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Is homeschooling right for my son? For our family, the answer was not as simple as you might think. My oldest son starts first grade next week. I am a full time Children’s pastor – and get to hear plenty of strong opinions on both sides of the issue. Many of our friends want us to join the Christian homeschooling movement. But I need to know what is right for my son?
To help decide, I’ve made this list of pros and cons. This is my homeshcooling verses public schooling list. In our town, we have an excellent public school system, a new Christian school and a strong homeschooling community. I’ve ruled out the private Christian school because of its price. I’d love to hear what you think about this list. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.
Christian Homeschooling Pros
- Christian Homeschooling Curriculum: The whole homeschooling program facilitates learning. It seems like Christian homeschooling can provide an excellent education. There is so much supporting material on the internet. Crosswalk.com provides online homeschooling resources. You might also like LifeWay’s homeschool resource page. I’ve started a list of home school curriculum
- Homeschooling would give us more family time. Kids spend so much time in public schools that they become strangers to their parents. Christian homeschooling would allow us to spend time with our son during these short years.
- Christian values are a part of Christian homeschooling curriculum. All parents must teach the Bible to their children. But homeschooling curriculum would add a whole new level of religious education.
- Christian homeschooling provides a high level of safety. Public schools can be dangerous both physically and emotionally for children. Peer interaction often tends toward bullying. Homeschooling would clearly protect my son.
Christian Homeschooling Cons
- Homeschooling would reduce my son’s opportunities to make friends outside of our church. He is a pastor’s kid and spends almost too much time with other Christian children.
- My son loves his school. After kindergarten, he couldn’t wait to go back for more. I’m sure he would love homeschooling but he definitely is a social guy.
- Christian homeschooling would reduce my contacts with unbelievers. As a Children’s pastor it seems like all I do is talk to other Christian parents. Getting involved in public school means getting involved with unchurched families.
- Homeschooling would not give my son experience dealing with with ‘worldly people.’ Dealing with mean people is a skill that kids must learn. Christian homeschooling would protect my son from these people. But only for a little while.
Is Christian Homeschooling The Answer?
After serious consideration, we think public school is right for our son. I know some of you will disagree with me. But several our Christian friends teach at our school. We also get involved. So, this will be a year-by-year decision. I’m sure we’ll be having these same talks next year.
What about you? Are you involved in Christian homeschooling?
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Tony,
I am surprised at some of the responses you’ve received above. I also attend Bethlehem Baptist and work with the youth there, and I work at Children Desiring God as well. FYI, while there are many who have wisely chosen to homeschool at our church, there are also many who have wisely chosen to carefully moniter their children’s public or private school education as well. All of these parents believe that they have prayerfully chosen before God what is best for their particular children at this particular time, and all believe God will hold them accountable to their decisions. No one is “less” or “more” spiritual or loves their children “less” or “more” on account of which educational option they’ve chosen. Likewise, although some of the public and private school kids are rebellious, some of the homeschool kids are also rebellious. And while some of the homeschool kids are not very well adjusted, there are some who are quite well-adjusted, and public/private school kids can also go either way. My point is simply — God alone has control over how your children turn out. Sheltering them in no way guarantees they will turn out ok — because sin is not an external problem of environment, but rather an issue of the human heart. Likewise, sending them out into public or private schools does not guarantee that they will prove to be salt and light there — again, this is an issue determined by the work of God in the human heart. May the Lord be with you as you seek to honor Him!
Tony
I enjoy your blog, and you have a tough decision to make. When my kids were young – the youngest is now 15, you basically had two types of peolpe that homeschooled – the old hippies and granola eaters who still dont trust “da man” and the christian fundamentalists who also dont trust “da Man”. We were fortunate to be able to send our kids to a good solid Christian School that is very solid academically – oldest kid doing very well now at THE University of Texas. My sisters who are younger and have younger kids decided to try homeschooling. One did great, the other failed. Both tried their hardest to make it work, the one that failed, had very social kids who really missed the social interaction.
We have several families in our church who homeschool, once again it goes well for some and for others, not so much.
I would agree that it is a year to year proposition, if you decide not to do it, it does not make you any less a Christian, nor does it mean your kids are going to turn out to be drug infested gangbangers. Just like homeschooling does not guarantee that your kids will be perfect Christians. Like me you will find that you increase your odds a bit, as you do not typically have gangs in your house (making a huge guess here :) ) Nor do we have them in our Christian school – but we have most of the other problems that kids everywhere have – low self esteem, cliques, a bit of drinking from time to time etc.
All that said, we have many kids in our church that are products of the public school – they are GREAT KIDS from great families. Their parents are very involved in thier lives, they have been in AP type classes and have learned to live in a tough culture.
Wow – didnt mean to take up so much space.
My prayers are with you
JIm
Kyle,
Thanks for stopping by and thanks for your thoughtful questions. These are all definitely issues we I need to consider more deeply.
It’s your duty and responsibility to educate your child in whatever way you see fit. I honor and respect your rights as a father, but please consider the following:
(1) Do you want the BEST possible education for your son? If so, do you believe that the public school will provide it?
(2) Do you want your son to soak up a secular (at best) or anti-Christian (at worst) worldview for 6 or more hours a day, five days a week?
(3) Do you want him to learn by example that God is for Sunday and has nothing to do with Monday through Friday? Do you want him to learn by example that God has nothing to do with nature, with history, with art, with music, with literature, or with any other subject?
(4) Do you think he is equipped at his age to challenge what he is told and what he reads about evolution, human sexuality, cultural diversity, environmentalism, and other “hot button” topics that he will encounter?
i read somewhere years ago that in the average public school class the teacher only teaches about 3 hours- the rest is all that other inevitable stuff that comes with managing a group of kids. I thought, hey- i can teach for 3 hours a day… we’ve been at it since kindergarten. so far, mostly so good! i have days when i consider calling the dr. for a xanax Rx, but at the end of the day (or week) we feel it’s the best thing for us. feel free to email me anytime- or drop back by my blog- (thanks for coming by!)
Thanks for your comments. I definitely see your point about extra curricular activities. I hadn’t even considered that. We are learning as we go – like all parents.
The education quality is probably my biggest concern. I’ve done some substitute teaching on my off day from church and found that a lot of public school time is used to ‘pass time.’ Then you add special needs children to a classroom and some kids have to slow their pace of learning just to keep the class together.
Tony,
(I found you through blogs4god)
We homeschool our daughter, 3rd grade this year. We’re Christians (part time staff at our church) but we made the decision to homeschool as much for educational reasons as anything else. i applaud your serious and prayerful consideration of this decision.
I suspect you’ll find as your kids get a little older that extra-curricular activities will engage them with all types of people, and that wanting to expose them to folks outside of church won’t be as difficult as you think it is now. It’s pretty easy to get involved in community sports outside of homeschool groups. In fact, we intentionally avoid being involved in only homeschool group activities for some of the same reasons you voiced. On the other hand, we see some kids- even at church- who are clearly succumbing to negative peer pressure and think, gee, it’s nice that we aren’t having to battle that every day. (It still comes up, just not as often.)
anyway- i just wanted to say you seem to be doing great at weighing it all out. if you change your mind, next year is another opportunity. the bottom line is that good solid parenting makes all the difference regardless of educational choices, and if you’re already thinking this carefully through it all, you’re on the right track. blessings.
My personal beliefs:
1) People who feel “judged” because other disagree with their decisions probably have an inner problem of their own. If you made up your mind, stop yelling “judgemental-ism” at those who don’t.
2) World War I had the “Dough Boys” These were men dropped into a war with no training against an enemy that was well trained. They were slaughtered and history is still judging those who failed to prepare for war during peace time.
– sheltering children is our job until they are trained. That is how I see it. Putting them in the midst of the battle all alone is silly. Boot camp and training isn’t done on the battle field.
3.) The number one reason to home school is for social reasons. Children do not learn proper social skills surrounded by 25 other children their own age. We sent our daughter to 2nd grade at a local Christian school and were able to see our assumptions proven. When she interacted with children of all ages and adults all the time, she developed wonderful social skills. When she was around only 8 year olds, she became clickish and had a hard time dealing with younger children and adults. Now we are back to being at home and thankfully that has changed back, but it was a real lesson in the problems inherent in grouping same age children together.
Personally, I don’t care where you choose to send your children, that is your God given responsibility and if you do it with a lot of forethought and invest in your children’s lives, then great.
— Well, now that I am already on the soap box…cut the stupid cord to the T.V. too. It’s amazing what a difference it will make in your family life!!!!
I was at a large Bible Study and the leader asked what influences were affecting your children. Not one of them pertained to our family. All these people were moaning about how horribly difficult it was to raise children with all of these competing influences, they were at their wits end, yet mention that maybe they could decide to remove the negative and suddenly your a judgemental jerk.
MJH
Chuck,
Thanks for your insights. The whole ‘man coach’ angle is helpful. I definitely agree with what you said about public schools not being neutral.
Scott,
Thanks for your detailed discussion. Maybe we can get together at school tomorrow and hash it over coffee. I think we have the same Monday night theology class.
Glen,
Thanks for your encouragement. I’m actually glad to have some disagreement on this question. I might explore this topic more in future posts. I’ve had the same conversations with our homeschooling friends too. At this point I’m glad to learn from the criticisms.
Thanks for your prayers.
Tony, I see what you mean about other people putting pressure on you. Obviously they are responding to what you typed, which is fine. You seem to be weathering the feedback with your usual gracious style.
It is interesting how some have chosen to assume things as well, especially the comments about you wanting your children to hang out with gangs and thugs and questioning what your wife might think of this, as well as making strong statements over what they perceive as the limited validity of your views.
Over the past few days I had a range of responses to the “gangs and thugs” comment, from sadness to a sense of irony, since it is basically replicating the strawman argument which they accuse you of constructing. That is the disadvantage of text based communication. It always comes across harsher than we might intend, especially when there is disagreement. Anyway, some of the comments seem to have validity, especially in terms of public schools not being religion neutral.
I appreciate the privilege you give all of us in inviting us to participate in discussion! I will be praying for you.
Blessings,
Glen Woods
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