Comments on: That Kid – Dealing with Disobedient Children

By: Tracy Colligan

Tracy Colligan — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 00:47:08 +0000

Excellent advice!!

By: Tracy Colligan

Tracy Colligan — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 00:46:25 +0000

I believe that these children belong in church too. Most likely they behave the same way in school, but the rules are different. We don’t know what happens before they come in and they are only children. To get respect, you must give respect, and that is the very first place to start. Sometimes, you need a “good cop”- “bad cop” situation. But above all, we must remember that Jesus came to minister to the sick- spiritually. It is our responsibility to still love and lovingly discipline the child. Lift them in prayer! Gather whatever teachers you have available and place them before the King. He created them and knows them better than any one of us can!! Jesus loves the little children!! (notice it does not say obedient lovely children- it just says children)

By: Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:50:47 +0000

Pray for these children, and get a prayer chain started for them, and then pray some more.

By: Bradley Cox

Bradley Cox — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 14:47:09 +0000

Years ago I was given this piece of advice. A mentor said, “If you do two things you will eliminate 90% of all discipline issues.” “1. Show the kids that you genuinly care, 2.Present a lesson that keeps them engaged.”
This has proven to be good advice on many occasions. Most of the discipline issues I have encountered began with boredom. I have encountered only a few troubled kids. Things like visiting them at home, calling them by name, and giving them a job in your classroom can help. I completely understand the urge to ban a kid from class but I am concerned that if I do so I may turn that kid away from Christ forever. Love never fails.

By: Lilian L. Vico

Lilian L. Vico — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:44:49 +0000

Working with kids all these years is a continues discovery of what works and what not. I always says that children are the most interesting species and the most special creation of God. As a minister of the God to the children, I find so fascinating how one kid evolved every week. One week this kid can be so saint-like and the next week can be a Philistine. But one thing that any kid can understand is real, genuine love. No matter how they act up and you discipline them, they will continue to come to church week by week. Why? Because they knew every week is a new beginning to them. So what is the most effective way of disciplining the kid? There is no such thing as the best way. Kids will always be kids and we should not expect more. Yes, they should know boundaries … before the the church starts repeat with them the rules and the after effect of disobeying the rules. Follow through with the discipline that they understand from the beginning will happen. Kids in general are good, they love to impress adults by showing them good behavior or by acting up. Never the less, we who ministered to them every week will know how to deal with the unexpected.
One thing that works with me well, is to know the learning character of my kids and work with that. If my kids is auditory learner, I let them assign in leading the worship songs. If they are visual learner, they are my stand- by actors. If they are kinesthetic learner, I have several stress ball on-hand for them. As I have mentioned only us who works with our group of kids can understand and discover ways to reach out to them.

By: s jeffers

s jeffers — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:51:23 +0000

wow! were these great, great insights. I frequently feel guilty about my attitude after working with disobedient children in Sunday class. I appreciate the examples of tough love given and the ideas. Plan to pass them on to others who work in the children’s program.

By: Sheryl

Sheryl — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 06:12:42 +0000

All kids need is love, a child is being disobedient for a reason. Being a parent I find it difficult giving my child all the attention that she needs and I notice that when I do not reach to her expectation she becomes disobedient. I say Take that disobedient child and just love him – embrace him with hugs let him hold your hand form a bond with him. Our children are precious we cannot afford to keep the good ones nearby and neglect those who are disobedient.

By: Diane

Diane — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 05:49:21 +0000

we are presently in a van ministry. when children misbehave ive had them write verses in age appropriate amounts. we memorize verses in awana so it seems appropriate tho we don’t want it to be a punishment and i don’t call it a punishment. I tell the kids i want them to do something for me before next weeks pickup. This past year a 1st grader with adhd repeatedly refused to obey.( She was badmouthing her little sister repeatedly ) and refused to stop. When we got to her house i talked to the mom telling her the policy was to write a verse 3 times or not be allowed to ride the van. Well, it ended up that she did not write the verses and i told her she could not ride . as her sister got on the van the other sister was having a fit. When we returned after awana to bring the one sister home. a police car was in front of the house. the dad came and escorted his daughter into the house. The next week when i contacted the mother i was told that the two girls were removed from the home. to make a long story short the mother began attending church. i visited her several times very prayerfully. She accepted the Lord as her savior. continues to come. and is hopeful of getting her children back again. She is alcoholic and a slow learner. and needs direction in self control herself.

Another time a number of years ago i was picking up children in my car wed nites. one young man about ll kept releasing the seat lever so my seat back would collapse. i pulled over to deal with him and he belligerently refused to listen, continuing to release the lever when i told him to stop, even after i stopped the car. i pulled over, as what he was doing was making my driving safety an issue. This child was unfamiliar to me i had no former relationship with him to even go by at all. I told all the children in the car that we were going to pray. I bowed my head and began to pray aloud for this young man. he continued to make snide remarks. But the Lord instantly put into my mind an idea. We had just passed the home of another youth worker i knew. i told the young man that we were going to go to this other ladies home and call his mom to pick him up unless he promised to stop right then. He said his mom would be very angry if we did that. and you know. he behaved perfectly after that. The Lord promises wisdom when we ask him for it.
Another time a 5th grader very badly behaved and out of control i picked up weekly opened the car door as we were leaving the church parking lot.. i told him when i called the next week that he was not getting a ride from me for 3 weeks but that his brother could come. the brother came. the 5th grader actually begged to come. i quietly told him no, not for three weeks. 3 weeks later he came . He also informed the other children that i meant what i said. in fact as we sat in church during the lesson he was talking. i quietly came and sat between him and the one he was talking with. and was shocked. This young man dropped his head onto my shoulder as he listened to the teacher present the lesson. That was when i realized the children want to know that adults care enough to set limits. That boy told me his father had commit suicide. A very hurting young man. i still pray for him.

By: Tony Kummer

Tony Kummer — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 03:40:17 +0000

Great post and great conversation! I wrote something about kicking a kid out of church once. It was titled "How Do You Expel A Child From Church?" There was some good comments on that post too.

By: Charlie Wallace

Charlie Wallace — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 23:08:24 +0000

Terry, you’re right about both a worker being called to shadow as well as how it is hard to expect children to obey when they are not regenerate or taught obedience.

Where I think shadows can be very helpful is when the child you are having problems with is an older preschool age (3-5 years). Most children are not saved at that point and a shadow, someone who would not mind working in that capacity, can be effective at that age.

One way to find a person to do the shadowing of an extremely difficult child is to poll church members and see if they would be willing to help if a special needs child were to attend. You’d be surprised that many church members have a heart for that type of ministry.