Over the last few years, there have been hundreds of toy recalls. Some have been poor design, but many are due to toxic materials. As a parent, I shudder to think of my little ones playing (and chewing) on toys covered in lead paint.
Every church that loves children has been equally careful to remove these toxic toys. Having a physically safe environment must be a priority for your church.
In the same way, we need to watch out for spiritually toxic practices in our ministry. These may be easy to overlook, even more so with all the practical concerns at your church. But the danger is real and toxic children’s ministry can cause long term damage and harm spiritual development.
Even as I am writing this, I can think of changes I need to make at our church. I want to encourage you to do the same. As you read, write down some action steps to help improve your own children’s ministry.
3 Toxic Mistakes Our Kids Ministry Must Avoid
1. Mistaking Bible knowledge for heart change.
Our generation is sadly lacking in biblical literacy and we must strive to be more effective in our teaching. At the same time, we must realize we are limited. The real spiritual battle is not about information. You can be sure that Satan does not worry when kids memorize the names of the 12 tribes of Israel. Our ministry must aim for heart transformation. Educators like to call this attitudinal learning or the affective domain. Too much Bible information without real heart change is toxic for a child’s soul.
2. Shrinking from the Gospel story.
The heart of Christianity is the historical events of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. These real world events (AD 30-33), forever changed the destiny of humankind. The Kingdom of God has invaded this world, and requires every person to make a choice. Without knowing this foundation, our religion becomes a sentimental way to build self-esteem. Too many kids take Jesus as their make-believe-friend with zero knowledge of the Gospel story – or who he really is. Shrinking from the Gospel story is spiritually toxic for any children’s ministry.
3. Assuming families don’t need help.
With all the talk about family discipleship, few churches actually follow-up to make sure it’s happening. This is understandable. It can be hard to discover the private spiritual health of someone’s home. It takes some boldness to hold parents accountable. If God commands parents to train their children in the faith, then Christian love requires us to get involved. Ignoring the needs of families is toxic to their spiritual health.
What would you suggest to correct these mistakes? What changes are you going to make in your own ministry? Please leave your ideas in the comment box below.
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Hello Tony,
“…materials. As a parent, I shutter to think …”
A shutter is a protective covering mounted over a window on the outside of a house. One shudders to think of the cold wind and rain that would get in without it.
Thanks for the correction. I’ll update the post!
Great article with chunks of wisdom! I was one of those who grew up with a lot of head knowledge which led me to become a very proud and critical person. I praise and thank God that He didn’t leave me that way! It took many years of God chipping away using humbling situations before it became heart knowledge.
I have learned something very valuable lately. We have to be careful to show them how to apply the knowledge, too. For instance, we’ve been studying why praising God through prayer is important. We learned that hallowing means to honor and praising means to brag on God. We studied His many names. We learned about His many attributes. But when we sat down to actually pray, the children were reluctant to do so. They “didn’t get it”. If I had skipped that very important step of applying it and practicing it, they would have had a lot of powerless head knowledge. I decided that we needed to spend just as much time practicing what we learned as we spent on learning it. I am so glad we did!
I grew up being taught not to have a head knowledge but a heart relationship. I so much agree with this. Also, I have seen that too many times in the church we become so program oriented that we block the Spirit of the Lord from freely moving. Step-by-step we follow the program that worked for someone else. But God is not about head knowledge, nor is He confined to operate within a program or preconceived idea. One pastor once told me, “You have to lead the congregation into a fast song, then a slow song, then another fast song, and a few more slow songs. . . ” He was formulating worship base upon what other churches were doing. Lord Jesus, when will we wake up and see YOU and crave for fellowshipwith YOU . . .not a formula!”
Excellent thoughts. One thing we’ve been doing that needs to be corrected is implying to our kids that Scripture memorization = “hiding” (storing up and treasuring) God’s word in their hearts (Psalm 119:11). We can actually “innoculate” them to the gospel in these ways. Thanks, important stuff.
I totally agree with what was written here. Too often we focus on learning and forget that the relationship a child has with God is the fruit that will last eternally. Also focus on family ministry is something that is lacking in our children’s ministries.
Tony,
Great article! Your first point about Bible knowledge is one aspect of teaching that I try to spend a lot of time on. Obviously, scripture is foundational in the Christian life, and pumping kids full of information and stories from the Bible can help them to grow in their own Christian life. I think of my own kids who face choices and life situations and say things to me like, “…it’s kind of like Rack, Shack and Benny” (yes, they’re Veggietale fans). The knowledge of those Bible stories is helpful to them in formulating a Christian world view. That said, the Bible is not just a book full of stories. It is a book about God, and it is a book that has the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ at it’s core. To tell kids bible stories as merely stories or moral platitudes and ignore how those fit into the bigger picture of God’s work truly is toxic. Likewise, kids must be shown how they fit into God’s story. The written part of God’s story is complete and fully sufficient, but he continues to work in and through people, and children should be shown their part in that continuation of God’s story.
Obviously, the “what” of the bible (people, places, stories, etc.) is important to learn, but the why, and the how, and especially the who (God) are vital to our children’s spiritual health.
That’s my two cents!
Take care.
I am adapting Karl Bastian’s VIP concept from his Kidology Partnering with Parents Leadership Lab. Here is my twist on it. The parents who opt in, sign up for a ten week session. They decide on one issue or area in their family life they want to work on. It can be anything which pertains to discipleship, spirituality, relationships, etc. I then work with them to find solutions and resources by providing coaching. It is their agenda. I am there to coach and cheer them on. Where necessary I refer them to others who can better help them.
They also commit to discipling their children intentionally, not only for Bible knowledge, but to grow in relationship to God; to know God and be known by him.
I have one family signed up for the first session beginning Sept 13. More have indicated they plan to do so. I really recommend Karl’s resource. Also, check out Brian Haynes material over at http://www.legacyblog.org.