Ministry-To-Children.com » Connecting Church and Home Conference

Connecting Church & Home: Closing Questions

Lauren Foster — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 02:36:11 +0000

Here are the notes from the final panel discussion. These are a rough summary and partial paraphrase of what the speakers said. For more details, be sure to watch the video from the Seminary website.

Speakers included RANDY STINSON, SALLY MICHAEL, DAVID MICHAEL, JAY STROTHER, STEVE WRIGHT, RYAN RUSH.

Watch it here: Closing Panel Discussion

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

The final Q & A session I found to be very helpful and applicable. A smorgasbord of questions were asked during this time and the panel did an excellent job in giving practical advice. The first question addressed how one can train teenagers to embrace Biblical gender roles. Sally Michael and her son in law are currently working on a curriculum for teens and she provided some good insight in answering this question. She expressed that the roles of gender are important and that a person is being taught by the world, even at a young preschool age. Our children will know no different view than the world’s, unless we provide them with the Bible’s perspective. The concept of parents understanding what Scriptures says about gender roles and then modeling it for their children has been done poorly. It is vital for parents to first understand what Scripture teaches, and then to display this to their children. Sally’s husband, David, added that we must be more intentional in teaching about gender roles to our children and that doing this must start as young as the nursery.

Another questions asked dealt with the issue of senior adults and how to incorporate them into the church. Jay Strother was quick to point out that all generations share a place in the Kingdom of God. It is important to help senior adults understand their place in the church. A good way that senior adults can serve is by encouraging parents and to help fill a grandparent role that might be absent for some families. It is important to value our senior adults and invest in them. It is also just as important for the church to serve the senior adults. Teach teenagers about serving the body of Christ, part of which includes serving the elderly and widows. Ryan Rush also pointed out that it is so important to incorporate senior adults. Present senior adults with the idea that you are trying to restore something they miss—such as grandchildren and family centered ministry. More than likely they are probably missing these things.

The third question dealt with the idea of children’s worship. David Michael explained that they have not had a children’s worship in 30 years at Bethlehem Baptist Church. It is important for children to engage in the worship service and observe the intensity of the pastor. David encourages that children can sit still and listen to a sermon. One way to get children listening is by giving them a word to identify and understand. Every child that gets it right will receive a prize at the end of the service. It is important to have kids tune into the pastor and the sermon, rather than just automatically pulling out the coloring book. Having children participate in worship is important because it allows them to see their family participate, as well as the church as a whole spending time worshiping God. Jay Strother also pointed out that worshiping together as a family effects everything overall, such as missions and evangelism. It is important to allow children participation in these events. One way that children can easily participate in worship is to allow them to sing up front during the service. This can allow parents to see the importance of praising and worshiping God as their little one sets an example during the service.

The last question addressed to the panel concerned recognizing the need to shift a ministry to a family-equipping model and getting everyone on board with the idea. Sally Michael stated that she and David wrote out their philosophy for their church ministry and presented it to the congregation and their vision of where they wanted things to head. David added that they tried to give their parents a vision and show them the responsibility of spiritually discipling their children. Jay Strother pointed out the importance of not overlooking the soul work that must take place in your life, home, and with your church team. It is vital to state that this isn’t just the latest fad for churches, but to present the Biblical foundation for incorporating the families and making them a priority. Steve Wright encouraged that your family find a mission or need (Matthew 28) and live it out. Begin in your own home and see how God blesses you and your family.

The Spiritual Impact of Mothers: Sally Michael

Lauren Foster — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 01:16:55 +0000

Here is my rough summary and paraphrase of the breakout session with Sally Michael. She and her husband, David, currently serve as the directors of Parenting and Children’s Discipleship at Bethlehem Baptist Church located in Minneapolis, MN. Sally is best known for her her role in writing curriculum for Children Desiring God.

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

In her breakout session, Sally taught on the spiritual impact mothers can have on their children and the importance of making disciples out of your children. Her love for the Gospel and her passion for mothers to lead their children to the Lord were evidenced throughout the time she shared. When speaking about the importance of sharing the Gospel with little ones, Sally would tear up and the emotion she expressed taught me more than words could possibly communicate. Her passion for mothers to take their role seriously encouraged me and made me realize the importance of investing in moms and helping them to impact their children with God’s Word.

One thing Sally really stressed was the importance of mothers daily investing time in God’s Word. Understanding that a mom can keep a hectic schedule and barely have time for herself, Sally still remained firm that moms must take time to read God’s Word, pray, and memorize Scripture. She stated that it is vital that mothers be shaped by the Word of God, and not by the world and its standards. Sally stated that mothers are ambassadors and they can share a key role in reconciling their children to God. This great responsibility calls mothers to be authentic in their relationship with God and to rely on Him for help in rearing their children. Because mothers ultimately have the responsibility of preparing their children for the Day of Judgment, it is vital to begin teaching children about God when they are young. Daily conversations about God and His Word should be incorporated throughout the day.

Sally reinforced that this is why it is so vital that moms be saturated in the Word of God, so that the overflow will result in teaching their children throughout the daily routines. It is important to teach preschoolers about God’s character and His love for them, and this can easily be done when playing, eating, or getting ready for bed. When reading through Bible stories, she encouraged mothers to stop and talk about why God performed this miracle or why He intervened in this story. It is important for children to understand that God had control in the Bible story and that He had a plan. It is vital for mothers to take their role of raising their children seriously and understand that God has given them the opportunity of introducing them to the things of God. Mothers have the great task of discipling their children and make an impact on their children’s relationship with Christ.

Gospel Parenting in the Home: Timothy Paul Jones

Lauren Foster — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 22:24:07 +0000

One of the breakout sessions I attended during the Connecting Church & Home Conference was lead by Dr. Timothy Jones, who currently serves as the Associate Professor of Leadership and Church Ministry at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. Dr. Jones has written a number of books on the subject of family ministry and is one of the leading experts in the field of connecting the church and home. This particular breakout session focused on the importance of equipping parents to be the spiritual disciplers in their children’s lives and why it is so vital that they be involved in this area of a child’s life.

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

Dr. Jones prefaced that it is important that one not merely assume that incorporating new programs and events will result in parents’ discipling their children, but one must first develop a culture that is Gospel centered and points to the importance of investing in their children’s lives. He stated throughout the session that it is vital for parents to grasp that their children are potential brothers and sisters in Christ and that their decision for Christ is eternal. Parents must understand that their children need the Gospel and that one day they will be the future carriers of the Good News. Dr. Jones urged that churches take the time to train parents and equip them to be the primary spiritual disciplers of their children. Events need to be designed in such a way that parents can have a part in training their children, programs need to be established that incorporate the parents’ involvement, and churches need to be equipping parents and giving them materials to help aid them in the process of training up their children.

It is vital in today’s church that parents be held accountable as the primary spiritual equippers in their children’s lives. The church must take time to invest in parents and provide ways for them to disciple their kids. Think of ways that you can improve your current programs and events by giving parents an opportunity of being involved in their children’s spiritual development. As children’s ministers, we need to be aware of equipping parents to be the primary spiritual disciplers in their children’s lives and showing them how they can, on a daily basis, impact their children for God.

Christian Parenting is Combat: Albert Mohler

Tony Kummer — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 19:45:41 +0000

Here is my rough summary and paraphrase of the session with Dr. Mohler. I will post the audio when it is released so you can listen for yourself.

Albert Mohler never disappoints in his communication ability. His wise discussion of parenting was seasoned with humor and personal stories. This session helped me better understand what it means to be a parent in a postmodern age. It is a struggle and family ministry can be a key alley in helping Christian parents. Of course, he speaks much faster than I can type or even think. But here are some notes I was able to compile.

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

Watch it now: Albert Mohler, General Session 4

R. Albert Mohler, Jr. is the president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is an esteemed authority on contemporary issues and his writings have been published throughout the United States and Europe

Combat Parenting and the Glory of God

There is something of a tragedy in having to have a conference about connecting church and home. Something has been lost. In a sense we are trying to reconnect something which should never have been disconnected. But we live in a Genesis 3 work where disconnection and brokenness is normal. We need to be careful in how we reconnect these, or else it could go very wrong.

1 Peter 5: 1-11

“Elders are to shepherd the flock of God.” There is a sense of normal about this situation. This is one of the general epistles addressed to all believers. Normal ought to look like the church rightly ordered where elders function in their roles with integrity. The younger men should be humble and submit to their leaders, who are models of Christ-likeness.

“Be alert, for your adversary the devil prows around like a roaring lion. Seeking someone to devour.” We tend to be reluctant to talk about what it means for Satan to be prowling around. But if we take this seriously, Peter is saying this too is normal. In the Christian life, we have an enemy who we need to resist. All of our ministry, our marriage, our child rearing is in the context of the fact that we have an enemy. This is a spiritual warfare that we endure for the long haul. Just looking around at the problems facing our churches and families and you cannot deny this reality.

Combat language is appropriate. The problems are not out there in the world, but within us and among us. The enemy is seeking to do whatever he can to keep Christians from glorifying Christ. It is a battle to bring God the greatest glory.

1 Sam 2:12 “The sons of Eli were worthless men, they did not know the Lord.”

That is what disaster looks like in the terms of Christian parenting. It’s failure. We want our children to grow up to be worth something.

This who conversation is in the context of a post Christian America.

We have to be better than our parents were. If our parents or grandparents failed at any point, there were support systems within our culture. What our parents taught was supported in the schools and streets where we grew up. There were role mole models who could step in for fatherless boys. My parents had rules about television and the content on TV was much more tame. Today’s parents have to be more aware and more vigilant.

Something has happened to the family. It has been stripped by all its functions. The very notion of the natural family has become an anachronism. Our culture has been struggle to define culture since the Carter administration.

We face the digital generation. Young people inhabit a world that is largely out of view and is consuming them. We are the problem here. The average home always has the TV on and most older children even have their own set and computers. Parents are absent from their world. We have to be concerned about what this means for their souls.

The peer culture has taken on a dangerous shape. Adolescence is an invention of our modern times. The development of the High School was one factor creating the dominance of the peer culture. For many children, their lives are shaped more by their peers than their parents.

The educational establishment now claims to know better what kids need than their parents. This began with John Dewey’s vision for changing the values of children.

There are several other changes in our culture that undermine what Christian parents are trying to teach.

We don’t want our children to grow up to be moralistic theistic deists. See article here.

As described by Christian Smith and his team, Moralistic Therapeutic Deism consists of beliefs like these: 1. “A god exists who created and ordered the world and watches over human life on earth.” 2. “God wants people to be good, nice, and fair to each other, as taught in the Bible and by most world religions.” 3. “The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about ones self.” 4. “God does not need to be particularly involved in one’s life except when God is needed to resolve a problem.” 5. “Good people go to heaven when they die.”

This is not the Gospel taught in the Bible. This is not how God receives his greatest glory. This is not the goal of Christian parenting. The world may prefer that, but those who believe that do not know God.

More research from this group has just been released. They found two things kept Christian teens deeply connected to church and Biblical Christianity. Parents who stayed spiritually involved, and a church community where other adults to who they felt accountable.

This all comes back to connecting the church and home. Here are four things we must do.

#1 The church must present faithful vision of the family, marriage, and parenting – and equip believers to transfer that vision to the next generation.

#2 The church must overcome the zone of privacy and autonomy that keeps individuals from being accountable to the church community. We need to get into each others face. Our parenting and marriage are not properly ours – but belong to Christ and are the affairs of the whole church. Someone needs to get involved when people struggle in these areas.

#3 The church has got to be a place where brokenness is overcome by the Gospel. We slander the good news when we act like the only people who can glorify God are those who have never experienced brokenness.

#4 The where families are rescued and armed for the combat to which we are called. Discipleship is a battle. We come to church because we can’t afford not to come. We need to get together because we need to be equipped by the preaching of the Word of God and the fellowship of the Saints.

What’s a Christian Dad Suppose To Do: Randy Stinson

Terry Delaney — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 18:47:42 +0000

What follows is my rough paraphrase and summary of a talk from the 2010 Connecting Church and Home Conference. In this break-out session, Randy Stinson assumed a basic understanding of Ephesians 5:22-33. This message was more about an application for husbands as they lead their families. There are nine applications that build on one another.

Randy Stinson is the Dean of the School of Church Ministries at Southern Seminary. Dr. Stinson also serves as the president of The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

Vision—Paint a broad picture for your family as to where you see your family going in the future.
Direction—This is how you will get there. Here you have mapped out the steps it will take in getting from point A to point B. It would be best to perhaps set up a family creed or confession of sorts to help keep you rooted.
Instruction—You need to prepare your family for the inevitable obstacles. It is here where you become proactive rather than reactive.
Imitation—Your children are watching you whether you realize it or not. You need to be able to say to them, do as I do. This is the heart of leadership and discipleship. It is important that here you model what it means to be repentant. You are going to mess up and your kids will see that. They will also see how you respond to your mistakes.
Inspiration—Here you need to develop a group thought of “isn’t this great?” Think of yourself as a general in charge of the morale of your troops.
Affirmation—You need to tell each individual in your group that they are doing well. This is especially more true to affirm your wife (or husband) than your children. Nonetheless, it is important that you are affirming to everyone in your house. Point out the evidence’s of God’s grace in their lives even if they have messed up.
Evaluation—This is key to make sure you are staying the course. Here lies the true burden of leadership. I have found that the more you evaluate the less of a burden it becomes.
Correction—Be willing to make changes as the need arises. Not everything you begin or do is going to work.
Protection and Provision—You need to make sure your family knows that you will take care of them. It is one thing to say this but something completely different to actually do it. This includes the spiritual realm that so often gets relegated to the mother—especially if the family is homeschooling.

Ultimately, I (Terry) found this break-out session to be both convicting and encouraging. It helped to put some meat on the skeleton insofar as what this really looks like in the home.

6 Habits of Gospel-Centered Homes: Peter Schemm

Terry Delaney — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 18:41:12 +0000

What follows is a rough paraphrase and summary from the 2010 Connecting Chruch & Home Conference. This session was comprised of the eleventh chapter of the forthcoming book, Trained in the Fear of God edited by Randy Stinson and Timothy Paul Jones. While we did not delve deep into each point Schemm has, we did gain a lot of insight through his trials and errors as well as his answering of questions for those who are struggling with making their home more gospel-centered.

Pete Schemm Pete Schemm serves as Associate Professor of Theology at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, Wake Forest, NC. He is the former editor of the Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. He was also Associate Editor and a contributor to A Theology for the Church (B&H). He currently serves as a Shepherd’s Training instructor at Open Door Baptist Church and has also served as pastor, associate pastor, and interim pastor of churches in North Carolina and Georgia. Pete and Vicki, his wife of seventeen years, have eight children: Charis, Colby, Jacob, Zachary, Parker, Anderson, Mary Kathryn, and Chase.

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

Six Habits of Gospel-Centered Homes

The six habits Pete called for to make the home more gospel-centered (and these are in no particular order):

Reciting the Apostle’s Creed together—this is the fundamental creed that spans all Christian doctrinal differences and has been around for centuries giving your child a historic mooring to the Christian faith. A book entitled The Essence of Christian Doctrine has just recently been published. It is centered on The Apostle’s Creed and would be an excellent resource for the family seeking to memorize this particular creed.
Reading Scripture together—You have heard us espouse this here at Ministry To Children over and over! there are numerous Children’s Bibles we do recommend.
Catechism—Teaching your children historic catechism will be both beneficial to you and them. We have recommended a few here as well.
Singing together—We are all familiar with Ephesians 5:19 that we should sing “Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.” That does not stop with the corporate worship—it is just as fundamentally true for the home as it is for the local body of believers.
Prayer—Again, we have discussed much of this here, but Pete challenged everyone to pray together as a family more than just at meals.
Table Talk—This stems from something Martin Luther used to do with his students and those who would eat meals with him and his family. This may be the most effective way in which you can begin the reformation in your home to its becoming more gospel-centered. This is very easy to do as all you really need to do is ask a question and allow those at the dinner table to answer.

After discussing these six points briefly, we had a chance to ask some questions. This was perhaps the most beneficial aspect to this hour long break-out session. I will attempt to summarize the questions and answers.

Q: How do you choose a catechism and what do you do if you do not agree with some of the questions and answers?

A: Choose a more historic catechism—I (Pete) do not personally use a catechism that is less than 100 years old. As for questions and answers you disagree with, there are two options. First, simply do not work on those you disagree with or, second, memorize them as they are listed but then offer to your children why you disagree with it. The latter method will cultivate a thinking mind and help your children to measure everything they believe according to scripture.

Q: How can you model a gospel-centered home for others to see? How can you bring others into your home to “see” how this works without making them feel awkward?

A: Focus on your home and the needs therein and others will flock to you because they see something different. As for not making others feel awkward, just go about your family business and be as natural as possible. In other words, do not line your kids up to show them off! You will see that doing this natural will be more powerful than any program you could ever initiate in your church.

Q: How often should we do these habits?

A: First, this is not an exhaustive list nor am I saying you must do these six things. But, I would say slowly at first. It takes time and persistence. If I had to give a number, I would say my family regularly does 4 of the 6 in any given week. Think about what you want your life and family to look like and then move in that direction.

Q: If you want to start this immediately in your home and begin to change the culture in your church, where would you begin first?

A: It really depends on your situation in the home. If your husband is talkative, I would have him read Scripture—there are numerous children’s Bibles available. If he is not talkative, perhaps reading is not the best bet. It really depends on each situation, but Bible Intake and prayer are probably the two most important overall.

Pete concluded with this golden nugget of a comment:

Remember, it is not about indoctrination, it is about inspiration. In other words, you want to inspire your children rather than force the issues.

The Genesis Standard for Families: Ryan Rush

Tony Kummer — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 15:30:03 +0000

Here is my rough summary and paraphrase of the session with Ryan Rush. I will post the audio when it is released so you can listen for yourself.

Ryan was a competent speaker and the audience enjoyed his message. In addition to these notes he explained the milestone strategy that his church uses to help families disciple their children.

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

Watch it now: Ryan Rush, General Session 3

Ryan Rush is Senior Pastor at Bannockburn Baptist Church. He has led the implementation of a comprehensive, cross-generational effort to connect church and home life. Ryan is the author of Home on Time: Life Management by the Book

These principles of connecting church and home must extend to every facet of ministry. At our church we don’t have a family ministry program or even a staff person for family ministry. It’s something that permeates the whole of our church culture. Pastors can be slow to embrace family ministry because they are overwhelmed and don’t want another program.

We need to focus on the proper standard for ministry. We need to find the one underlying theme that God wants to happen in families. We should not focus on the wrong things. The standard of what God wants in the home is not the 1950s. It’s not to emulate the families in the New Testament. It’s not to model after Old Testament families.

We need to look back to the pre-fall family in Genesis 1-2. Just like Paul and Jesus pointed back to these text for principles about the family. We need to ask why are families created in the first place. What we’re trying to do can be summed up in how the home functioned in those earliest hours.

3 Implications of the Genesis Standard for family

Start with the cultural standard in the church. Eventually these ideas will invade programs, but you must start with changes on the cultural level of your church

#1 The family was not designed primarily for learning about God. It was designed that we can actually know God, not just learn about him. It was created for intimacy. The greatest gift for families in your church is not to just teach them about God, but to help them have intimacy with God.

Too often we’re more interested in the appearance of the problem than the real problem. The is a danger of building something without a proper diagnosis. If we only train people to be more moral, this would be a great disservice. It’s easier to get parents excited about moral issues than spiritual issues.

Deuteronomy 6 does not start with just teaching kids about God. It starts with knowing & loving God. Three foundational questions: Who is God? What is truth? Why am I here?

#2 Every biblical expression of family is a reflection of God and his attributes. We reflect God in our own unique attributes as man or woman. There is beauty in a family that reflects God in a unique way that individuals can not. My walk with Jesus is incomplete until it is exported into home life.

#3 You can do many practical things to connect church & home, but there is none more important than exhorting the congregation to know God. Are we challenging people to move beyond information about God and into intimacy with God.

For more on Ryan’s church and their strategy, visit www.bbcfamily.com

Calling Fathers to Raise Men: Randy Stinson

Tony Kummer — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 03:33:20 +0000

Here is my rough summary and paraphrase of Dr. Stinson’s talk. I will post the audio when it is released so you can listen for yourself.

His message had two sections. In the beginning he explained the challenges facing men & boys in our culture. Then he offered some practical ways that churches can encourage biblical manhood and help fathers to raise the next generation of men.

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

Watch it now: Randy Stinson, General Session 2

Randy Stinson is the Dean of the School of Church Ministries at Southern Seminary. Dr. Stinson also serves as the president of The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

Calling Fathers to Raise Men (1 Kings 2:1-9)

Kids want to go where their dads are going. It’s an enormous responsibility for Fathers. You are passing something on to your children one way or the other. The Bible illustrates this over and over. It’s a pattern in scripture that begins with Adam and his sons and has many examples.

Sociologists have refereed to this current group of 20 somethings as “generation me.” They are often self absorbed and feel entitled to explanations. We live in a very therapeutic culture. Competition is eliminated and every sin is turned into a syndrome. Churches are also in a difficult theological position, some have called bridled mysticism. The language used in contemporary Christian music reflects this approach. “I want to touch you.” “I can’t stop falling in love with you Jesus.” “I want my life to be a love song to you.” We have undermined the expression of the Christian life by theological error. Men do not connect with this sensual language. So, our culture is increasingly anti-male.

This is in opposition to the Bible, which calls men to lead, protect, and provide for their families. A self absorbed man can not lead, except for their own comfort. He will provide for himself at the expense of others. He is not willing to suffer harm to protect others.

Obeying God for a man is often going to look very different from obeying God for a woman. Consider what David asked his sons to do in 1 Kings 2. We know intuitively that it’s the man’s job to check out that weird noise in the middle of the night for danger.

Men have this view of Jesus that comes from our Sunday School literature. These feminine depictions of Jesus have no connection with the real Jesus of history. We’re all in a battle here to reach men. It takes pastors who will continue to press the biblical model for manhood with courage.

Here are some ways to fight for biblical manhood for the next generation:

#1 We need to focus on ministry by men, not ministry for men. Relationships need to be forged not forced on men. This relationship building is very different. Men need to do something and sacrifice together.

#2 We need to raise the bar and challenge them to tasks that require manhood. Give them a God-sized task that required them to get things done.

#3 Bring back warfare language. Battle is a dominant theme in the Bible after Genesis 3. Let’s reclaim the language of the Bible. Remind them they’re in a battle and maybe they’ll start acting like a warrior.
What would we do if you knew someone was after your home? You would leave this place and we’d all come along to help you defend your loved ones. The truth is that Satan is seeking to destroy your family. Keep telling them it’s a war.

#4 Create an atmosphere where b manhood is prized, expected, and taught. If you protect boys from all pain and disappointment, they will be disabled for life. They will be weak and afraid. They will lack godly ambition and resilience. Raise men, not just boys.

#5 Wage a war against pornography. They are shells of men enslaved to sin. They do not feel adequate to spiritually lead their family. They are crippled and burdened by guild shame because they are trapped by this sin. It’s like high blood pressure, you don’t know who has this silent killer. Attack this problem with a no-hold-barred battle.

This vision needs to start with us. It must start in our own homes. Hypocrisy is a great spiritual danger and temptation. Keep watch over yourself. Satan loves a hypocrite.

Spiritual Orphans in God’s Household: Russell Moore

Tony Kummer — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 03:13:22 +0000

Here is my rough summary of Dr. Moore’s talk. I will work on cleaning this up next week. Most of these notes are my paraphrase. His message mainly drew lessons from the orphan care movement for church based family ministry. At first I was a little confused by his approach, but he connected the dots as the session progressed.

Overall, it was an inspiring message that challenged me with a larger vision of family ministry. In the same way we open our physical homes to orphans and widows – we should also open our spiritual homes (the congregation) to those who do not have a spiritual family. I’ll post a link to the audio when they post it. Dr. Moore’s speach was also covered an article on the Christian Post.

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

Watch it now: Russell Moore, General Session 1

Russell D. Moore is Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice President for Academic Administration at Southern Seminary. He is an author, editor and also serves as a preaching pastor at Highview Baptist Church.

Lessons from the Adoption Care Movement (James 1:22-27)

The question of connecting church and home can be informed by the developing orphan care movement within Evangelicalism. Everyone is called to care for widows and orphans, the only question is how.

There are many children who are spiritual orphans because they don’t have Christian parents. Some women are embarrassed to come to church because they do not have a man who will come along. It may be helpful to think of these women as spiritual widows.

We ought to beware not to create churches that are a families only conclave. Build up and equip families and at the same time be on mission with Christ.

As more churches become concerned about orphan care, everyone is looking for a curriculum or a product to fix these problems. But that is not what the Spirit has been doing. An adoption movement in a congregation is different in each church. The answer is not having a big and slick program, but saying we are willing to be with Christ in hearing the fatherless and the widows – and the Spirit equips us to do that.

#1 Consider the nature of the church as a spiritual household. James was speaking to the churches. 1 Tim 3:15 “manage his own household well” so he will be able to lead the church of God. Titus 2 “spiritual mothers”

Some of the men will only see what it means to be a father by seeing the other men in your church acting like fathers. We need to call out pastors who understand what it means to be a dad to their congregation.

This is a similar role for the Titus 2 woman. She demonstrates godly mothering through caring for others in the congregation.

#2 We need to understand unity within diversity in the family. The adoption movement shows us how we can love others outside our genetic and ethic groups. To help families that are breaking apart, we need to learn how to model unity within our churches.

Unfortunately, our churches are often united around the wrong things. Congregations are being sorted out by economic status, or by race rather than spiritual unity. We need the unity that the Spirit brings.

You have some women that don’t want to come to your church because they know your church stands for family values – therefor they think they won’t be welcomed. We need to be united around the Gospel and the deposit of truth given to us. We need to love one another and even when we are not like one another. 2 Thess 3 “admonish as a brother”

A condition of salvation is not having ordered your family in the right way from the get-go. The blood of Jesus is for all different types.

#3 There has to be a Gospel patience toward people. You can’t adopt a 3-4 year old child and expect them to behave exactly like a child you have raised since birth. In the same way, Jesus doesn’t sanctified us immediately all the way. He takes us through a process that often involves suffering and patience. We need to extend this same patience toward others.

#4 There has to be shared responsibility in the way we organize our churches. Too often, we don’t see the church as a family, but a gathering of people who share the same values. It’s easy to preach against outsiders. Think of how the Evangelical church speaks strongly against homosexuality but are relatively mute about divorce. We need to speak to all people with truth and love.

You do not have “single people” in your congregation. There are not individuals – you have brothers and sisters in your congregation. They are part of you, they are in your home.

We can understand the church as an economy. We’ve lost an understand of the home as an economy. The kids leave for school and the parents leave for work. None have jobs together in the home. They don’t see how they contribute something to the family. Within the church as a household, we all have a job. Even those coming out of painful backgrounds, can see they are welcomed because they are useful. We use the gifts of everyone in the congregation, even those who are coming from no home. The more successful your church is, the more likely you’ll be embarrassed when some of those gifts are honed or refined. But that’s the point!

Don’t give up on people because they aren’t perfect. See yourself as a broken congregation that is learning from family broken people where you are broken. In the providence of God, he had the Gentile churches take up an offering for the church in Jerusalem. Do not see yourself as the one fixing others, God is probably going to flip the situation and minister to you through them.

It’s not about programs, that can come later. What you have to have is a mood that says to the congregation “Jesus will appear to us in the least of these.”

Connecting Church & Home: Opening Questions

Tony Kummer — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 00:55:11 +0000

The conference began with lunch and panel discussion. It was a fast moving session with much more going on than I could write down. Instead, I will list some of the takeaways from my notes.

Definition: The family equipping model seeks to reorient existing ministry programs so that parents are better trained, equipped, and acknowledge for their role in the discipleship of their children.

This whole process is about conversation and soul searching. No one group has figured out the perfect way to connect church and home. Even the panel speakers continue to transition and seek to do a better job with family equipping ministry.

This transition begins with attitudes and a new mindset. This is true for both parents and ministry leaders. It begins with taking the Bible seriously in passages like Deuteronomy 6, Psalm 78, and Matthew 28. It is not about programs but about a culture within the church that affirms the role of the home.

For more coverage of the 2010 Connecting Church & Home Conference visit our summary page. You can listen to audio from this conference on the Southern Seminary website.

Dr. Timothy Paul Jones shares some research. Most parents admit they are responsible for the discipleship of their kids but fail to do anything about it. Almost none of these parents were given help or training by their church. There are two facts that help us understand when parents are spiritually disengaged. First, they have never been told or trained. Second, they don’t feel they have the time.

Steve Wright shared about families living on mission. This is a response to the concern about this being an inward focused ministry paradigm. He listed the following:

our family can look different and have distinct values
our family has chosen publish school as an intentional mission field
our family can host baby showers for neighbors
our family can discuss college choices based on the best place to be a witness for Jesus

Several on the panel offered ideas for encouraging dads. The idea was to give them ‘wins’ to help them achieve forward progress and take ownership of family discipleship.

demonstrating how they can pray for their wives
teaching dads to use the CDG blessing verse cards with their kids at night
in the child dedication service, dad gets to say “YES”
have the dads come forward after the service for a special message from the pastor, when the kids ask what it was they share a brief moment of ministry to the family in the car
have fathers involved in a baptism mentors process, even having them discern if the child is spiritually ready
have the final slid of the sermon offer an outline for a family devotion for that week, print this on 3×5 cards and hand it out as the church leaves the sanctuary