep it simple.

Children desire to please adults, especially those they care about. The older they get, the more concerned about perceptions of their peers. If we try to manipulate them through emotions, public displays of angst, or even embarrassing them, typically it will hamper, rather than help our intended purpose.

The gospel is an urgent matter. The better prepared we are to remove obstacles such as outmoded cultural preferences from our religious backgrounds, the more effective we will be in communicating the hope of Jesus to the unchurched lost who have never heard the gospel, and who do not have the advantage of a Christian heritage. Many are quite spiritual, especially those with postmodern mind sets. But theirs often is a spirituality based on media, good feelings, and being a nice person. What they need is to be immersed in the grand redemptive story of God through Jesus Christ, and his love for all people.

Glen Woods is a Children’s Pastor and warehouseman in Portland, Oregon. He writes at Children’s Ministry Conversation.

How Can I Know If My Child Is Really Saved?

Tony Kummer — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:38:28 +0000

For Christian parents, few concerns are more pressing than the salvation of their children. I’ve know many parents who struggle to know if their kids are saved. In this post I want to share my best advice for parents. Please feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts.

How Can I Tell If A Child Is Saved?

The truth is simple to say but hard to accept. We can’t be 100% certain until we get to heaven. A person’s relationship with God is deeply private and too easy to fake. This is especially true for kids who want to earn their parents approval. But we can look for evidence of conversion in a child’s life.

The first and best evidence is the child’s statement of believe in Jesus. Has the child said they trust Christ for salvation and is seeking to follow Him. Once that is the case, here are some more things we should encourage and try to discern:

Does the child show a growing love for God?
Does the child demonstrate love and concern for others?
Does the child have a growing appreciation for God’s grace?
Is the child learning to pray and spend time alone with God?
Does the child have a sense of their own sinfulness?
Does the child demonstrate new spiritual desires?
Does the child continue in their faith over time?

For more great questions, check out this post from Justin Taylor’s blog listing questions to ask your child about their spiritual development.

This is not an exhaustive list, but it’s a starting point. My concern is always to encourage kids to take steps of faith toward God. Even if they seem very young, I urge them to trust Jesus Christ as much as they are able.

How Do You Know If A Child Is Saved?

The comment section below is open for you to share your thoughts. What things would you add to my list? What are some resources that you have found helpful on this topic?

Don’t Miss the Gospel When Sharing Jesus With Kids

Tony Kummer — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 12:53:29 +0000

Recently I attended an event at another church for children. They had a special speaker who entertained the children with demonstrations of physical strength (breaking objects etc.) and then began to preach. He was good speaker and the children listened carefully to what he said. There was only one problem …

He never really preached the Gospel. He told the children to respond by “asking Jesus to forgive them” but he never told what Jesus had done to save them.

While I think this man meant well – he actually failed to mention the righteous life, sin removing death, or victorious resurrection of Christ. In effect, forgiveness was offered without telling us what we need to believe about Jesus! It was Christianity without the cross.

This is something to guard against in all our teaching. We must never preach Jesus without his cross because the atonement is our only hope of being accepted before God. It is the message about the cross that we are commanded to believe in order to be saved.

I really like this short Gospel summary by Mark Dever:

“The good news is that the one and only God, who is holy, made us in His image to know Him. But we sinned and cut ourselves off from Him. In His great love, God became man in Jesus, lived a perfect life, and died on the cross, thus fulfilling the law Himself and taking on Himself the punishment for the sins of all those who would ever turn and trust in Him. He rose again from the dead, showing that God accepted Christ’s sacrifice and that God’s wrath against us had been exhausted. He now calls us to repent of our sins and to trust in Christ alone for our forgiveness. If we repent of our sins and trust in Christ, we are born again into a new life, an eternal life with God.”

In our children’s ministry we use a very simple Gospel outline called “Who Will Be King?” It tells the whole story of the Gospel in a way that children can easily understand. You can go and learn this presentation for yourself. It will help you to get the Gospel right. You can also download a series of 8 Sunday school lessons based on this Gospel outline. There are many more ideas on using “Who Will Be King?”

The Gospel In Colors – The Wordless Book

Tony Kummer — Thu, 28 May 2009 20:49:55 +0000

One of the best ways to share the Gospel with kids is the wordless book. It’s a series of colors that can be used to explain the Gospel.

I was surprised to learn that many believe that Charles Spurgeon originated the wordless book idea. Later is was used by several early Evangelical Missionaries. You can find a good summary of it on Kidology and read about it’s history on Wikipedia.

Do You Use The Wordless Book?

If you have used this approach to sharing the Gospel with children, then leave a comment below. Let us know what setting and how it turned out. Have you seen many children come to Christ through this explanation?

What Is Your Church’s Policy About Baptizing Children?

Tony Kummer — Tue, 12 May 2009 10:36:15 +0000

This post continues a new feature called Children’s Ministry Think Tank. The aim is to get different perspectives and help everyone to learn (including me). Please read through the responses and share your own ideas below.

Think Tank #2 Questions About Baptism & Kids

What is your church’s policy about baptizing kids? Is there any age absolutely too young? If you had to pick a “typical” or “ideal” age what would you say? What happens when a kid comes back for re-baptism as a teen?

Response From Glen Woods

In my church we practice believer’s baptism. By that I mean that the persons being baptized are doing so as an expression of their choice to follow Jesus Christ, trusting him for their salvation. While many of our parishioners come from backgrounds which practice infant baptism, we graciously affirm believer’s baptism as our theological and practical conviction.

As a result, we generally (there are exceptions) do not even entertain a child being baptized until they are at least eight or nine years old. If the child is in a believing home, then we are more open to younger children (7-10 years old) being baptized, understanding that it really is a borderline form of infant baptism which requires integral parental support. Even then, we interview each child to ascertain readiness. We also dialogue with their parents about it. I have personally found the Step-by-Step resource by Art Murphy of Arrow Ministries to be helpful in learning how to determine the readiness of a child for water baptism. http://www.arrowministries.com/store/index.php?l=product_detail&p=4 Accessed: 6 May 2009.

I hesitate to suggest an optimum age for water baptism because each child is unique. Some children will be ready at the age of eight, others a few years later, and still others will be better off waiting until their mid-teen to late teen years. The key is to determine why they want to be baptized. Is it a matter of obedience to God’s command and a desire to follow Jesus? Is it a question of pleasing parents and other family members? Do they want to do it because their friends have done it? Is it seen in the family as more of a cultural rite of passage than a sacred act of obedience? I also try to determine their level of higher reasoning, and their ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality. For example, is Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as real as their Mom and Dad for them? Then they may need to wait awhile. In these cases I am always positive, pointing out that soon they will be baptised, but not quite yet.

If a person desires to be baptized a second time after being baptized as an infant, or as an older child, I again try to determine the rationale, the motive. In my church, we would not require or even suggest that second baptism is necessary. Other groups in the believer’s baptism stream of tradition differ with this view, as is their prerogative. Yet, if a person sincerely believes that a second baptism is a matter of obedience to God, then I am sure we would entertain the possibility. I believe there have been a few instances where this has occurred. On a closing note, I encourage those in the believer’s baptism camp to remember God’s involvement in the water baptism. It seems to me that there is something more going on than a mere outward assent to an inward work. It is not merely symbolic, in my view. If we consider Jesus’ baptism, we see Jesus being an example for us in all things in terms of obedience, humility, dying to self, pleasing the Father, and publically staking his claim in the face of state-sponsored idolatry, thereby putting his life at heightened risk (the same was true for the disciples in the first century, and for many new believers in the Majority world today; we in the West have a very hard time relating to the risk which water baptism generates for increased persecution). The Father manifested audibly from heaven in that event while the Holy Spirit appeared in the form of a dove. God was invested in Jesus’ baptism. I believe he also is directly involved in the baptism of each and every believer who submits to this act of obedience.

Glen Woods is a Children’s Pastor and warehouseman in Portland, Oregon. He writes at Children’s Ministry Conversation.

Response From Jared Kennedy

It is a joy to speak with parents that desire to tell the gospel to their kids and encourage their faith. There are lots of tensions that weigh on our hearts when we approach the issue of childhood baptism and church membership. With parents, we long to see our children saved and not discouraged. We also long to have a policy that will not compromise our church’s witness to the culture by accepting and baptizing a child too quickly. Sojourn has put together a full policy booklet that helps parents navigate these tensions. You can download it here [ http://sojournkids.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/childhood-baptism.pdf].

Here is our policy in brief:

Sojourn strongly recommends that parents wait until their child is at least twelve years old before presenting them for a baptism interview. This is a recommendation and not a mandate. Children will be interviewed, and their readiness for baptism will be considered on a case-by-case basis. We recognize that the New Testament example is for baptism upon a valid profession of faith. Therefore, baptism ought to follow conversion immediately upon the appearance of discernable signs of conversion. Time, however, is sometimes the only course of action for determining, as much as is humanly possible, the validity of a child’s profession of faith in Christ. For this reason, we strongly advise parents to wait. Evidence of faith often becomes clearer as the child grows and shows the fruit of a changed heart.
Conversion is God’s work in the believer. It is not simply a decision on the believer’s part. We strongly encourage parents to look for evidences or signs of conversion (such as conviction of sin, understanding of truth, and a renewed life in their child before presenting him or her for baptism.
Since parents are responsible for instructing their children and overseeing their spiritual development, it is imperative that the church teach, instruct, and guide parents in this task. Parents of seeking children are paired with a representative from Sojourn’s leadership,who meets with these parents to discuss the tensions involved in discerning a child’s heart. Parents are also be paired with mentors-typically parents with children who have been through the process before-who will counsel and advise the parents as they seek to lead their children in spiritual things.
Over a period of time, the seeking child is led by his or her parents through a study that clarifies the gospel such as Who Will Be King by Matthias Media, A Catechism for Boys and Girls by Reformation Trust Today, or something similar.
At the conclusion of this study, the child meets for an interview (or series of interviews) with his or her parents, the parents’ mentors, and a representative from Sojourn’s leadership. The purpose of these studies is for the mentors and leadership representative meeting with the child and parents to discern if the child understands and has embraced the gospel. During these meetings, the pastoral and mentorship team also help the child to craft a testimony which, as with all baptism candidates, is read at the baptism service.
Mentors and parents then jointly present the child to the elders for church membership and participation in the ordinances at the conclusion of their teaching/mentorship meetings.
If the elders are convinced that a child has given evidence of a genuine conversion, the child is baptized and accepted into the fellowship and discipline of the church. The child, under the authority of his or her parents, is without voting responsibilities until the age of eighteen.
At the age of eighteen, the child attends Sojourn’s membership classes and interviews, like adult candidates for membership, with an elder. The voting responsibilities given to adult members are exercised only after the completion of this interview.

Given our policy, most young people are not baptized until their teens though many come to faith at an earlier age. We do not believe in re-baptism, but, if the teen, his parents, and Sojourn’s elders believe that a previous baptism occurred before the child was genuinely converted, we would allow the teen to participate in a second baptism service and receive a true baptism as a believer.

Jared Kennedy is a husband, a father, and the Director of SojournKids (http://sojournkids.com), the Children’s Ministry of Sojourn Community Church in downtown Louisville, KY.

Response From Brenna Phillips

The ideal age for children to be baptized is the age of understanding, approximately ages 7-10, the age in which children understand the concept of a Spiritual water burial and being raised to a new life in Christ.

During those elementary years, children have gotten acclimated to school and have worked through recent transitional periods, such as preschool to kindergarten to grade school, therefore, easing the Spiritual transition. At this mid-elementary school age, they are able to understand more difficult concepts. However, the Bible states that people must come with “faith as a child” so the concept of salvation and baptism is not completely out of reach for a young child.

Parents and Children’s ministry leaders must allow children to begin the question process towards baptism. When they begin asking questions that shows they are beginning to think and understand salvation and baptism. At that point, leaders must ask children open-ended questions and let them explain the process and the concept back to them. If they can explain it, they understand it and know the reason behind their decision.

If a child who was baptized as a child and comes back during the teen years for re-baptism, churches must spend time with this teen, asking questions about his first experience. Through a relationship, the CM leader will be able to determine if this teen is asking questions regarding re-baptism or re-dedication. Through a personal discipleship program, study, and discipleship with others, one can strengthen his/her Spiritual walk.

Response From Terry Delaney

While we do not have an explicit written policy for baptizing children, we, as a staff, are extremely cautious when it comes to baptizing children. When we talk to the children, we make certain that they understand first what the gospel is. That is that God created us good but we rebelled. Consequently, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to live the perfect, sinless life that we cannot. Yet, He still paid the penalty for sin through His death on the cross. On the third day after His death, God raised Jesus from the dead. He then lived on the Earth 40 more days and ascended into heaven. Through our faith in Christ’s work on the cross and the repentance of our sins, we will be saved.

Second, and this is extremely difficult because of its subjective nature, we make sure that the child understands his or her need for the gospel. Here, we look for an acute awareness of their sin. The problem we have discovered is that repentance becomes a means to an end–baptism. Most of the children I have talked with want to be baptized because, for them, it is a status symbol. I have counseled a couple kids who knew the right words to say, but it was obvious that it was only head knowledge. However, I am talking to a young lady right now who has been asking more and more questions and becoming more and more aware of her need for repentance. Even in her case, she views baptism as a status symbol.

Third, we strive to teach that the baptism itself does not save. I have been known to say that there will be many “drying off in hell” because they put their faith in their baptism and not in Christ alone. We teach that baptism is an outward action to an inward change.

Finally, we watch to see if there is a life change in the child’s life. If anything, I would say that I personally am more cautious because I want to protect against a false sense of security. I come at it this way because I thought (and believed) I was saved and going to heaven until I was 23 years old and God graciously showed me I was neither.

I do not think there is an age too young–assuming we are not discussing infant baptism but believer’s baptism. I think each child’s readiness for baptism must be judged based on Scripture and his or her individual situation and context. However, this is why I personally hold off on baptizing children so that in 10 years they are not coming back to “rededicate” their lives to Christ. Insofar as I am able, I want those children being baptized to be a true son or daughter of God.

Terry Delaney is the Children’s Minister at Carlisle Avenue Baptist Church in Louisville, KY. He writes at Christian Book Notes.

How Do You Teach Kids To Be Saved?

Tony Kummer — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 13:34:24 +0000

This post launches a new feature called Children’s Ministry Think Tank. I have asked several friends in children’s ministry to join the project. About twice each month, I will email them tough questions and post their answers here on the website. My aim is to get different perspectives and help everyone to learn (including me).

Please read through the responses and share your own ideas below.

Think Tank Question #1

Jon is an 8 year old boy with little church background. He’s been coming to your children’s programs for several weeks. One day he sticks around and seems like he wants to talk. He says, “I don’t want to go to hell, how can I be saved?” How would you respond?

Response From Brenna Phillips

There are some missing factors with this question. Who has been bringing Jon to church? Is he attending with a parent? Is he attending with a friend? Is he attending by a bus ministry? Or is he simply walking to church by himself?

Since Jon has been attending church for several weeks, then a relationship should have begun between him and the CM leaders. From at least week 2 of a child’s attendance, leaders in the ministry should begin to talk to each child in the group to find out their interests, activities, education, and family, anything to gain more knowledge into his life to know how to plan each week’s lessons to meet needs.

The CM leader needs to sit down with Jon and the person responsible for bringing him to church. A relationship should have begun with the parent; therefore, he/she is familiar with the leader and feels comfortable talking to him/her. Tell the parent about Jon’s question. Go through the ABC plan of salvation with both of them:

Admit you are a sinner.
Believe in Jesus as Savior.
Choose to follow Jesus.

Emphasize the fact that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life to Heaven. Emphasize the benefits and good points of having a relationship with Jesus and that Heaven is the end result. Instead of scaring him out of Hell, we want him to enjoy Jesus and Heaven.

If Jon has been attending with a friend, the CM leader needs to talk with the friend’s parent about Jon’s family. How receptive are they to his spiritual relationship? Plan to visit Jon’s family with the friend’s parent and let them know about Jon’s inquiry.

If Jon has been attending via bus ministry, the CM leader needs to inform the bus captain of Jon’s question. Ask from where he is picked up and plan a visit to the family with the bus captain.

If Jon has been attending by walking to church on his own, the CM leader should have already found some information about him and from where he comes and lives. When Jon asks this important question, the leader needs to sit down and talk to him about the benefits and good points of Heaven and explain the ABC’s of salvation. Then plan a visit to Jon’s home; although, since he has been attending church for several weeks, he should have already attempted to contact the family.

Overall, relationships should have already begun with each person involved in Jon’s attendance at church since he has been attending for several weeks. The more CM leaders know about a child’s life, interests, activities, and family will help them to minister in appropriate ways and meet needs. Children and families are more comfortable when leaders have shown an interest in their lives.

Additionally, the CM leader should not be the only person involved in leading Jon. There are other leaders as well: small group leader, parents of friends. Since Jon has been attending for several weeks, each person can have an impact on his spiritual journey and can be involved in the discussion.

Response From Glen Woods

Response: I would begin by asking a couple of open-ended questions of the boy, and then listening to him. First I would ask what “going to hell” means in his understanding. Is it simply a phrase used in cursing others, as some of the kids I deal with on the streets of Portland might believe? Or is there a deeper meaning which has to do with what can happen after we die? Then I would ask what he means by “being saved.” I would want to determine his level of understanding concerning God’s redemptive plan and what that means for him personally.

So it might go something like this. Boy: “I don’t want to go to hell. How can I be saved?” Me: “You’re telling me you don’t want to go to hell. Can you help me understand what that means for you?” Then the boy gives his explanation, possibly with some degree of accuracy and including a warning that we must be saved to avoid hell, likely mixed in with some confusion depending on who has been influencing him daily. Me: “So you have heard that going to hell is for people who aren’t saved. I am wondering, what do you think being saved means?” The boy explains, again with some accuracy mixed with error and a whole lot of uncertainty.

After letting the boy share his understanding, I would then prepare to share the gospel in a way he can understand. If he is highly verbal, I may handle it primarily in a verbal way. But if I determine he would benefit from a different approach, I could do it with play, using puppets or action figures at my disposal. Either way, I would explain, or show (my preference is to show so that the child can play it over again at home) in
simple terms what sin is (disobedience to God) and how it all got started (Adam and Eve), what God decided to do about sin and why (redemption through the sinless sacrifice of Jesus Christ because of his love for us), and what we can do to accept this free gift (repent of sin by saying we are sorry and meaning it so much that we want to stop doing it, believe Jesus died and rose again for our sins in our place, and follow Jesus as Lord from now on by wanting to do what he asks).

Glen Woods is a Children’s Pastor and warehouseman in Portland, Oregon. He writes at Children’s Ministry Conversation.

Response From Jared Kennedy

I would ask Jon a lot of questions—trying to get a sense of whether or not he understands that he is a sinner in need of the Savior. I would respond by stressing the facts of the gospel. In this kind of a situation, I typically emphasize God’s laws and commands for children (obeying parents, not lying, etc.)–praying that the Holy Spirit will use this teaching to bring Jon to conviction about his sin (Deut 6). Exploring what Jon is learning about hell can be helpful when helping him understand the seriousness of his sin. Then, I would speak plainly about God’s gospel promises and Jon’s need to turn away from sin and trust Christ (Acts 2:38-39), whose death and resurrection count for him (Rom 5:8). Finally, I would encourage Jon to pray—confessing his sins and confessing trust in Jesus.

I recognize that children are easily deceived and manipulated (Ephesians 4:14). Just like adults, they are often tempted to find assurance of salvation in things they can manipulate—their own knowledge, emotional experiences, prayers, or good works. Children must be discouraged from finding assurance in such things and encouraged to trust only Jesus. I would be careful not to not offer such false assurances or pressure Jon for a commitment. I would not assure Jon that his prayer for mercy (his “sinner’s prayer”) guarantees that he will go to heaven. It does not. Salvation is God’s work. I would assure Jon that Jesus promises to save those who trust him, and I’d encourage him to keep trusting Jesus for his whole life. I would not be skeptical about Jon’s sincerity. While I don’t want to give Jon a false sense of security, I also don’t want to discourage him from trusting Jesus.

If a child from an under-churched family speaks with one of our children’s ministry workers about the gospel, they have been trained to let the SojournKids leadership know so we can meet with and explain the gospel clearly to the child’s parents. I would let Jon’s parents know about the questions he is asking. I would encourage this family to come back to our regular church gatherings, and I would seek to build a deeper relationship with them. God saves sinners through exposure to His preached and taught word. Many parents come to Christ because the Lord first works in their kids.

Jared Kennedy is a husband, a father, and the Director of SojournKids (http://sojournkids.com), the Children’s Ministry of Sojourn Community Church in downtown Louisville, KY.

What Would You Say?

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Searching For Lost Lambs

Tony Kummer — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:56:51 +0000

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In a few minutes, I’ll head out for some afternoon evangelistic visits. Today, I’ll be making the rounds in a nearby trailer park. Our ministry serves several lower income children from that neighborhood. These kids often come on the bus, and their parents almost never come with them.

I don’t get out there very often, four times each year. Ministering to these families has been one of the best and worst aspects of my job. I consider it a great privilege to share Jesus with these kids. Their lives are often upside down. So much about their situation is working against them – poverty, unstable housing, family dysfunction and a dangerous neighborhood.

But it is a hard ministry. Our church has been serving this particular part of town for twenty years. Not much changes. Too often families move in-and-out in a matter of months. It is very rare that we see any spiritual growth. When they come to church, many of these children lack basic self-control and create behavioral problems. When they reach the teen years they stop coming, and often turn their backs on all we’ve tried to teach them.

Sometimes, it just seems like a lost cause.

Today, God is reminding me that my own story is not so different. Looking back, I had plenty of negative influences in my life as well. There were churches that tried to reach out to me, but with no effect. When the time came, I followed hard after the world and was far from God in every way.

But God’s love is an active thing. He came into my spiritual slums and was not discouraged by my cold responses. He sent Christians into my life to love me even when I looked unlovable. At the end of the day, Jesus didn’t give up. He didn’t write me off as a lost cause.

“The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)

I take that as a promise. Jesus is not just about seeking – he came to finish the job. He wasn’t just looking for lost sheep, he found them. The good shepherd is not giving up.

Today, I am praying with hope. I believe that God can and will make a difference in the lives of those children. I’m asking God to use me to find some lost lambs this afternoon.

Father’s Day & Kids Who Have Lost Their Dad