Ministry-To-Children.com » Family Ministry

How to Plan a Fall Festival

Lauren Foster — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 15:00:14 +0000

The temperature is dropping, pumpkins are appearing at grocery stores, and Walgreens flu shot commercials are airing—Fall is here!

An event we hold at our church every October is Fall Festival. Planning meetings are starting up and we are beginning to line up the details for this event. Here are a few tips if you are thinking about having a Fall Festival:

1) Picking the Date: Do you want your festival to serve as an alternative for Halloween? Or do you simply want to provide families with something fun to do? Think through the best time to have your Fall Festival. We have found our attendance grew by having it the Wednesday night before Halloween, rather than on the weekend or the actual night of Halloween. This also allows us to have the participation of our regular Wednesday night attendees to help with the event, as well as ensuring our families can come since this night is usually dedicated to church events. Choose a night that will ensure you will have plenty of volunteers and that won’t interfere with the other fifteen festivals occurring in your area.

2) Choosing Activities: At our Fall Festival we have a number of activity booths available for preschool and elementary aged children. It is important to group the preschool and elementary booths separately. That way you don’t have your fourth graders running over your three year olds. We have age appropriate games at each booth. An example of a preschool booth is the Duck Pond. A small wading pool is filled with water and yellow rubber duckies are placed in the water. Preschoolers pick a duck and the number written on the bottom is the amount of candy they receive. One elementary booth we do is the Basketball Shoot. Set up a basketball goal and mark different lines children must shoot from. Children receive candy for each goal made. Last year at my church campus we had about five preschool booths and six elementary booths. In addition to the activities, we also provided face painting, hay rides, popcorn and cotton candy, as well as bouncies.

3) Embracing a Budget: Our Fall Festival is one of the most expensive events we do for our children. The price of the candy alone is expensive. If you are thinking about having your first Fall Festival, consider asking your congregation to donate candy. We did this for our first Easter Egg Hunt last April and the church donated about 70% of the candy we needed! Another way to save in the budget is to ask church members for the items you need for the booths. We have church members donate their basketball goals, tricycles, corn holes, and even some preschool games like a bean bag toss. If you don’t have the finances to rent a bouncy, consider contacting the company and asking if they will donate one if you advertise their services at the event. You may be surprised what people are willing to donate if you will simply let their name be publicized.

4) Considering Safety: During our Fall Festival, we make sure we have a lot of security present. This is a perfect event for the local pedafiles to notice and try to attend. If you have policemen in your congregation, ask them if they will attend the event and help provide security. Also, if you have limited parking, consider asking local businesses around your church if you can use their parking spaces that night. You will need police officers to direct traffic and keep everything flowing smoothly.

5) Getting Prospects: If you attend our Fall Festival, we ask you to fill out a registration form. As an incentive, we will have a giveaway. Giveaways will depend on your budget—Consider giving away bikes, a Wii, or gift cards. We ask families to provide us with their names, address, phone number, e-mail, and to check if they attend church anywhere and the name of the church. After the event, we go through the cards and sort them by our church members, those who are churched, and those who are unchurched and follow up with them accordingly. This is a great event to attract families in your area and get them interested in attending your church.

We want to hear your ideas! If your church has hosted a Fall Festival, please leave a comment to share your tips with other readers. You can also read about the Trunk or Treat events that many churches host.

“Serving Others” Summer Program Ideas for Kids

Emily A Mullens — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 09:54:57 +0000

Planning a Serving Others Summer (SOS) can be a fun way to connect to the community, serve others, and bring the church family together. These are very simple ideas you can carry out quickly.

Print water bottle labels with a bible verse and your church information and pass out at a local parade or little league game.
Serve a free hot dog lunch in the parking lot at high school registration.
Offer a morning story hour for moms and toddlers having seniors do the reading to the children.
Pass out free freeze pops with your church logo on them at the city park.
Don’t forget to make it fun! Have a group called iServe. Youth give their phone numbers and then you send all the details, date, time etc. of a community clean up project by a text message. After they arrive and clean up that area, a send the next message to where they go next. The last text is usually a pizza place to refuel all the teens! Don’t forget to put the information on your church website too!

For a bigger project, plant a community garden and have church families or small groups sign up to take care of it. After tiling and preparing the soil, get a local garden shop to donate vegetable and herb plants. Donate harvested food to the local food pantry. Weigh the food before delivery to see just how many pounds can actually be raised and donated.

A truly life changing project could be a “mini mission trip”. Organize a weekend where families meet at a local campground or at the church if you have space. On Friday evening, everyone brings their own camping equipment, and works together to prepare dinner. Enjoy a bonfire together in community, devotion, and worship. Then, Saturday morning, assign teams to prearranged work sites. Children can be entertained by youth who put on a VBS type program while adults are at projects. The VBS could be open to other campers if you are at a public site. Everyone returns for a lunch prepared by other church members, and then a quiet time is held before returning to work sites. Come back together at the end of the day and have a special evening. Sunday morning have a worship service where people get to share their experience. This service can be a the camp site or back at the church.

The possibilities are endless. Whatever need you see a project can be developed for any age group. Ask the kids in your ministry what they think. They may have ideas of their own. what ever project you select, both the giver and the receiver will learn and grow in their love of Jesus.

How to Plan a Family Mission Trip

Jenny Funderburke — Wed, 11 May 2011 10:11:40 +0000

Click above to read more about Jenny's mission trip.

This spring I experienced one of the most life-changing and ministry-changing weeks ever. We had the opportunity to take several families, including kids ages 7 – 14 on a mission trip to Belize. We partnered with David and Karen Rhodes of Kidz Konnect 4 Jesus to minister at Light of the Valley school, a school we have been sponsoring for the past year.

I was apprehensive about how our kids would react to being in a foreign country, surrounded by a culture very different from ours. The minute they piled out of our van, they hit the ground running to form new friendships and to share God’s love. You can read a summary of my trip here or read more details here or here.

As I watched mamas and daddies serve alongside their children, I saw them share experiences that they will never forget. I saw them stretch their faith together and fall in love with a people together. It was amazing and made me a total advocate of providing these challenging spiritual experiences for families.

Here are five steps for planning your own family mission trip.

1. Determine where you want to go. Find a partnership and a location that fits your church and your ministry. Keep in mind that traveling with kids adds some limitations. You need to keep in mind the length of travel that they can handle as well as the conditions they will be working in. Belize was a great fit for us because it was a 3 hour plane ride from ATL, the people speak English, and David and Karen plan trips from the perspective of children’s ministers.

2. Get the kids excited. Most of our families who went, committed to the trip because their children were so excited. We brought David in about a year before and he shared about Belize and the needs there. Kids were fired up about the possibility of going to serve.

3. Create a timeline for deadlines before the trip. We learned an awful lot about how to do this better. Here is a rough timeline for our 2012 trip:

10 months out: Initial interest meeting – share plans, cost information, and answer questions
6 months out: Non-refundable deposits due, with payments due each month.
4 months out: Purchase plane tickets.
3 months out: First of monthly team meetings to plan specifics of ministry; make sure everyone has immunizations
2 months out: team meetings/begin to collect supplies
1 month out: every other week meetings; finalize packing list; provide family devotional for the next 30 days.
2 weeks out: organize and pack supplies; finalize travel plans and details; organize 24 hour prayer “wall”

4. Help families prepare physically and spiritually. When you plan a trip that includes kids, you have to think through physical concerns even more. Gather and inform families about needed immunizations or medications. Talk to children about keeping their hands out of their mouths, not eating or drinking “unauthorized” food, and not to pet stray animals. More importantly, provide resources for your families to grow and pray together as they prepare. We did a simple devotional that prompted families to ask each other key questions and pray together for specific parts of the trip.

5. Teach and practice flexibility. We began emphasizing the word “flexibility” at our very first team meeting. Any mission trip requires an understanding that the Lord’s plans are not ours and that there will always be unexpected bumps and surprises. When you throw kids into the mix, you increase the level of flexibility needed. Everyone needs to understand that this won’t be an intensive trip for adults. You will have to take more breaks and you will have to move at a slower pace. There are little legs trying to keep up! You will have to incorporate fun. You will have to understand when a kid melts down or falls asleep through the evening wrap up. You also have to be well aware that what may be an “interruption” to us is God’s unique and perfect plan that will end up being much better than our plan anyway!

Podcast #13 Family Ministry and the End of Children’s Ministry?

Tony Kummer — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 19:32:06 +0000

Dr. Timothy Paul Jones teaches at Southern Seminary

Will new interest in family discipleship somehow distract churches from doing kids ministry? Does embracing family ministry require your church to add new programs?

These are common concerns for many church leaders. This podcast explores those issues with Dr. Timothy Paul Jones. He is a teacher and writer who has studied these topics in depth. You can learn more about him from his biography page at Southern Seminary.

Directions: To listen to this audio recording, simply click the play button below or download the MP3 audio file.

In the podcast, we mentioned the Family Ministry blog at Southern Seminary and the new Family Ministry Field Guide. If you’d like to leave a comment, simply click here.

Children’s Ministry Versus Family Ministry?

Guest Writer — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 13:16:43 +0000

This guest post was contributed by Lynda Freeman who blogs at About the Children’s Department.

Children’s Ministry versus Family Ministry – there is so much debate about this. Should we focus on the children or the families? I wonder why we have to make a choice between the two. I believe in Deuteronomy 6 God clearly instructs families to:

“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Certainly these are specific instructions to parents as we do not all live in one humongous building where we all are “sitting at home” together and are all “walking along the road” together and are all lying “down” together. Parents are the ones who are there for the day-in-day-out living of our lives. Clearly they are instructions to parents.

I don’t believe however; that these verses mean God doesn’t intend for us to be a community of believers who also join in on teaching children what it means and looks like to love Him with all our heart, soul and strength – with our whole selves! This “joining in” can have different focuses. First, do we equip parents to do as God clearly instructs in Deuteronomy 6? Over my years in children’s ministry I had so many parents who were completely at a loss as to how to do this. It is fully appropriate for us to equip parents so they can be the primary teachers of their children.

We can also join in by being intentional in our ministries and building on and reinforcing what the parents are teaching their children. This is where a vision statement comes in. What is it we want to accomplish in our children’s ministries? What is our plan to get there? When we join up with the parents by equipping and coming alongside them, we will experience real and measurable results. This matters so much, because if you read in Psalm 78 you will find the results we can be assured of if we do not intentionally join up with the parents to model to children what it means to love God with our whole selves.

So, how can we do this? Obviously there are many excellent ways we can be intentional in our ministries and in “joining in” with the parents, but one idea I like involves modeling to parents how to engage their children and how to then live what they learned! Consider my Bible Journey Events. I’m working on completing 12 Bible Journey Events where parents and children work together to prepare, present and participate together in an event for families in the church and community so they can experience God’s Word together. Not only will families experience God’s Word together, but they will also be able to serve Him together by helping with the event and by participating in a service project to help families in the community. You only need one or two people to head this event up and then recruit families, teens and single people . . . anyone in your church to help with a specific portion of the event! Families can sign up to help with decorating or be involved in the Bible dramas. They might help lead an activity or be part of a praise team. Anyone can commit to being part of the prayer team – there is something for everyone to do to help and one of the cool parts is entire families – parents and children – can help together!

I’m delighted to give you my “Resurrection Sunday Bible Journey” . . . it is an event with four stations families “journey” through to learn what Resurrection Sunday is all about. They will learn why Jesus prayed in the Garden. They will discover what happened when Jesus was arrested and put on trial. They will hear how Jesus died on the cross for an “end” none of us would have chosen and then celebrate as they learn how “the end” was really the “beginning”! In the party room families will celebrate this new beginning as they present the canned and boxed foods they brought for families in need. Each station involves families in learning, activity and discussion so this isn’t just another “event”, but rather an opportunity for everyone to come together to learn how the Resurrection was the greatest event in the history of the world!

We need to look for opportunities to do exactly this . . . come together to engage, reach and equip the children and parents – the families in our churches and communities, “so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.”

Resurrection Sunday Bible Journey for Families (Download Here)

Guest Writer — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 11:43:58 +0000

This guest post was contributed by Lynda Freeman who blogs at About the Children’s Department.

Bible Journeys provide unique opportunities for families to work together to provide special events where church and community families can experience God’s Word together and come to understand what it means and how to live it in their everyday lives!

Resurrection Sunday Bible Journey is an event with four stations families “journey” through to learn what Resurrection Sunday is all about. They will learn why Jesus prayed in the Garden. They will discover what happened when Jesus was arrested and put on trial. They will hear how Jesus died on the cross for an “end” none of us would have chosen and then celebrate as they learn how “the end” was really the “beginning”! In the party room families will celebrate this new beginning as they present the canned and boxed foods they brought for families in need. Each station involves families in learning, activity and discussion so this isn’t just another “event”, but rather an opportunity for everyone to learn how the Resurrection was the greatest event in the history of the world!

Directions: Click here to download the complete directions and curriculum for this event. It’s a 36 page document that includes drama, crafts, and everything you need to plan this special family experience. Just print the file and start planning.

Editor’s Note: If you plan to use this resource please leave a comment below to let us know. You can also upload photos from your event to our Facebook page to share with others.

8 Simple Christmas Activities for Families

Guest Writer — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 15:52:33 +0000

This is guest post sent to us from Michelle Bailey from the Congregational Church of Topsfield. Submit your articles to Tony@Ministry-To-Children.com

Often the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season leaves less time than we’d like to enjoy and celebrate. We’ve complied a list of simple not to add to your already stressful week, but help our church families remember the true meaning of Christmas.

1. Follow the Magi – Give Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh?

The Magi brought Jesus 3 gifts, gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Ask Santa for 3 gifts or see if Santa can deliver only 3 gifts.

Purchase 3 small gifts for stockings to represent the gifts of the wisemen – chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil for gold, a scented item for frankincense (candle/lip balm/lotion/soap/scratch’n sniff stickers, etc.), maple candy for myrrh (a type of harden tree sap use as incense)

2. Create a Good Deeds Manger

Need: small box, brown paper (construction or bag), hay (yarn, pipe cleaners, raffia), small doll or picture of a baby

Instructions:

Wrap the outside of a small box with the brown construction paper.
Use the markers or paint to make the paper look like slats of wood (draw lines, knot holes, etc.)
Tie the pipe cleaners or straw into a bundle using the ribbon or raffia.

To use your “good deeds” manger:

Place the manger in a prominent spot (such as the center of the dining table or coffee table). Put the bundle of pipe cleaners or straw near the manger. Have your family get together and talk about the good deeds they’ve done during the day. For every good deed done, a person gets to place one “straw” in the manger. On Christmas Eve, place baby Jesus in the manger, on the soft bed you have built for him with your good deeds!

3. Get a Crèche for your kids-

Give your kids their own creche. Buy one from Playmobil, Little People or www.christianbooks.com or make one from Legos, PlayDoh, or even paper.

Let kids retell the story during their playtime or perform for you.
Play a hide and seek game with the wisemen.
Use the Baby Jesus as your Good Deeds Manger Doll.

4. The Empty Gift?

Two years ago I was teaching Sunday School for grades 1 and 2. The kids were so excited about Christmas and we were talking about family traditions. A girl said she had a good idea for a family tradition. She said, “What if you wrapped an empty box and put it under the tree. Then when it was opened, everyone would think their mom made a mistake. But then you could tell everyone that the box wasn’t really empty because Jesus is everywhere so he would be in the box too.”

I thought that was such a clever idea from such a young child, so that Christmas I wrapped an empty box and put it under the tree. Indeed, everyone looked around at me when the box was unwrapped and there was nothing inside. When I explained that Jesus was in the box, since he is everywhere, everyone in the room paused. It made us stop and remember the true meaning of Christmas in the frantic midst of opening gifts. Now it is one of our family traditions. Thank you, Becca T.!

5. The Stocking Prayer

When packing your stockings, write a prayer thanking God for the blessings of this year and ask for one thing in the New Year. Next year, you can find the prayer and see how God blesses and answers prayer throughout the year.

6. Happy Birthday, Jesus.

Our family bakes a chocolate cake on Christmas then decorates it like a birthday cake. After dinner we sing happy birthday to Jesus and blow out the candles. The boys enjoy blowing out the advent candles all month long, so blowing out the birthday candles is just another part of advent.

7. Read Books About Christmas – Give a Book for Christmas

When searching for Christmas books at Amazon.com or in the special section at the bookstore, there are many great traditional stories that retell the story of the first Christmas. It can be overwhelming, so we’ve compiled a list of books to consider to read or give as gifts.

The Advent Book http://www.adventbook.com/adventbook.html is more than a story; it’s a beautiful work of art to celebrate advent each year with your whole family.

Birth to 3:

Books by Crystal Bowman: J is for Jesus, My Christmas Gift, Jesus, Me and My Christmas Tree.

PreK – 3^rd grade

Books by Tomie DePaola: The Legend of the Poinsettia, The Legend of Old Befana , The Night of Las Posadas , Tomie’s Little Christmas Pageant, The Story of the Three Wise Kings
Books by Max Lucado: The Crippled Lamb, Alabaster’s Song: Christmas through the Eyes of an Angel, Jacob’s Gift

The Parable Series: The Pine Tree Parable by Liz Curtis Higgs
Santa, Are You For Real? by Harold Lawrence Myra
Who Is Coming to Our House? (Board Book) by Joseph Slate
The Legend Of The Three Trees – by Catherine McCafferty
The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg
Christmas Tapestry by Patricia Polacco
Why Christmas Trees Aren’t Perfect by Dick Schneider, Richard H. Schneider, Elizabeth J. Miles
We Believe in Christmas by Karen Kingsbury, Daniel J. Brown
God Gave Us Christmas by Lisa Tawn Bergren

Older Elementary School Students

One Wintry Night by Ruth Bell Graham
The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey by Susan Wojciechowski, Patrick James Lynch (Illustrator)
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson and Judith Gwyn Brown

8. Celebrate Epiphany

Take time to undecorate your tree and home together.
Hamilton, MA has a place at the back of Patton Park for residents to drop-off their Christmas Trees between Dec. 26 and Jan. 6. At 6pm on Jan. 6, the Christmas trees (along with a few dozen wooden pallets) are set ablaze by the fire department. Start a bonfire tradition in your community. Or for this year, build a fire at home using the stump or branches from your Christmas Tree.
Slice a small disc-shape off the end of your Christmas tree’s stump. Sand it and drill a hole in it to make into a decoration for next year’s tree.
On Jan. 5^th, read the Legend of Old Befana by Tomie De Paola. Have Befana leave you children a small gift overnight to find on Epiphany.
Make a kings cake or cupcakes. Make a small cut in the cake or one cupcake to hide a small bean or trinket. Then frost with yellow/gold frosting and decorate like a kings crown using “ jewels” like skittles, silver balls, jimmies, etc. A Bundt cake would look great. Who ever finds the bean, gets to be the King of Dinner, sitting at the head of the table.

What You Should Know About Group’s “Family Hour”

Emily A Mullens — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:38:55 +0000

Click this image to visit the Group's official website for this material

Group Publishing has something new for families. Their Fun-for-the-Whole-Family Hour is exactly that – an hourlong event for families to interact, share, discover, laugh, and explore together. This particular theme includes clips from the upcoming Narnia film “Voyage of the Dawn Treader”.

Not just cost effective at $19.99, it is extremely efficient, with just the essentials necessary to host a quality event. Group makes it very simple for leaders. I was able to read through and understand everything in a matter of minutes. It seemed like such an easy event, that I decided to “test” it to see just how easy it could be to host. I did this with virtually no preparation on my part to prove how easy you could still do this event before the movie opens.

Group Makes Planning This Event Easy

I selected a date and was able to quickly copy a bulletin insert from the data CD, adding our church’s information. I blew up the insert on the church copier and made a “poster” to plaster all over the church and community. I was not able to copy a sign up sheet for attendees, and had to make my own, but that only took an additional 15 minutes. There is a form for recruiting volunteers. For each 50 attendees I would recommend 1 -2 volunteers.

I purchased the family expedition packets at amazon.com for $4.79 and received a free one for every three packs I purchased. They really are essential to the program as the majority of the family time uses the materials. It is certainly a good value. The cool water reveal map intrigues even the toughest of 5th grade boys and the backside has additional activities for families to do at home. The CD uses songs from past Group VBS curriculums. The kids really enjoyed singing some of their old favorites again, but I would have liked something from the movie as well.

I made arrangements for a “few good men” from our men’s group to come in early in the week and set up the set. We rebuilt our Group VBS “High Seas” set in 30 minutes! I loved being able to reuse the VBS set from this year’s High Seas Expedition — I would suggest to Group to put a really obvious note in their VBS curriculum for leaders to save the set if they do this again.

I ran copies of the drama script for 2 of my middle schoolers and distributed it to them. I used volunteers from the audience to hold up the “curtain”. It was a simple script with no lines to memorize. There are a few props that can be gathered from home. I was concerned that the “gimmick” in the skit would detract from the message, but Group again, hits the target and the message comes through crystal clear.

The Narnia clips were true teasers and the kids can’t wait to see more of what happens to Edmund, Lucy, and Eustace. We served popcorn, having asked the local movie theater to donate the cardboard kid packs that hold popcorn, a small packet of m&ms and a soda. It took about 15 minutes to pop corn and assemble the kid packs for 50 people. This was a easy clean up snack.

I was able to gather the other in minutes. I led the event, using the leader’s script which was well written; interchanging between songs, family discussion, and movie clips. I intentionally did not read the script prior to the event to see if it could be done cold. I wouldn’t recommend this approach, but it was so well written, it sounded well rehearsed.

After the event, it took our volunteers 20 minutes to strike the set, and clean the worship center.

I hope this stands as a testimony to how quickly and easily a quality event can be achieved and encourages leaders to give this a go before the movie hits theaters on December 15. I did this with virtually no preparation on my part to prove how easy you could still do this event before the movie opens. As the event is easy-to-plan, it could also be adapted for Sunday School, midweek, for individual families to do at home, or even for life groups to do. This is a great opportunity for outreach to the community, and a great way to engage families and spark faith discussions. Our kids are all fired up about the movie and are trying to plan a church field trip!

Bottom Line…

Group has once again earned my trust, knowing I can count on them to deliver a clear, concise, and easy to host event that has a life impacting message. I hope Group continues to offer these easy to do, fun-for-the-whole family hour events.

Here is a promo-video about this product. You can learn more or purchase this material on Group’s website.

Gabbit Game: A toy that gets the family talking

Tony Kummer — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 14:52:21 +0000

"Gabbit" is a new game for families from Group Publishing

A few weeks back, Group Publishing sent me a new toy for families called “Gabbit.” It’s a handheld game that can be played almost anywhere. We tried it out in our home and has become one of our favorite.

It’s really a simple concept. Just press the button and answer the question. We liked to pass it around and let each child have a turn, but you could also have everyone answer the same question. Here is the video my kids wanted to make about the Gabbit toy:

Christian parents will like the questions about faith. These were typically simple and started some great conversations. The key is asking follow-up questions. Any question could be a way to talk about God and the Bible if you’re intentional with the Gabbit.

Even without the religious element, spending time listening to my kids was a valuable experience. Family life can be too busy and defending relationship time is essential. Gabbit makes that easy because it’s simple enough for all the kids to play, even while driving in the car.

I could also see this as a church ministry tool. You could use it at the beginning or end of Sunday School class to build relationships. I tried it as a children’s church game when the grown up service ran long, but the group was a little too large.

The Gabbit game is available directly from Group, you can also learn more about Gabbit on facebook.

Intergenerational Ministry and the Family

Kara Jenkins — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 17:06:58 +0000

In my last article (posted quite a bit ago), I presented the biblical or theological imperatives for intergenerational (IG) ministry. This article will begin to cover the practical imperatives for IG ministry. The practical imperatives include uniting the fragmented family, embracing the scriptural role of the biological family as well as the family of faith, promoting the unity of the body, and nurturing the faith of every generation. Out of these four imperatives, uniting the fragmented family and embracing the role of the biological and faith family will be discussed.

Constantly separating the generations within the church can contribute to the current fragmentation of the nuclear family in today’s culture. Intergenerational ministry seeks to overcome the segregation of the nuclear family through intentionally uniting the family at church.

In order for congregations to see the importance of a unifying, IG approach to ministry, we must recognize the current state of the nuclear family culturally. Kehrwald (2007) states, “The pressures, challenges, and realities facing families today make it difficult for them to intentionally grow in faith together” (p. 12). Congregations have contributed to the segregation of the family by

over-emphasizing age-segregated programming, which further divides families, and over-programming family members. Oftentimes there is little to no programming that engages the entire family as a family, or that empowers and equips parents for their task as the primary religious teachers of their children and teens. Sadly, many churches blame parents for the situation or have given up on families, “because they don’t come to Sunday worship or the programs we offer, so why bother.” (Roberto, 2007, p. 21)

Merhaut (2007) emphasizes,

We spend far too much of our time, talent, and treasure creating church programs that produce poor to fair attendance, while families are struggling to make sense out of the often chaotic pace of modern living. The church program ends up being just one more appointment on an already overloaded schedule. (p. 42)

Culturally, the family is severely divided. Meyers (2006) points out that, “In 1930 the average child spent three to four hours [a day] with an adult member of the family. In the 1990s, that time shrunk to roughly fourteen minutes” (p. 20). The church should be a place where believers unite as the body of Christ, but instead of experiencing Christian community, many churches “creatively divide…at every opportunity” (p. 55). Intergenerational ministry provides an opportunity for churches to unite families that are distant emotionally and spiritually, bringing them together under the headship of Christ.

Constant age segregation also aids the phenomenon of the church becoming the primary means of nurturing children spiritually. George Barna “found in his nationwide study that 9 out of 10 parents believe they have the primary responsibility for teaching their children the scriptures. While this is encouraging, his study also found that the vast majority of parents do not spend a single minute of time in any given week teaching their children the scriptures” (Bulls, p. 5). Boyatzis (2004) asserts that Moses’ words in Deuteronomy 6:7 declare parents’ call from Scripture to “search for the sacred all day and night, in all contexts” (p. 183). Beckwith (2004) emphasizes the fact that God was reinforcing to the Israelites in this particular passage that “parents are in the best position of anyone to communicate the things of faith to their children” (p. 107). Dividing the church into homogenous groups has resulted in a loss of parental responsibility for the spiritual nurture of their children. Bulls (2007) summarizes the last 40 years of ministry:

…churches have come to realize that parents are not training their children in the scripture; the churches have responded by adding and funding youth and children’s ministries to train children in the scriptures. While the Church has responded with good motives, the Church’s solution has led to the parents being replaced as the chief spiritual adviser to their children… (p. 2)

Huebsh (2008) states, “As long as we keep ‘doing it for them,’ parents will never step up and become the person primarily responsible for the faith of their children…by continually replacing parents teachers at the church, we have unfortunately taught the parents that their role is minor. In fact, though, their role is irreplaceable” (p. 47). If we believe the family is in fact responsible for the primary faith nurture and development of their children, then the church has the critical role of intentionally forming environments in which families can be together in Christian settings and intentionally forming the adults of the church in a way that matures them to nurture their children in love and grace at home. This accomplishment can occur when churches become intergenerational.

Along with the biblical evidence of the parents’ role in developing their the faith of their children, we have to consider the role of the faith family in Scripture. Jesus makes radical statements concerning the family in the New Testament. The new Christian community is described in family terms using the Greek word oikeios, the “household.” Family is at the core of the new relationship between the Christian, God, and fellow believers. Throughout Christian history, confusion has taken place over how to interpret Jesus’ challenging statements about the family. In reference to Mark 3:31-35, Miller-McLemore (2007) states, “It is not that Jesus does not love his mother or cherish families; other Scripture passages suggest otherwise….But Jesus had a larger vision in mind. He disclaims his own family to proclaim a new family of believers defined not by birth but by commitment to doing God’s will” (pp. 4-5). In an attempt to resolve this ambiguous legacy, early church theologians set up what Miller-McLemore calls a “two-tier spiritual path” (p. 5), meaning families were left behind in order to pursue a higher, spiritual calling. Influential fourth century Christian leaders had differing perspectives concerning the family. St. Jerome viewed the life of a family as an impediment to religious enlightenment, while St. Augustine of Hippo and John Chrysostom saw family “as part of God’s good creation, and, in Chrysotom’s case, believed families were as important as monastic communities in putting key virtues into practice” (p. 5).

A consistent definition of family is needed in order for an effective intergenerational ministry to form and transcend this tension. From Mark 3:31-35, Thompson (1996) emphasizes that the family is not to be idolized, nor is it to be devalued, stating, “The priority of the kingdom of God does not devalue but revalues the family in light of a larger truth…the kinship family fulfills its genuine potential as a ‘type’ of God’s sacrificial love only to the extent that it embodies the priorities of the kingdom and the values of the new community” (p. 134). Garland (1999) embraces the functional definition of family as opposed to the structural definition. She states that the functional definition reflects Jesus’ teaching, “For followers of Christ are not to be bound by the structures of legally recognized or biologically based relationships. Rather, family relationships are defined by relationship process—loving one another, being faithful to the same Lord, and adopting one another as brothers and sisters in the household of faith (p. 50). Fraze (2009) provides the following definition:

The functional definition of family honors and values the significance of the traditional family unit while acknowledging the place for single parents, divorced individuals, singles and others within the faith community. This calls the community of faith to offer hope for those hurt by structural family relationships by providing a family in which healing and acceptance are found. (p. 6)

From my research, it is clear that in order to become intergenerational, two things have to be understood. First, families are the forming center of faith that have the potential to reflect Christ’s kingdom as the domesticate church. Second, the gathered body of Christ is the extended family of believers. Neither can be idolized or devalued.

Intergenerational ministry seeks to reflect the role of the nuclear family and faith family with intentionality through embracing all ages in interactive community. In reference to intergenerational small groups, Kirk (2003) states,

Family life continues in the intergenerational group; everyone is involved, and the unity of the family is preserved. The interaction between cell members becomes a lifestyle which involved everyone, and the family can continue the interaction at home with shared vision, shared experiences and shared community. Parents are able to see and encourage their children as they develop their gifts in the cell and the home. Instead of fragmentation, there is an inclusive flow between cell and home. (pp. 16-17)

Intergenerational ministry unites the biological family as well as the faith family. Kirk illustrates the faith family that has the potential of forming in intergenerational contexts:

Where families have been separated, a group provides a re-creation of family where everyone has their own unique place, yet all learn to live with godly values together. Today many are isolated from their own family, and many have no family at all. If people are privileged to be in a situation where this is not so, they have something precious to share with those who are not so fortunate. Whatever our situation, we need each other to give to and to receive from. (p. 16)

Families need to be a part of an intentional intergenerational faith community, a community where their children interact with other adults and form significant relationships with those outside of their family, while the bonds of their family unit are strengthened. Parents need to form relationships with children who are not their own. Singles of all ages must feel a sense of belonging within the body of Christ. Children who do not have believing families must be embraced as an integral part of the family of God. This family transcends the boundaries of the structural family, and it is within this context that true faith nurture can take place effectively. Becoming intergenerational unites the family as a structural unit in the midst of strengthening the eternal bonds of the new family, Christ’s bride, the church.

Reference

Beckwith, I. (2004). Postmodern children’s ministry: Ministry to children in the 21st century. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Boyatzis, C. J. (2004). The Co-construction of spiritual meaning in parent-child communication. In D. Ratcliff (Ed.), Children’s spirituality: Christian perspectives, research, and applications (pp. 182-197). Eugene, OR: Cascade Books.

Bulls, T. (2007). Troubling trends in youth and children’s ministry. Guymon, OK: First Baptist Church. (Unpublished, received from Ryan Galdamez, youth and family pastor, GBC).

Fraze, D. (2009). Something is not right: Revisiting our definition of family. The Fuller Youth Institute. Retrieved on April 10, 2009 from http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/2009/01/something-is-not-right/trackback/Email / Share.

Garland, D. R. (1999). Family ministry. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic.

Huebsch, B. (2008). Coaching parents to form their own children. Lifelong Faith, 2(4), 46-48.

Kirk, D. (2003). Heirs together: Establishing intergenerational church. Suffolk, Great Britain: Kevin Mayhew.

Kehrwald, L. (2007). Faith formation with families in today’s church. Lifelong faith, 1(2), 12-20.

Merhaut, J. (2007). Transforming faith formation one family at a time. Lifelong faith, 1(2), 41-49.

Meyers, P. (2006). Live, learn, pass it on: The practical benefits of generations growing together in faith. Nashville, TN: Discipleship Resources.

Roberto, J. (2007). Best practices in family faith formation. Lifelong Faith, 1(3), 21-33.

Thompson, M. J. (1996). Family: The forming center. Nashville: Upper Room Books.