Ministry-To-Children.com » Encouragement & Vision

What Do Kids Really Think About Your Ministry?

Mimi Bullock — Wed, 16 May 2012 12:27:25 +0000

A few years ago, I was asked a question that radically changed the way I operated my children’s ministry. (Nothing like a change of perspective to adjust your viewpoint, just look at Ezekiel; I’m thankful that at least, God didn’t have to tug me by the hair to get my attention.)

A kids’ ministry conference speaker asked the gathered teachers a question: “What do kids think about your children’s ministry?” Some of us laughed nervously, others looked puzzled. The question seemed simple but I honestly didn’t know. I promised myself to find out.

I knew what I wanted kids to think about the ministry – and me. I wanted them to know I loved them, that God loved them and that living for Him was a wonderful lifetime experience. Seemed simple enough. I tested the waters by making a special collection box and placed it in the welcome area in the kids’ church. I asked children to tell me what they thought about their kids’ church by writing me anonymous notes.

Here’s what I heard:

“I like the snacks. I like the games too. Sometimes I want to play games but my teacher won’t let me.”
“I wish I knew how to pray better. I like children’s church. I like the music.”

I found those answers revealing. They seemed okay but then I read these:

“I don’t understand sometimes but my teacher is nice. I really like the pictures she shows us.”
“I wish we had more crafts and stuff. I like making things.”
“My friend won’t come back because he thinks church is stupid. He thinks I’m stupid too.”

WOW! Next as the speaker suggested, I took a walk around kids’ church. Instead of thinking like an adult, I tried to imagine having a kids’ perspective. My friendly kids’ church was not completely kid-friendly.

Posters and decorations were too high on the wall. No kid could comfortably see them. Over time, kids ignore rules posters unless you moved them around.
My room needed color – and a decorating upgrade! It was time to paint over Bugs Bunny and change a few things.
It wasn’t easy to navigate. First timers felt overwhelmed for a reason, there was no clear direction for them to follow. We had a welcome area, game area, teaching area and lots of extra spots but first time visitors might find all these confusing. I needed clear signs.

Next, I reviewed the kids’ written comments. I added instructions to our prayer time roster. I enlisted help gathering ideas for crafts. I dealt with the peer pressure some of my kids felt by bringing them the Word. (“Only a fool says in his heart that there is no God.”)

As a kids’ ministry leader, it is our responsibility to think like a kid. Working the daily or weekly ministry grind can make you forget who you are trying to reach. Thinking like a kid, learning what kids really think about my children’s church helped me become a better teacher. I suggest everyone give it a try. It could change everything!

When Children Leave Your Ministry

Mimi Bullock — Fri, 11 May 2012 12:35:26 +0000

Children love freely with complete abandon and without thought for tomorrow – so do many children’s ministers. How can you avoid caring for the ones God cares for? Watching children grow in God, seeing the light come on during a lesson; these things make us love our kids even more. I know how it feels; pouring your heart into a young life, helping him become the giant God intended him to be, just to see him leave.

When children leave your ministry, you’ll feel angry, sad and even discouraged, especially if the child leaves unexpectedly. Don’t be hard on yourself for these feelings. It’s quite natural to experience spiritual grief; however, you cannot allow these feelings to develop into deep-seeders like bitterness or unforgiveness. Shutting yourself off, refusing to connect with children or families is not a solution either. The true, healthy mending of a children’s minister’s broken heart begins by adapting a God’s-eye perspective.

Remember these two truths when struggling with heartbreak in kids’ ministry. Use them as steps, read and remember them. Healing a broken heart may not happen in a moment, but it will happen. God loves you and is grateful for your service. Study to get a deeper understanding of His trust — and yours.

God trusts you. He intervenes in the life of a child, directing him or her to your ministry. God completely trusts you to provide human hugs, teach His Word and demonstrate worship. Like you, your child is walking a unique path and it is directed by God. Despite parents, grandparents, schools or any other influence – through your prayers, the hand of God is on the life of your children. God trusts you to pray fervently on behalf of your kids.

God wants you to trust Him. When you have done all you can do, it is time to step back and let God do the rest. I think of it like this: I see a child’s life as a line, from point A to point B. I am merely a stop on the line, usually closer to A then B. I guide the child to the finish line or at least the next stop. God trusts me to let go, when it’s time, to blow the whistle and shout, “Run, with all your might!” His Word says, “Some plant, some water, some harvest.” It’s not up to us to choose which of these we are allowed to do. God is the Lord of the Harvest. We are His laborers. Letting go is hard but letting go in God is healing.

Practical Steps for Letting Go

Assure the child that all is well. Encourage him on his race. Put on a happy face, for his sake.
Release him to the Lord in prayer. Demonstrate your trust, exercise your faith. Tell the Lord, in private, that you release him. Ask God to bless him, protect him and promptly send another servant to minister to him.
Receive God’s peace. Don’t get bogged down with worry. Other children need you! Ask God for peace, His peace to comfort and assure you. He won’t mind, He loves you.
Support the family’s decision, even if you disagree with it. Don’t allow them to burn any bridges. Be kind and helpful. If they do desire to return, they won’t have any obstacles in their way.
Be an example to your other children. They look to you to define how they should feel.

From one children’s minister to another, I encourage you to continue loving children. Resist the temptation to withdraw emotionally – you are not your own!

11 Tips for Serving a Small Country Church

Kristin Charles — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 18:23:38 +0000

If your students are die-hard John Deere advocates, then you might serve in a small country church. If you have a homegrown cow in your freezer, then you might serve in a small country church. If your students come to church in boots and buckles and have guns and know how to use them, then you might serve in a small country church. If your newborn son is heralded as the “County’s Own Dairy Baby”, then yes. You are serving in a small country church!

Ten years ago, I stepped into the doors of a whole new world with a steeple, high on a lush green hill. I was newly married and hailing from the city; just outside of Seoul, South Korea to be exact. I was accustomed to taxis, busses, subways, and my own two feet to navigate through the city. Of course, Korea was a culture shock at first, but I had prepared for that. Little did I know, moving to the country would be more of one.

In those first few months, I learned that you can make your own pickles and jam. (Never in my life did I know that people did this.) I learned that you don’t say you’re a vegetarian around cattle farmers. I learned that people sew with a sewing machine. I learned about 4-H and dairy princesses and cowboys.

I have also learned that a people’s economic level does not determine generosity. I have learned that there is a seasoned faith that comes with living off of the land and trusting God to provide in ways that we cannot. I have learned wisdom from the aged and look forward to getting those grey hairs myself.

This small country church is no longer foreign to me. It is home. However, it is uniquely home. A country church children’s ministry is going to look completely different from ministries in the suburbs or the city. If you are ministering in this unique environment, I pray that the following characteristics and considerations will be beneficial to you.

Unique Characteristics of a Small Country Church:

A close-knit community; everyone knows everybody else
Often very traditional and conservative
Multiple family generations are represented
Little to no budget allocated for ministries
Fewer programs (and similar advantages)
Fewer volunteers
Little diversity
Likely has deep roots in the community
Church members are a hard-working and generous people
Wary about change

11 Tips for Serving in this Setting:

Take Charge: If a ministry does not exist – and it needs to – you may be the one to start it.
Be Aware: Sin is prevalent as much in the country as it is in the city. Take security measures and precautions accordingly to protect each child in your ministry.
Effect Change Slowly: Work with the church and not against it. We have a whole article with ideas for dealing with stubborn people.
Draw on Unique Church Family Dynamics: Have a farmer tell and demonstrate the parable of the soils. Offer cooking, sewing, woodworking, and outdoors classes for kids. Provide opportunities for homeschoolers to get together such as field trips, workshops, and co-ops.
Teach on Location: Use unique settings for lessons such as a field, barn, stream, hiking trail, hill, forest, camp, etc. Connect the location to scripture.
Don’t Assume Anything: Many children in this setting have been raised in the church. They know the language and the Bible trivia. However, some of them do not have relationships with Christ. Continue to teach salvation and discipleship.
Incorporate Multi-Generational Ministry: Use retired teachers to work in children’s ministry. Enlist the elderly in a vibrant prayer ministry. Start a pen pal ministry for children and shut-ins. Make cookies, cards, or crafts for the young or old. Go caroling at any time of the year.
Get Creative with the Budget (or Lack Thereof): Use free lesson plans, do supply drives, recycle, talk to larger churches about using their curriculum when they are finished, and ask local businesses for donations.
Set a Healthy Pace: Most likely, small country church ministry leaders are volunteers and have full-time jobs elsewhere. Establish priorities, find balance, and don’t go this alone!
Encourage Diversity: Through books, media presentations, day trips, child sponsorship relationships, or mission trips, teach your students how to relate to others of varying cultures and backgrounds.
Make Sundays Count: Many children and their families are not able to attend mid-week services due to long distance drives and the price of gas. Capitalize on the time that they are there!

If you have served in a small country church, we would love to hear your feedback. What considerations have you made that have been helpful to your ministry? Thank you for sharing!

10 Things Christian Teachers Should Expect

Mimi Bullock — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 17:56:38 +0000

Christian teachers teach all the time, whether they know it or not. I think to keep teaching fun, God provides us the occassional “aha” or teaching moment. It’s our job to recognize those windows of opportunity to unite kids with their God and a greater understanding of the faith. Besides these golden moments, Christian teachers should expect a few other things. If you’ve decided to teach children or have been teaching for a long time, review these 10 things Christian teachers should expect.

1) Expect some sleepness nights. If you were just teaching ABCs and 123s you could work hard and then lay down peacefully for a good night’s sleep. However, your teaching is meant to win and keep souls, a bigger responsibility than providing basic education, although that’s a huge one. From experience, praying for kids is a constant responsibility that can cost you sleep. It’s worth it to know you’ve done all!

2) Expect to be different. You are unique and not like any other teacher. Expect your differences and special qualities to become more apparent during your tenure as a teacher.

3) Expect to give loads of hugs. Kids are affectionate and loving. All children really want is love. They will forgive the awkward lesson and forgotten snack, as long as you show them how much you care.

4) Expect God-ordained teaching moments. I mentioned this already but it bears repeating. Toss out the lesson when these moments arrive. Go with the Spirit!

5) Expect to find hidden skills in others. As a leader, you’ll have to learn how to find hidden skils in volunteers. For example, if a helper is a good singer, move her towards helping with worship. If he’s good with inpsirational games, nudge the volunteer toward planning some activities. Expect to help people find their place.

6) Be prepared, always. Have a go-to lesson, or two, ready for emergencies. People get sick, life emergencies happen. If you have to fill in for a teacher, you won’t have to worry.

7) Don’t segregate yourself with the kids. Seek fellowship with adults regularly.

8) Expect to say, “No” occasionally. This means to kids, parents and staff. You need time off too.

9) Expect to invest in your ministry. I have worked with different size churches with different budgets. There have been times when I’ve created curriculum on a shoestring budget. There’s also times when money was not a problem. Regardless, you should expect to invest in your ministry. Buy tools for yourself that will help you teach like a day planner or some special software.

10) Expect to share. If you don’t have enough for the whole class, keep it tucked away. Don’t eat or snack in front of kids without sharing. Sharing sets a good example for the kids you are destined to reach.

Read more from Mimi by visiting her blog, Encouragement for Christians.

Build Preteen Relationships with Events

Guest Writer — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 13:50:14 +0000

**This is a guest post from Nick Diliberto from PreteenMinistry.net

I remember one of our first over-the-top preteen events. We named it Nick at Night and it was held on a Friday night. It was a clever name because my name is Nick and the event included lots of Nickelodeon style-games. We rented water inflatables and played games like slime dodge ball, slime soak battle and more. We encouraged preteens to invite their friends and had a huge turnout. Everyone had a really cool time and they talked about it for months afterwards!

Momentum from the event created a launching pad for friendships within the group to be build. Those who attended made some new Christian friends, which is foundational to spiritual growth. During discussion time on Sundays, students felt more open to share. The group was coming together and beginning to experience a sense of community and unity.

Relational events are key to building friendships.

Preteens are relational creatures. On their journey towards adolescence, they experience an internal shift and make friendships with peers a priority. Friends become more important. As Christians, it is critical that preteens are connected with others who are also following Jesus. Preteens are hugely influenced by their peers. So, being connected to the right group is important because it creates positive peer pressure. In this environment, the group influences each other to make good choices.

Relational events outside of Sunday or midweek services provide an opportunity for preteens to meet new friends and strengthen relationships with existing ones. When preteens attend a fun event, they let loose. They’re able to simply have a good time and connect with friends.

Having something fun planned for them is a draw to attend. The events don’t need to be heavy on preparation. Some easy relational events that have been successful with our preteens: laser tag sleepover, inflatable party, paintball, video game night, amazing race, swim party and a bowling/movie combo event. Whatever you do, keep it simple. The idea is to create an opportunity for preteen to build friendships.

Nick Diliberto is the creator of PreteenMinistry.net, which provides creative curriculum and resources for preteen ministry. He is also the preteen columnist for Children’s Ministry Magazine and Children’s Pastor at Seven San Diego Church.

McLessons For Children’s Ministry

Guest Writer — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:20:03 +0000

**This is a guest post by Glenys Nellist from Kids Ministry Matters

Whether we’re “lovin’ it,” or hatin’ it, there’s one thing we can all agree on—McDonald’s restaurants are successful. With over 33,000 franchises operating in 118 countries of the world and their golden arches gleaming from small village to big city, McDonald’s is rising in popularity. I don’t know about you, but I have never heard of a McDonald’s restaurant that closed down.

Sadly, the reverse is true of the church. All too often, we hear of smaller churches that have had to close their doors. And so it’s an interesting question to ponder—what is McDonald’s doing to attract our children that the church is not? And strange as it may seem, I think there are ministry lessons that we could learn from McDonald’s. Yes, McDonald’s.

A Fun Environment

In 1986 a young pastor and his wife met with ten other people in a small living room in Indiana and the vision for a new church began. As numbers began to increase and land was acquired, the children’s ministry leaders began to have a conversation about how their children’s ministry space might look, and how they could attract the maximum number of kids. They went out into the community and surveyed the children by asking, ‘what is the one place you enjoy going to most on the weekend?’ With a unanimous voice, the kids agreed that they loved going to McDonald’s . . . but not necessarily for the food. What attracted the kids to McDonald’s was the fun they could have at the PlayPlace, the indoor playground many McDonald’s restaurants have, featuring colorful tube slides and climbing apparatus. Armed with that information, the children’s ministry leaders returned to the church and created an innovative, fun environment, where kids could zoom down into their bright, creatively-themed ‘classrooms’ via colorful tube slides. Today, that church offers five weekend services with approximately 5,500 attendees.

Now I know what you are thinking . . . that it’s all very well for a large church, with a lot of financial resources, to create an innovative, fun environment for kids. But the simple truth is that it’s not about how many resources we have, but about how resourceful we can be.

Several years ago, after visiting that megachurch in Indiana with our children’s ministry team, I returned to our small village church and stood in our children’s ministry space. I knew that we could not construct tubular slides, but we could certainly transform our space in other ways! On a limited budget, we were able to create a colorful, welcoming, and fun environment, where kids were able to play for the first 15 minutes of Sunday school. Parents and members of the congregation caught the vision and supplied paint, rugs, good quality toys, puzzles, books, computers, and games . . . many items acquired economically through garage sales. The result was a fun-filled, welcoming and colorful environment that shouted ‘we LOVE kids!’

A Visible Presence

So let’s say that we’ve created our very own ‘PlayPlace’… the next question is, are we able to market ourselves as effectively as McDonald’s does? Maybe we cannot erect luminous signs on our steeples that glow for miles around, but there’s no excuse for being invisible. We have a wonderful gospel to proclaim and we have a duty to advertise it!

In this world of global technology, the first place we need to have a presence is on the Internet. For young parents, it will be the first place they look. If we want to attract new families, we need to make sure that our church website is updated and looking like someone loves it and owns it. If our website isn’t loved and cared for, then that sends a message to parents that maybe our children’s ministry isn’t either. Imagine the impact of posting photographs (or better yet, a video) of the beautiful new ministry space we have created just for their kids! Couple this with a statement or an interview with one of our leaders, that succinctly and sincerely spells out our purpose and vision for our children’s ministry, and this will be a powerful first impression for parents.

Apart from those famous illuminated arches, what are some other ways that McDonald’s manage to entice children on to their premises? Have you ever noticed that their PlayPlaces are always located at the front of their buildings? Perfect! What child can resist looking through all those windows and being lured by those brightly colored games and activities? So could we use that idea to advertise our children’s ministry? If we were parents passing by our church with three young children in tow, what would entice us inside? Could we enlist the help of church members to build an outdoor playground? What better visible way to attract families to our church than having a safe, colorful playground right on our premises?

Next, let’s think about the colorful billboards that catch our eye whenever we are on the highway. McDonald’s knows exactly how to attract our attention. Their advertisements are colorful, fun, and are constantly changing. Could we hang a bright banner outside our doors? Is our church sign drab and corny, or appealing and relevant? How about promoting our Sunday school or mid-week events at places where families play—parks, indoor activity centers? What about car decals or an eye-catching advertisement in the local newspaper? And once people do come in, how up to date and inviting are our promotional children’s ministry brochures that parents are given when they come through our doors? Effective advertising is essential—if we have people in our congregation who work in the marketing field, having a conversation with them and brainstorming about how we might be more visible in the community is a great place to start.

The Extras

Beyond its great advertising and fun environment, McDonald’s also seeks to keep things fresh and fun through special promotions. So after we have made our children’s ministry space as fun as McDonald’s PlayPlaces are and have done our very best to advertise effectively, here’s one or two more little ideas to try:

Offer fun take-aways, like kids get in their Happy Meals. What will remind kids and parents of their great experience at church?
Don’t be afraid to change the ‘menus’ frequently. Creative lessons and activities keep interest high.
Have a weekly after school ‘drive thru’, where we offer free milk with a cookie (and perhaps a prayer).

And just one word of caution—lest my intentions are misread. What parents and children see on the outside of our churches must match what they encounter on the inside! We would do our church a huge disservice if, having successfully invited families in, we did not give our utmost to building relationships, teaching the gospel, and meeting needs.

McDonald’s is here to stay. Can we say the same thing about the church? After all, the whole purpose for inviting children through our doors is to offer them not fast food, but the bread of life! And wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could advertise, along with McDonalds, ‘Billions and billions served—except that we might be able to say ‘Billions and billions saved’. Think about that next time you’re munching on a Big Mac.

How To Earn Trust with Parents

Jenny Funderburke — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:19:01 +0000

Recently our community experienced a great tragedy in which it was revealed that an individual who was highly respected and trusted had been living a life of unbelievable sin for decades. Yet again, a trusted leader who claimed to be a believer in Jesus had broken trust with an entire town.

Our world hears these stories over and over. In this case, it was a highly esteemed teacher. In many cases it is a pastor, a youth pastor, a government official, or some other high level leader who messes up big time and causes many to wonder who can truly be trusted.

We live in a world where cynicism and distrust are prevalent. Gone are the days where it is people’s first instinct to trust church leaders, and honestly, who can blame them?

So, how can we build trust with parents in such an untrusting culture? Here are seven ways I’ve been thinking about. You can leave a comment below to add your own thoughts.

1. Have very strict safety procedures in place. Make sure you have a very specific plan for how children are kept safe in your environments. Do background checks of everyone who is around kids. Restrict who has access to children. Be clear about diapering and restroom procedures. Don’t ever allow one adult to be alone with children. Have a system that ensures that the right child goes with the right parent.

2. Communicate your procedures. Procedures are great, but parents need to know what they are. Build trust by communicating what you are doing to keep their children safe.

3. Be consistent. Procedures to keep kids safe do no good unless they are followed consistently. Whatever your systems are, do your best to enforce them and to be uniform. God forbid that the one time we forget to check a tag it is and adult who does not have authority to pick up a child. Yes, parents may grumble about some of the policies, but in the long run it builds trust to be consistent.

4. Build relationship. Put yourself in a position where at some point each week you can connect with parents. It might be greeting them as they come in, or saying good-bye as they leave. It may be visiting grown-up Sunday school classes. It might be greeting outside of the worship center. Occasionally consider teaching classes for grown-ups or investigate other ways that you can connect with them. Look for opportunities for your teachers and workers to connect with parents. Help parents know who they are leaving their kids with.

5. When you mess up, admit it. Sometimes in ministry we don’t want to admit when we blow it. But we will. We will put a kid in a wrong room or a kid will get hurt from a goofy activity or lose someone’s permission slip. We can either be defensive and full of excuses, or we can just say we are sorry and make it better. We build trust with parents when we just say we are sorry.

6. Look for ways to serve. Matthew 20:28 reminds us that Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. When we focus alot on what parents should be doing to make our lives better (i.e., they should serve more, they should show up on time, they should do our take-home sheets), we often end up communicating that feeling unintentionally. That does not build trust. Instead, let us focus on serving parents. Look for ways, big and small, to make their lives better.

7. Pray hard. Pray for the kids and families in your ministry. Pray for God to give you favor with them. Pray for Him to help them trust. Pray for Him to show you opportunities to build trust and to reveal ways that you might be losing trust.

7 Ways Small Churches Can Reach Preteens

Guest Writer — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 13:55:28 +0000

**This is a guest post from Nick Diliberto from PreteenMinistry.net

In my last post, I offered many reasons for small churches (or church plants) to launch a preteen ministry. In this post, I’m going to share a few ways they can effectively reach preteens.

1. Split up preteens for weekend services. Ideally, it’s the best way to go. If preteens meet separately, you can design programming and an environment that is age specific. As a result, you maximize impact. However, not every small church has the resources to do so. If that’s you, read on.

2. Launch a midweek group. Midweek is a great tool to reach preteens. It provides the environment for relationships to flourish, spiritual growth to excel and newcomers to be reached. It is also a great alternative if you don’t have the resources to meet separately on Sundays.

3. Have relational events. Peer relationships are a priority for preteens. They’re attracted to an environment that revolves around making and being with friends. Having relational preteen events can meet that need. Some ideas: laser tag, game night, sleepover, bowling, water inflatable party, Nerf Wars (lots of Nerf guns and night of battle) and a swim party. Think simple and easy. The idea is to get them together and have fun. No need to be over the top.

4. Train preteens to be leaders. Preteens want to serve. They want to help. So, recruit and train them to be leaders. Have them help out with younger kids for Sunday services and special events. Be sure to train them well. Don’t just throw them out to the wolves. Take time to be clear about their specific role and responsibilities. Point out what they’re doing well and help them improve on their weaknesses.

5. Go to camp. Preteens have life-changing experiences at camp. Partner with other churches in your area and share the responsibilities of doing your own camp. That way, it doesn’t all fall on your shoulders. Or bring your group to a camp that provides all the programming. That way, you and your leaders spend time connecting with students.

6. Launch small groups. Small groups are great for preteens because of their relational nature. Do them at church, homes or coffee shops. They can be a means to reach many goals: discipleship, relationship or outreach. Whatever form or location you chose will most likely be effective. Why. Because preteen small groups are effective!

7. Come up with a name. Naming the ministry creates a group identity. Give it a name and preteens identify with the ministry. Think about it. Your favorite football team, restaurant and ice cream has a name. Everything has a name. Let preteens help you come up one. Trust me, they’ll come up with better ideas than you :)

Nick Diliberto is creator of PreteenMinistry.net, which provides creative curriculum and resources for preteen ministry. He is also the preteen columnist for Children’s Ministry Magazine and Children’s Pastor at Seven San Diego Church.

Preteen Ministry for Small Churches – Why Bother?

Guest Writer — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:43:10 +0000

**This is a guest post from Nick Diliberto from PreteenMinistry.net

Many churches everywhere are realizing the need for a preteen ministry. Most large churches see the need for a ministry specific to 4^th,5^th or 6^th graders. Sometimes because of the large amount of kids in attendance and other times in an attempt to target the specific needs of preteens.

However, many small churches and church plants miss out on effectively reaching preteens. Not having a high attendance, all elementary ages are lumped together. Consequently, the older kids often disengage and churches miss an opportunity to effectively reach students. In other churches, a Sunday school class for this age group is created, but with little impact. Often, leaders struggle with how to grab their attention and battle restless 5^th grade boys who seem to enjoy terrorizing them. If you’re a small church, odds are you recognize the need for a preteen ministry. Let me give you a number of reasons it should be on your radar. Some you may have thought of and some you haven’t.

Why bother launching a preteen ministry in a small church?

Preteens are unique. They’re not children anymore nor are they teenagers They’re in transition and are undergoing change in every area of life: physical, emotional, social, mental and spiritual. They require a unique approach to ministry that fits their specific needs.

Preteens face unique issues. Emerging issues like healthy guy/girl relationships, peer pressure, poor self-esteem and bullying are some of their many struggles. If we can speak God’s truth in all these areas, we set them up for success now, in the teenage years and beyond.

Preteens are relational. Peer relationships become a priority. They want to spend more time with friends and develop relationships with others their age. That’s why preteens check out when mixed with younger kids. Also, peer influence becomes stronger. A healthy preteen ministry creates a safe place where students make good choices and learn from their peers what it means to follow Jesus. Instead of peers negatively influencing one another, positive influence is abundant.

Preteens can own their relationship with Jesus. A relationship with Jesus can become real, no longer something just for their parents. It can surpass the rituals of showing up for church or shallow prayer. Programming can be infused with elements that encourage preteens to experience God and walk with Jesus in everyday life.

Many churches make the decision to launch a preteen ministry based on numbers. Numbers shouldn’t be the determining factor, rather meeting their specific needs should. And that requires having some type of programming just for preteens.

In small churches, preteen ministry can take on many different forms. Not everyone has the resources to split up age groups on Sunday, so they explore other options. Maybe they have monthly relational events for preteens or launch a preteen midweek group.

In my next post, I’ll give small churches tons of ways to specifically target preteens. So, stay tuned for more.

The Secret of Effective Preteen Ministry

Guest Writer — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:33:31 +0000

**This is a guest post from Nick Diliberto from PreteenMinistry.net

After 8 years of fighting the idea, I finally agreed to get a family dog. Her name is BonBon and she is a Chihuahua and Dotson mix, Chiweenie for short. After the first week, I quickly became attached to her. Good thing, since I am usually the one to give her a walk in the evening.

Attached to a leash, she goes absolutely nuts. It’s like she’s ADHD and been given a triple shot of espresso with extra sugar! Recently, I was walking her on the boardwalk near the bay and decided to let her go. I took off the leash and you would have thought she won the lottery. She was in heaven running all around, rolling in the dirt and sniffing every smell imaginable. But the cool thing is that she earned my trust. She kept up with me as I walked at a steady pace. When I called her, she came to me. She needed some freedom, so I decided to let go and stay close by.

When it comes to leading preteens, our job is to let go but stay close by. Preteens are able to own their relationship with Jesus. They want to experience God on their own and engage with Him in everyday life. They are moving towards independence in all areas of life, including their spiritual lives.

In order for preteens to take the first steps with God, leaders need to let go. Letting go means we encourage them to ask questions about God, Jesus and the Bible. We’re not afraid to let them ask tough questions and guide them to search for the answers. We allow preteens to own the ministry and give them opportunities to lead. We give opportunities to hear what God is speaking to them during programming. We ask preteens what topics are relevant and structure series around their responses.

Letting go is important, but so is staying close by. We walk alongside of them and their parents offering guidance, support, prayer and encouragement. When they mess up, we help them get back up. When they come up with weird conclusions from the Bible way out in left field, we guide them back to the truth. When life hits them hard and their parents get divorced or a family member dies, we stick close by.

BonBon needed freedom and I took the risk of letting go. Preteens need some freedom in order to truly own their relationship with Jesus. Leaders can offer that freedom by letting go and staying close by.

Nick Diliberto is the creator of PreteenMinistry.net, which provides creative curriculum and resources for preteen ministry. He’s also the preteen columnist for Children’s Ministry magazine and Children’s Pastor at Seven San Diego Church in southern California.