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How many times have you thought, “My pastor just doesn’t get it” or “my pastor just doesn’t care about kids’ ministry”? Do you struggle with feeling supported by your pastor?
I think we all do from time to time, and some of us feel that way all the time. Most pastors are not wired in a way where kids are their first priority. But most pastors are the same in that they really do want your ministry to succeed. They want the kids in church to know Jesus.
So, how do you bridge the gap? How do you increase the value of children’s ministry in your pastor’s eyes? How do you win support. Here are seven things that we can do, but beware, they all focus on what we need to fix in US!
1. Remember that it is your job to serve him, not vice versa. I was shocked last year to hear someone say that the reason their church didn’t have nursery volunteers was because the pastor didn’t develop volunteers well enough or talk about nursery from the pulpit. Your pastor’s job is to preach God’s Word and lead an entire church. His job is not to make your job easier. He might, and that’s great. Your job is to make HIS job easier. You exist so that he can do what God has called him to do without worrying about the babies in the parking lot.
2. Follow his vision. Know what his vision is for the church and replicate that throughout your children’s ministry. If he values discipleship, make sure your programming reflects that. If evangelism is his passion, have a plan for kidmin evangelism. Along with this, make sure you know his vision for kidmin. What would he like to see? What does he consider a success? If you don’t know the answers to these questions, ask him asap.
3. Tell him all the wins. Wow, we can whine in children’s ministry. And most of it we probably have a right to whine about. But our pastor doesn’t need to hear it. If you only tell him all the bad, why would his impression of your ministry be good? Tell him what God is doing! Tell him great stories. Brag on volunteers. Brag on parents.
3. Don’t be needy. As much as you can, solve your own problems. Take care of your own world. Make sure that when you do need to ask for help, it is such a rarity that he can’t help but listen. On the flip side, pastors generally don’t like surprises, so if an issue comes up that he needs to hear from you first, make sure he hears it from you first!
4. Don’t be silly. Seriously, dress like a grown up. Talk like a normal person. Enough said.
5. His problems are your problems. What can you do to make his job easier? Is there something that is bugging him that you can help fix? If you hear him talking about something he would like to see happen, jump in and help make it happen.
6. Love people. Spend less time complaining about people and invest your energy in loving and serving the people of your church. By loving the people of the church, you are serving your pastor.
7. Be his biggest fan. Don’t talk bad about him to others, either staff or congregation. Ever. Enourage others to support his vision. Be his cheerleader.
Click here to leave a comment on this article, I love to hear your ideas too. For more on this topic, check out a post on my blog here and my pastor shared his thoughts on kidmin here.
Related posts:
- 5 Tips for Getting the Church to Support the Kids Ministry
- How to Raise Support for a Mission Trip (Example Support Letter)
- Seven Habits of Highly Insecure Children’s Pastors
- Biblical Support for Intergenerational Ministry
- Support Your Local Children’s Ministry – In Belize
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I think Dave’s second point is gold. Take a long hard look at how your kids ministry fits with your church’s mission statement or strategic plan. Put it in writing and give it to the pastor inviting his comments. Both should be long the lines of reaching out and making disciples but he may not realise that’s your bottom line. If your ministry goals are very different, ask the pastor to help you and your team pull the kids ministry goals in line with the churches goals. Feed him helpful video clips to help him get it, like TODAY and Next Generation. Every blessing!
Also if you get it and he doesn’t it has to be up to you to help him get it. I know it can be tough, but it’s worth it. It’s so powerful to be aligned in ministry and I reckon God smiles when we are.
I also agree that this is a very degrading article, not just to children’s workers, but also to children. A pastor’s job is to lead a church – a whole church. If he is not “worried about the babies in the parking lot”, he is not doing his job. As children’s workers, we are not there to serve the pastor, but the members of the congregation, just as he is.
We are also asked to follow his vision. A pastor with so little time for the children in his church will not be able to create a vision which includes those children and therefore fails again to do his job.
I am stunned that this article has even appeared on this site. These are the reasons that so many children’s and youth workers feel defeated in their roles before they get a chance to do anything.
Hey everybody! Just wanted to clarify that I in no way meant to imply that children’s ministry is not important. I feel it is the most important ministry of the church! What I was trying to say is that we exist so the pastor doesn’t have to worry about the details. I want him to spend his time investing in families and sharing God’s Word on Sunday morning, not worrying about if the nursery volunteer or the parking greeters showed up.
I have often heard people in kidmin blame their pastor for lack of volunteers or other similar issues. I was trying to communicate that we aren’t winning our pastor’s support when this is our attitude. We gain those we serve, and we are more likely to gain our pastor’s support by serving him than by looking for him to serve us.
I don’t know if that made anymore sense or not, but just know that my heart beats kidmin. :)
So bless with this new insight, thanks so much. powerful tools to use. and sure with this hits the church work will be easy for pastors .
Ellen, I disagree with you. The pastor is the person God has asked to hold a particular congregation in his hand, including the children. But he cannot pastor alone. He cannot be bouncing babies on his knee and preaching from the front at the same time. He cannot do everything, so anything we do in serving God through the church is also serving your pastor and making his job easier. I wonder if you read the article differently to me. Not having to worry about the children wasn’t something that I read to mean that he doesn’t care about them but that if we are serving the children well he knows that this specialist group are being properly cared for and he can then happily place his attention else where. I read it as being NOT offensive and denigrating but quite the opposite! Good children’s ministry doesn’t need the pastor to micro-manage but let us get on with it while he gets on with other things. It’s called team work. I’ll say it again, if you are serving God through your church you ARE serving your pastor.
I agree with everything except #4
4. Don’t be silly. Seriously, dress like a grown up. Talk like a normal person. Enough said.
How would you have a children’s minister dress? hmm?
I agree Adam! Just how are we to dress? When I don a funny hat for a children’s message on Sunday mornings or wear my twinkle toe sneakers on Wednesday nights, I am connecting with our children. They love my funny Bible constumes and it gets great discussions going in our classrooms.
This reminds me of the college professor who told a room full of kindergarten-to-be teachers that we should wear skirts and heels everyday.
I will keep being silly, but, I’ll use my regular voice!
There is a time and place to be silly with kids absolutely. :) I’m just saying not all the time. Kids love silly. Pastors not so much.
I really appreciate the idea that we are to solve our own problems and consider ourselves as contributing to the overall goals of the church. But my job is NOT to serve my pastor. My pastor did not call me into ministry.
Before anyone gets upset, I loved our pastor, who retired last year, and I love our interim pastor, and I support them 100%. I will support whomever our church calls into leadership next. However, I do NOT exist to make the pastor’s job easier – really? I “exist so that he can do what God has called him to do without worrying about the babies in the parking lot”? That’s offensive and denigrating to very idea of children’s ministry.