Is homeschooling right for my son? For our family, the answer was not as simple as you might think. My oldest son starts first grade next week. I am a full time Children’s pastor – and get to hear plenty of strong opinions on both sides of the issue. Many of our friends want us to join the Christian homeschooling movement. But I need to know what is right for my son?
To help decide, I’ve made this list of pros and cons. This is my homeshcooling verses public schooling list. In our town, we have an excellent public school system, a new Christian school and a strong homeschooling community. I’ve ruled out the private Christian school because of its price. I’d love to hear what you think about this list. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.
Christian Homeschooling Pros
- Christian Homeschooling Curriculum: The whole homeschooling program facilitates learning. It seems like Christian homeschooling can provide an excellent education. There is so much supporting material on the internet. Crosswalk.com provides online homeschooling resources. You might also like LifeWay’s homeschool resource page. I’ve started a list of home school curriculum
- Homeschooling would give us more family time. Kids spend so much time in public schools that they become strangers to their parents. Christian homeschooling would allow us to spend time with our son during these short years.
- Christian values are a part of Christian homeschooling curriculum. All parents must teach the Bible to their children. But homeschooling curriculum would add a whole new level of religious education.
- Christian homeschooling provides a high level of safety. Public schools can be dangerous both physically and emotionally for children. Peer interaction often tends toward bullying. Homeschooling would clearly protect my son.
Christian Homeschooling Cons
- Homeschooling would reduce my son’s opportunities to make friends outside of our church. He is a pastor’s kid and spends almost too much time with other Christian children.
- My son loves his school. After kindergarten, he couldn’t wait to go back for more. I’m sure he would love homeschooling but he definitely is a social guy.
- Christian homeschooling would reduce my contacts with unbelievers. As a Children’s pastor it seems like all I do is talk to other Christian parents. Getting involved in public school means getting involved with unchurched families.
- Homeschooling would not give my son experience dealing with with ‘worldly people.’ Dealing with mean people is a skill that kids must learn. Christian homeschooling would protect my son from these people. But only for a little while.
Is Christian Homeschooling The Answer?
After serious consideration, we think public school is right for our son. I know some of you will disagree with me. But several our Christian friends teach at our school. We also get involved. So, this will be a year-by-year decision. I’m sure we’ll be having these same talks next year.
What about you? Are you involved in Christian homeschooling?
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I watch families walk through this decision making process every year. I think you are wise to treat it as a year-by-year decision.
Blessings,
Glen Woods
Glenn,
Thanks. It is weird how much pressure we are feeling from other people on this. But we want to do what is right for our kids. I think our rural area makes the schools a lot safer too.
Interesting. You set up straw men and then knock them down. You put your need to reach the unreached and tell the untold and place that requirement on your son.
You notate that homeschooling would give your son a Christian worldview. You did not even address the worldview at the public school. And public school is not the only place to find unchristian people, and even in homeschooling you will find mean christian people for your son to deal with. So the protection argument does not wash.
Since most children become like their friends, how can your son spend too much time with other christian kids? Do you prefer him to spend time with gangs and thugs? Not that public schools are filled with gangs and thugs, but in general you want him to spend time with good examples of character. So the statement of spending too much time with good people does not make sense.
If you have a strong homeschool community, then social opportunties abound. There are usually skate days, park days, scouts, sports, co-ops in a strong homeschool community. And let’s not forget all those wonderful trips during the day to the grocery store, the veterinanians, the hardware store, the library, the doctor’s office where he can be social and ask real questions of real people doing real jobs. The social issue is a straw man.
Yes, this is a year to year decision. Oh, and in 3 years, don’t worry about bringing your child out of public school. He will have lost his love of learning that you see now and he will start questioning your Christian viewpoints. It does not take long even in small public schools for the other worldview to seep into the children’s thinking.
If you don’t believe me, check your thinking. Do you believe you should only have 2 children. Yep, public school taught you that, not the Bible.
Will continue to pray that the church wakes up to what God is saying to the church in reaching the unreached and in teaching their children. This is said in love. As head of your family, yes, you are responsible for your decision and must make the decision that you think best for your family. But do look at the arguments you wrote on this blog. Are they the real arguments, or is there something else, such as a fear of what people will say if you homeschool? Or the need for your wife to be able to help you in your work? Come to think of it, you did not even mention what your wife thought of this. Yes, this decision is between you, your wife and the Lord. But since you put this in the public forum, I hope you understand my public reply.
Blessings,
Jube
Jube,
Thanks for your comments. You raise some good points. I appreciate your gentle critique. I’m a young father working all this out for the first time and your perspective definitely helps me.
I’ll definitely check out your website too.
Every parent has to make the best decision they can. Just be sure you’re not kidding yourself in any way.
You wouldn’t send a soldier into battle before first making sure he was properly trained. Tossing your son into the mix in public school before you’ve had time to fully cement your values in him is a dangerous game.
The bottom line is that either way – YOU are his primary educator. And if you’re not willing to be that for him, then neither public nor home schooling will be the best educational option for him. But if you put him in public school, your job as “man coach” for your son just got a whole lot harder, because there will be a bevy of competing voices in the public school (kids AND teachers) telling him that you are an idiot.
Dear Tony,
I’m afraid I agree with the above comment about the straw men. In particular, I would ask you what you want for your son in 16 years (roughly when he would finish a secondary education). What are your hopes, your dreams for him? I sense from what you wrote, you see “education” as the bottom line and have bought into the American idea that “education=success.” Therefore, one must pursue the best “education” possible.
I would argue that “education” isn’t the issue…DISCIPLESHIP is! What we in America consider “education” should take second place to discipling our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. I noticed also that your list didn’t include any Biblical references. How about Psalm 1? Do you really want your child “sitting at the feet of scoffers?” How about Deut 6? How about all of Proverbs? How about Ephesians 5-6?
In other words…put aside all your preconceived and culturally conditioned ideas and ask God to reveal to you FROM HIS WORD how you should be raising/educating/discipling your son. And then do it.
A group school of any sort fosters peer dependency. Given how much your son “loved” kindergarten, I suspect you are already seeing that. Does that mean he can’t have friends? Of course not. But when the friends become his world and you as his dad are secondary…well…all is not good.
And I agree with chuck’s comment about the competing voices of other children and of teachers (and I would add of textbooks) telling your son that you are not necessary to his world. Your voice will quickly be secondary to that of the authorities of the officially secular school.
I would reiterate again…please consider what you are looking for in 12-16 years. Please consider what the Bible says specifically about raising your son. And then please do it, regardless of the social pressures you may be feeling.
Blessings from an almost empty-nest father…
Charley
http://www.riseupandgetserious.blogspot.com
http://www.homedisciplingdad.blogspot.com
Oh…I see you are a fan of Children Desiring God.
If it helps my credibility any…I attend Bethlehem Baptist and have been teaching the Children Desiring God curriculum for almost ten years now…. I am also close friends with the authors of the curriculum…both of whom homeschooled their children all the way through highschool, and have wonderful, well-adjusted, happy, Godly young adults as a result.
Charley
http://www.riseupandgetserious.blogspot.com
http://www.homedisciplingdad.blogspot.com
One more resource…Dr. Voddie Baucham is a Southern Baptist pastor and an eloquent spokesman for a God-centered life. He has a post at his blog on why Christians should leave the public schools, at least for Christian schools and preferably for homeschools.
You can find it here: http://www.voddiebaucham.org/Blog/0945D0E2-D576-4259-A475-30025D77161D.html
Enjoy.
Charley
http://www.riseupandgetserious.blogspot.com
http://www.homedisciplingdad.blogspot.com
Homeschool cons observations:
“Homeschooling would reduce my son’s opportunities to make friends outside of our church. He is a pastor’s kid and spends almost too much time with other Christian children.”
This is not well thought out. Strengthening Christian relationships is one of the main goals of the church. By having children around other like minded children makes them stronger in relationship, resolve, and maturity. There is no such thing as spending “too much time with other Christian children.”
“Christian homeschooling would reduce my contacts with unbelievers. As a Children’s pastor it seems like all I do is talk to other Christian parents. Getting involved in public school means getting involved with unchurched families.”
This comes across as if you expect to use your child as a tool in your evangelism. As a Children’s pastor (speaking from perspective as a pastor myself), what is your minitry? To the children and families of your church! You are supposed to nurture THOSE relationships. They are not pawns in the spiritual warfare of evangelism. They will evangelize as they mature in the instruction and training given to them as parents and children.
“Homeschooling would not give my son experience dealing with with ‘worldly people.’ Dealing with mean people is a skill that kids must learn. Christian homeschooling would protect my son from these people. But only for a little while.”
See the point above. While admirable to want to have your son be able to relate with ‘worldly people’ what is the motive? YOU are the one that will show him how to relate via Biblical standards. Be careful, as if you think it will free up any time in the home, you will be mistaken. You will have to spend double and triple the time at home in advanced Christian and Biblical training, in addition to the homework from school and the regular family interactions, to ensure your child is field ready for “worldly people” relationships — your job just got harder, not easier.
I see as the only truly valid point you made is the one about going back to the classroom.
You have obviously made your decision and I respect that. I will not be the one to try to dissuade you. I only ask that you look at your cons again and think through them more.
(FYI: Be especially mindful of the month of October. Our kids hated it in the public AND private schools they attended.)
One more comment. Public schools are not religion-neutral. They will be teaching your son theology…a much different one than yours.
Remember, these are the places that celebrate “gay appreciation week” (as one school district in Maryland does) and teach what essentially amounts to earth worship. the poster above is correct – your job just got harder, not easier.
Tony, I see what you mean about other people putting pressure on you. Obviously they are responding to what you typed, which is fine. You seem to be weathering the feedback with your usual gracious style.
It is interesting how some have chosen to assume things as well, especially the comments about you wanting your children to hang out with gangs and thugs and questioning what your wife might think of this, as well as making strong statements over what they perceive as the limited validity of your views.
Over the past few days I had a range of responses to the “gangs and thugs” comment, from sadness to a sense of irony, since it is basically replicating the strawman argument which they accuse you of constructing. That is the disadvantage of text based communication. It always comes across harsher than we might intend, especially when there is disagreement. Anyway, some of the comments seem to have validity, especially in terms of public schools not being religion neutral.
I appreciate the privilege you give all of us in inviting us to participate in discussion! I will be praying for you.
Blessings,
Glen Woods
Chuck,
Thanks for your insights. The whole ‘man coach’ angle is helpful. I definitely agree with what you said about public schools not being neutral.
Scott,
Thanks for your detailed discussion. Maybe we can get together at school tomorrow and hash it over coffee. I think we have the same Monday night theology class.
Glen,
Thanks for your encouragement. I’m actually glad to have some disagreement on this question. I might explore this topic more in future posts. I’ve had the same conversations with our homeschooling friends too. At this point I’m glad to learn from the criticisms.
Thanks for your prayers.
My personal beliefs:
1) People who feel “judged” because other disagree with their decisions probably have an inner problem of their own. If you made up your mind, stop yelling “judgemental-ism” at those who don’t.
2) World War I had the “Dough Boys” These were men dropped into a war with no training against an enemy that was well trained. They were slaughtered and history is still judging those who failed to prepare for war during peace time.
– sheltering children is our job until they are trained. That is how I see it. Putting them in the midst of the battle all alone is silly. Boot camp and training isn’t done on the battle field.
3.) The number one reason to home school is for social reasons. Children do not learn proper social skills surrounded by 25 other children their own age. We sent our daughter to 2nd grade at a local Christian school and were able to see our assumptions proven. When she interacted with children of all ages and adults all the time, she developed wonderful social skills. When she was around only 8 year olds, she became clickish and had a hard time dealing with younger children and adults. Now we are back to being at home and thankfully that has changed back, but it was a real lesson in the problems inherent in grouping same age children together.
Personally, I don’t care where you choose to send your children, that is your God given responsibility and if you do it with a lot of forethought and invest in your children’s lives, then great.
— Well, now that I am already on the soap box…cut the stupid cord to the T.V. too. It’s amazing what a difference it will make in your family life!!!!
I was at a large Bible Study and the leader asked what influences were affecting your children. Not one of them pertained to our family. All these people were moaning about how horribly difficult it was to raise children with all of these competing influences, they were at their wits end, yet mention that maybe they could decide to remove the negative and suddenly your a judgemental jerk.
MJH
Tony,
(I found you through blogs4god)
We homeschool our daughter, 3rd grade this year. We’re Christians (part time staff at our church) but we made the decision to homeschool as much for educational reasons as anything else. i applaud your serious and prayerful consideration of this decision.
I suspect you’ll find as your kids get a little older that extra-curricular activities will engage them with all types of people, and that wanting to expose them to folks outside of church won’t be as difficult as you think it is now. It’s pretty easy to get involved in community sports outside of homeschool groups. In fact, we intentionally avoid being involved in only homeschool group activities for some of the same reasons you voiced. On the other hand, we see some kids- even at church- who are clearly succumbing to negative peer pressure and think, gee, it’s nice that we aren’t having to battle that every day. (It still comes up, just not as often.)
anyway- i just wanted to say you seem to be doing great at weighing it all out. if you change your mind, next year is another opportunity. the bottom line is that good solid parenting makes all the difference regardless of educational choices, and if you’re already thinking this carefully through it all, you’re on the right track. blessings.
Thanks for your comments. I definitely see your point about extra curricular activities. I hadn’t even considered that. We are learning as we go – like all parents.
The education quality is probably my biggest concern. I’ve done some substitute teaching on my off day from church and found that a lot of public school time is used to ‘pass time.’ Then you add special needs children to a classroom and some kids have to slow their pace of learning just to keep the class together.
i read somewhere years ago that in the average public school class the teacher only teaches about 3 hours- the rest is all that other inevitable stuff that comes with managing a group of kids. I thought, hey- i can teach for 3 hours a day… we’ve been at it since kindergarten. so far, mostly so good! i have days when i consider calling the dr. for a xanax Rx, but at the end of the day (or week) we feel it’s the best thing for us. feel free to email me anytime- or drop back by my blog- (thanks for coming by!)
It’s your duty and responsibility to educate your child in whatever way you see fit. I honor and respect your rights as a father, but please consider the following:
(1) Do you want the BEST possible education for your son? If so, do you believe that the public school will provide it?
(2) Do you want your son to soak up a secular (at best) or anti-Christian (at worst) worldview for 6 or more hours a day, five days a week?
(3) Do you want him to learn by example that God is for Sunday and has nothing to do with Monday through Friday? Do you want him to learn by example that God has nothing to do with nature, with history, with art, with music, with literature, or with any other subject?
(4) Do you think he is equipped at his age to challenge what he is told and what he reads about evolution, human sexuality, cultural diversity, environmentalism, and other “hot button” topics that he will encounter?
Kyle,
Thanks for stopping by and thanks for your thoughtful questions. These are all definitely issues we I need to consider more deeply.
Tony
I enjoy your blog, and you have a tough decision to make. When my kids were young – the youngest is now 15, you basically had two types of peolpe that homeschooled – the old hippies and granola eaters who still dont trust “da man” and the christian fundamentalists who also dont trust “da Man”. We were fortunate to be able to send our kids to a good solid Christian School that is very solid academically – oldest kid doing very well now at THE University of Texas. My sisters who are younger and have younger kids decided to try homeschooling. One did great, the other failed. Both tried their hardest to make it work, the one that failed, had very social kids who really missed the social interaction.
We have several families in our church who homeschool, once again it goes well for some and for others, not so much.
I would agree that it is a year to year proposition, if you decide not to do it, it does not make you any less a Christian, nor does it mean your kids are going to turn out to be drug infested gangbangers. Just like homeschooling does not guarantee that your kids will be perfect Christians. Like me you will find that you increase your odds a bit, as you do not typically have gangs in your house (making a huge guess here
) Nor do we have them in our Christian school – but we have most of the other problems that kids everywhere have – low self esteem, cliques, a bit of drinking from time to time etc.
All that said, we have many kids in our church that are products of the public school – they are GREAT KIDS from great families. Their parents are very involved in thier lives, they have been in AP type classes and have learned to live in a tough culture.
Wow – didnt mean to take up so much space.
My prayers are with you
JIm
Tony,
I am surprised at some of the responses you’ve received above. I also attend Bethlehem Baptist and work with the youth there, and I work at Children Desiring God as well. FYI, while there are many who have wisely chosen to homeschool at our church, there are also many who have wisely chosen to carefully moniter their children’s public or private school education as well. All of these parents believe that they have prayerfully chosen before God what is best for their particular children at this particular time, and all believe God will hold them accountable to their decisions. No one is “less” or “more” spiritual or loves their children “less” or “more” on account of which educational option they’ve chosen. Likewise, although some of the public and private school kids are rebellious, some of the homeschool kids are also rebellious. And while some of the homeschool kids are not very well adjusted, there are some who are quite well-adjusted, and public/private school kids can also go either way. My point is simply — God alone has control over how your children turn out. Sheltering them in no way guarantees they will turn out ok — because sin is not an external problem of environment, but rather an issue of the human heart. Likewise, sending them out into public or private schools does not guarantee that they will prove to be salt and light there — again, this is an issue determined by the work of God in the human heart. May the Lord be with you as you seek to honor Him!
*God alone has control over how your children turn out.*
Woah, there. This implies that parents have no control in what happens to their children. That’s wrong. God gives us charge over their children, and we can easily ruin those kids if we don’t discharge that responsibility well. Look at Eli, whose sons were killed by God because their father did not restrain them.
I agree with most of your points, KT, but on that one, i must respectfully disagree.
I can’t speak for public schools, but I have homeschooled my kids for 9 years now and — wow — it’s been wonderful to have meaningful conversation about the important things in life by spending concentrated time together each school day, reading the Bible and reading good literature and talking together about it. I would not have had the time for this if my kids were in school somewhere.
I would encourage you to look at the end “product” — personally observe some high school students involved in NCFCA — the homeschool speech and debate league (www.ncfca.org)– and see if that’s what you want as an end result or if you would rather see what one normally observes in teens, even in church. The reason I mention that league is that I have observed courteous, articulate teens with a passion for Jesus Christ. I don’t really see that very often. But the incidence is much more frequent in that league.
KT,
May I suggest that whether a child is rebellious or well-adjusted often has more to do with whether or not he is being discipled rather than his mode of education. If his dad is spending the time necessary to raise him in the fear and admonition of the Lord, then more often than not, he will not be rebellious nor will he be maladjusted. May I also point out that “discipling” is not synonymous with “sheltering.” If all a parent is doing is sheltering, then the child will not fair well when out on his own. On the other hand, raising a child who is Biblically wise beyond his years and fears the Lord will result in a young adult who will impact his world for the Kingdom!
Then one must ask which mode of education will lead to this type of discipleship? Which mode backs up, supports, and promotes what the Dad is trying to do? Do any of the modes actively work against what Dad is trying to do? (Yes, that’s a loaded question!)
I believe the answers to these questions would place “home discipling” (I prefer that to “homeschooling” because the emphasis is better) as the first choice. A solid Christian school would be second. And the government school would not place at all since everything about it actively works against the raising of a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Do we really want to place our children in the counsel of the wicked or in the seat of scoffers (Psalm 1)?
I have no doubt that parents love their children or that most Christian parents pray about their decisions…and then they act because “they have a peace about it.” (See my post at http://riseupandgetserious.blogspot.com/2007/06/i-have-peace-about-it.html for my thoughts on that method of decision-making.) What I really wonder is…do they search the Scriptures for guidance (in the forms of commandments, principles, precepts, and normative example) and then act upon what they find there, regardless of what the world says to do???? That is the only reliable method of decision-making for the Christian.
Charley
Tony, I think it’s great that you’ve raised this issue. I think you’ve pretty much laid out all the pros and cons.
I have a 6 year old starting first grade tomorrow and a 4 year old starting preschool tomorrow. My wife discussed homeschooling vs private Christian school vs public school and opted for public school for the time being.
Personally, I think it’s important for my wife and I to have contact with non-Chrisitan parents and for my 6 year old daughter to build friendships with non-Christian children. My daughter invited one of her friends to church earlier this year and not only did her friend come but so did her friend’s mother and brother. She brought another non-Christian friend to Vacation Bible School. My wife has also been able to develop relationships with non-Christian parents and faculty at the school by volunteering.
I am not opposed to homeschooling, but I think a lot of Christian parents want to separate themselves from the world rather than engage it as the Bible teaches. They would rather insulate their children from the real world than to teach them how to deal with it and even have a positive influence on it.
I can understand why some parents would want to homeschool their children if they were particularly suceptable to influence or the public schools were really bad. If my kids were to start engaging in bad behavior because of other kids they were hanging around with, I would consider pulling them out of that environment. But for now I’m going to keep my kids in public school so they (and we) can be light in the midst of darkness and be a positive influence.
Here are three phenomenal books to help a parent wrap his arms around thinking through this issue:
“When You Rise Up” by R.C. Sproul, Jr.
“Upgrade” by Kevin Swanson
“Family Driven Faith” by Dr. Voddie Baucham, Jr.
All are available from amazon.com for very reasonable prices.
Anyone who truly wants to think through and develop a solid Biblical basis for the education of their child should read these books carefully, for they are a fount of solid Biblical advice.
Charley
Get Serious Blog
HomeDiscipling Dad Blog
Chuck,
Thanks for the critique. I think you may be confusing a parent’s responsibility with a parent’s control. A parent has no real control over how their child turns out — a parent can not ruin a child’s life, nor can a parent make sure that a kid turns out well. God along has control over these things, because God alone can change the human heart determinatively.
A parent does, however, have a very important responsibility to train up a child in the way he should go, and the Bible makes this quite clear. A parent who does not use his ministry as a parent for disciple-making (to borrow Charley’s well-chosen term) will be held accountable. But the parent’s God-ordained, God-given ministry is a tool in the hands of God, not a determinative formula or force. It is a wonderful and weighty privilege to be given this ministry, but it would also be a terrifying responsibility if parents had true control over their children’s hearts — thankfully, their hearts are in the hands of God.
Charley,
Thank you for the thoughtful response. I am glad to see that we share common ground in that we both believe that disciple-making is a key ingredient in whether or not the soil of a child’s heart has been tilled in preparation for the work of the Holy Spirit.
Spiritual disciple-making and education in reading, math, and science should have some overlap, but they are not essentially the same. A child can have a wrong scientific worldview (for example — not that I am advocating this in any way) or poor math and reading skills (whether home-schooled or public schooled) and still be growing in both faith and holiness. So I’m afraid I do not see how disciple-making necessitates home schooling from a biblical standpoint.
When it comes to biblical principles, I see a very clear biblical principle of engagement with society and of faith growing under persecution — even child-like faith. One of my favorite examples of this is John 9 — the blind man was excommunicated from the temple for his belief in and love for Jesus, even before Jesus graciously revealed to the man that He is actually the Son of God! I am not recommending sending kids into public schools without any guidance, prayer, or direction, but rather suggesting that other biblical principles may play out in a child’s life through such an experience.
But Charley, I think you are right in saying that not every homeschool situation needs to be a “sheltering” situation. It is true that home-school parents can also do a very good job of living out the biblical principles I just mentioned with their children. There certainly does not need to be a dichotomy, as if each group can only live out different biblical principles.
So, I am not advocating one method of education over another at all. But I am agreeing with the biblical principles of of God’s sovereign control over all hearts, as well as the parents’ responsibility in disciple-making, regardless of educational choice.
One thing I appreciate about your response, Charley, is the emphasis on the father’s involvement in children’s education. One of the major benefits I see to homeschooling is the opportunity for parents to be closely involved in their children’s education. It’s very refreshing to hear you speak of your key role as disciple-maker in your family!
KT,
You say:
“Spiritual disciple-making and education in reading, math, and science should have some overlap, but they are not essentially the same. A child can have a wrong scientific worldview (for example — not that I am advocating this in any way) or poor math and reading skills (whether home-schooled or public schooled) and still be growing in both faith and holiness. So I’m afraid I do not see how disciple-making necessitates home schooling from a biblical standpoint.”
I’m not sure I follow your line of argument here. You note the difference between spiritual discipling and “other” education, yet conclude how you don’t see how disciple-making necessitates homeschooling.
Maybe the answer is partly practical: Time. If you are sending your child off for 8 hours a day in peer-dependent classrooms, followed by numerous activities and hours of homework…where and when exactly do you do Deuteronomy 6 or Ephesians 6? If you are sending them to a “Christian” school, I suppose the argument could be made for allowing another to do most of the discipling in your stead, although I would argue that a teacher can do very little discipling when dealing with a group classroom. If you are sending them off to a government school…well…it is an officially God-hating environment where absolutely ZERO discipleship will take place and they WILL be sitting at the feet of scoffers (Psalm 1); the only result is that you must then overcome and counter the multicultural, pluralistic, “tolerance” indoctrination in the little time you would have with your child.
The bottom line is that a child can know how to solve differential equations or grammatically diagram a sentence from a foreign language…but if they are weak spiritually, they are basically useless to the Kingdom (assuming they are saved at all) and are vulnerable to any number of the heresies that regularly come through our nation. First and foremost MUST be their Salvation (which is of God) and their growth in the Lord (sanctification). ONLY when this is well-established does the rest of what our culture deems important in education come into play.
With these assumptions, there is no way to begin to approve of a government school scenario, and the private, Christian school scenario doesn’t stand out very brightly either. If my assumptions are correct, then the best way to accomplish them is through homeschooling.
One of the things I am appreciating about this particular thread is the kindness and gentleness of the responses. There is a good give and take, without the vitriol that often accompanies this topic. To all who are participating, thank you.
Charley
Get Serious Blog
HomeDiscipling Dad Blog
Tony,
I appreciate what I’ve read from you on this blog. I must say:
1) I agree with 99% of the arguments given by homeschoolers in these comments
2) Our family homeschools for those same reasons
3) Probably because of regularly having to answer for our decision to HS, some homeschoolers tend to be a bit defensive and occasionally come across as, “God, I thank you that I am not like these public schoolers…”
4) You have responded with Christ-like grace to several comments that, to me, appeared condescending. You encouraged my soul tonight as my wife and I read your blog.
5) You need to homeschool.
Yours in Christ,
Jeremiah
I want to say thanks for everyone who has commented on this post. It really as turned out to be a helpful conversation. I enjoyed hearing your perspective and reexamining my own.
I’m not ready to pull out the white flag on our public school yet. I definitely resonate with the concerns that everyone has raised. Looking forward to the next few years this issue I can tell this issue is far from settled in my own heart.
I love the Lord Jesus and believe the Word of God to be absolute truth. I find all these arguments extremely entertaining. I must answer with a question: “What is a “Mom” to do who wholeheartedly believes in the parental responsibility to nurture and train young ones in the truth of the Lord Jesus, the disciple making of children, the fear of the Lord and is not in the position to homeschool because of health reasons, the financial position for Christian school, and also has a special needs son whose educational needs really can be met much better in a public school?”
Some of you homeschooling only people have much to learn about the love of God! I could not imaging Jesus speaking in such harsh ways – except to Peter when he cut off someone’s ear. Please forgive me for being so blunt!
We tried public school for a short while early on- where my kids really were educated in matters of math and reading extremely well – and we prayed daily, read the Word daily, attended Church, and were active in outreach and community in keeping the First and Greatest Commandment.
Then they were in Christian school for a few years, which cost a small fortune, but they hardly did get an edcuation in Math and Reading. It was, though, a very loving establishment and they also got much biblical teaching that was not often applied on the playground anyway.
Then when the Christian school started having problems, we pulled them to homeschool, which was a disaster for our family b/c I didn’t have the credentials to teach a special needs son, thereby my daughter got the educational shaft, while all the time, I was contending with chronic disease myself.
SO! As head of the house, my husband, a very godly, loving man who – as I do – wants nothing more than for our children to grow up loving and serving the Lord has enrolled our children in public school.
Look at it this way – Some might say my faith is lacking, but!
For the Homeschool only proponents – God loves only those children whose moms are physically able to homeschool and not chronical ill (Or are single moms, etc.)
For the Christian school only proponents – God loves only kids who come from families who are rich enough to send their kids to Christian school.
For the Christian family public schoolproponents – God loves all children, is Soverign, in total control. This is my personal belief.
I find this to be the only biblically based solution for our family, as dones my husband, and I assure you, it’s NOT easy to send them out in to the World. But whose kids are they? Ours or GODS?
BOTH!
I’m sure there will be bumps, but I suspect these are the very lessons our “Called out ones,” will grow through – so I pray…. so I pray… so I pray…
I’ve concluded that if it comes down to what “I want,” (which is to homeschool, by the way) and not necessarily what educational modalities my son (And daughter) need, nor something my doctor can even endorse (He’s a Christian, too, by the way) then for us, homeschooling is probably the most self absorbed, in the name of what “God wants,” non biblically based decision going. So! I’m thankful my husband, who helps me in the area of balance, has pointed this out to me as the spiritual leader of our family and am trying to adjust to the fact that our children are going back to public school.
Parents, yes, you do have the responsibilty to train your kids in the Lord, keep an eye on what’s taught, combat all the “World-view” that comes home, and it is out there – but phewie – what ever happened to “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus?” Homeschooling only proponents – shame on you for being so critical of those who after prayer, scripture and soul searching, really do believe it’s the Lord’s will and desire to have their young ones in public school. That makes them neither less Christian, nor worse parents. Judge not that ye be not judged!
Blessings in the Lord Jesus Christ…
As a favorite pastor of mine says in response to the wanton use of “judge not that ye be not judged.”… “Twist not Scripture lest ye be like Satan!” Please use that phrase in its context and not in an attempt to silence debate. And Romans 8:1 does not preclude judging the actions of others against Scripture. It is the conclusion of the argument and concerns Paul listed in Romans 7.
I stand by my admonition to diligently search Scripture for how you should disciple and educated your children…and then act based upon what Scripture says, regardless of exception. If you are taking that as condemnation, then it may be because you know in your heart what Scripture says and you know that it doesn’t promote sending your children to a god-hating government school, even for pragmatic reasons.
I know that sounds direct and mean-spirited…but please read on, for I actually think I understand the good reasoning you have in your situation…and there should be real condemnation directed at the way the American church operates rather than at you, Meg.
Meg…you have a difficult situation and one that obviously pains you. You also state that your desire would be to homeschool, if at all possible. Yet you have said it doesn’t appear possible based on previous experience. I applaud you for the attempt, and would never dream of trying to second guess a person with a special needs child or with a chronic illness.
In a world where the Church occupied its proper sphere, you would be able to home educate because the Christians in your church would rally around your family to assist you to do so. They would so esteem your desire to disciple and educate your own children that they as a Christian community would do whatever it took to make it happen successfully. Unfortunately in our society, the Church doesn’t do well in assisting its members in need, partially because the members are so busy with extra-Biblical activities “required” by the world as a definition of “success”, they have no time for the self-denying requirements of Christian community… and partially because they have given the responsibility for assisting members in need over to the government (or allowed the government to take over what should be a function of the church)…thus your very normal and understandable response to turn to government to help you educate your children when you cannot do so alone, simply because the church isn’t there to assist you. You cannot be condemned for doing so.
I know of a good example of a church in St. Louis that goes against this norm. They meet in homes instead of a building and have no professional pastors. As such, every single penny of offering is used in ministry of some sort. They value home education so highly that if a single mom, for example, desires to home educate, they follow the Biblical example of sending her to her family first for support. If her family won’t support her, and she is willing to come underneath an elder for headship, accountability, and leadership, they will do everything necessary such that she can home educate her children, from providing monetary support to having people physically help her in any manner necessary and for as long as necessary. On top of it all, she is discipled in the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ. THAT is an example of Christian love and compassion in action. THAT shows the world how the members of Christ’s Bride love each other. THAT is how the church is supposed to work. And Meg, if your church functioned that way, YOU wouldn’t have had to go through these painful decisions nor would you feel condemned by the above discussion. You, Meg, and your husband have done what you have to do, given your situation and the reality of government’s intrusion into the rightful role of the church, and the church’s abdication of the same. Please don’t construe this debate as having you and your situation in mind.
Blessings,
Charley
Get Serious Blog
HomeDiscipling Dad Blog
I thought the “making the dicision from year to year” was a great comment. Sometimes our kid’s needs change. I have one child that I homeschool and one that I don’t. The one that is homeschooled is in his last year and I know that it was best. The only struggle has been math which will almost be his only focus this year. My daughter on the other hand has strong desires to remain in school and has been permitted as long as she can show that she is strong enough to make right choices and keep her grades up. There are many things that I like about public school that I can’t offer, such as ROTC, which she loves. BUT if I ever saw that being in that enviroment caused her to make choices that were destructive to her, then home she would come. This keeps the ball in her court and teaches her to weigh what’s important and determine the price and if it’s worth it.
Homeschooling, if done right, could provide many opportunities for meeting non-believers.
Service is an important part of all true education, and there are many needs in the secular world that you could be involved in. But in this way you and your wife have a better handle on what the kids experience so you can better turn the bad stuff into teaching moments.
This kind of service has the added benefit of teaching your kids that the reason for befriend the world is not to join them in their sin but to help them come out of it–a more mission minded association.
Hi Tony,
Good for you for even looking at both side of the homeschooling issue. As parents, we do have options for the education of our children and we need to take that very seriously.
I was public schooled and home schooled and now that I have three children (9yr old and 6 year old twins), I have exclusively home schooled them. We have received both condemnation and support for that decision, even my husband questioned it at first. Academically, my children are 1 – 2 years ahead of their private and public school peers. They have been tested in National tests and score consistently in the 90%. Public schools test on an average of 50%, private schools 70% and homeschoolers the 80%. The more important thing is that they are being discipled in the word of God and how it applies to every subject. In science we study how God’s order is in everything , in history we learn how God’s hand moves human events. God’s order is evident even in our math and english.
Here are a few amazing curriculum to check out. “My Father’s World” and “Sonshine Books”.
I pray that you continue to ask God what He would have you to do because that is the only answer. Good luck on your search!
Tony,
My husband is a Children’s Minister and enjoys reading your blog.
In fact, he has added your blog as a link on his blog (markwbc.blogspot.com). I think you have some wonderful and needed insights for parents.
I’d like to comment on your pros and cons for homeschooling. I clearly see your points on being involved in the public schools, etc. and how that can aid you as a Christian and a minister. We have had our children in both public (one year plus this current year- they are 9 & 11) and Christian education (which was a wonderful experience both academically, spiritually and socially). We homeschooled last year after moving to a different state. It was a good experience during a transition year for our family, but we did not feel a need to continue long term. Academically, it was great for them. But, frankly, they were lonely and wanted to be around other kids on a daily basis. (We do not have a strong homeschool group in our area.) Our dilemna with public school is that the schools here teach evolution,(I know, I am currently teaching public) there is a strong new age influence, there is a lot of harsh behaviors among students and teachers and they do not teach traditional math. (who’s idea was that?!?)
You said you have an excellent public school system. That’s great for you, but we do not. (some would disagree with me, but mostly they are either uninformed of all that goes on, or they are choosing to ignore it because it’s easier that way)
The “easier” choice would be to just send them to public and tell ourselves they will “be ok” and we will do all we can at home…besides we want to “fit in” in the community so we can make a difference. BUT, is that the best choice FOR OUR CHILDREN? It may be the best choice for “our ministry”, but what about our children?
We are considering sending them to a Christian school an hour away. This will be a tremendous sacrifice for us. I will hopefully teach there and we will receive discounts, but it will be a strain because of the drive and all that is involved with children attending school in a different town than they live. My children are both very social and have made friends quickly in public school. It is a difficult decision but the sway to “the dark side” is great and very subtle.
Just wanted to give a different perspective. This is an issue that does not go away. We think about it and pray about it everyday. The only peace we have is taking them out.
Sheryle
Hi There, I read your post and felt perplexed by some of your comments. My children are homeschooled and surrounded by several non-believing children and families. Our children are taught that in all interactions with others that their behavior is for an audience of “One”. The role modeling is helpful and people see a difference and that is what I believe God calls us to. We have started a girls book club for homeschoolers. We make it clear that it is Christian based and yet we have many non-believing girls in the club. We are happy to extend our education beyond the four walls of home or a public school. We take part in community service projects (which is so lacking in public schools). God commands us to GO and preach the word, community service and teaching our children to serve is an excellent way to do that.
So, our children do interact on all levels. Putting a child in a public school environment is not the only way to interact with un-believers. We have found our own prayerful way to interact with un-believers in a much more wholesome way. Our children are well socialized and receiving a great Christ centered education. Our decision minimizes for us the “junk” teachings that the public school tries to pour into our children.
I hope my few comments have helped you to see that there is indeed many paths that lead to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Be Blessed
Alexis
As a 17 year old homeschooler, I think my opinion should bear some weight. (1 Timothy 4:12)
I first came across this forum looking for articles that gave the argument that Christian Homeschooling is the only “right” and “moral” way for parents to educate their kids. (I currently am taking college courses at a local Community College and one of my assignments was to find an article I disagree with and write a counter essay.)
First I just want to say, Mr. Kummer is completely right to evaluate this decision and make try the wisest choice about his kids education. I must admit that after reading some of the responses, I was a little annoyed at the simplicity that some of these parents treat this issue. I got the feeling some of them were just saying, “Home schooling is right because it just is and public schooling is wrong.”
I’ve been homeschooled all my life and I have few regrets about it. My dad also happens to be a PCA pastor…
I have to agree that Homesschooling definitly has it’s pro’s and con’s.
Some of the pro’s:
1. Yes, there are things that certain kids struggle with more than others. And if your child struggles with being willing to do doing anything to fit in, has no self-control, and is a bit rebelious, public school may not be the best option.
2. Your child could be like the “seed that landed on bad soil”. Your kid may have good intentions and honestly want to do the right things, but there will always be temptations and we are all sinners.
3. Homeschooling does give the opportunity for a more Bible-based education. Take note, I did not say “Christian” education, or “safe” education, I said Bible-based. God does care about our little Christian sub-cultures that have diluted and distorted what the actual Bible teaches…
Con’s of Homeschooling….
1. I know far too many completely sheltered Homeschoolers. Some are resentful towards their parents for the bombardment of rules and expectations that their parents put them up to.
2. What is the good of a Christian child that only knows how to be a Christian at church? The WHOLE POINT of Jesus coming was to die for our sins and to preach the gospel to SINNERS. Jesus went to weddings to turn water into wine, he hung out with sinners, prostitutes, and tax-collectors. Jesus came for the sick, not the healthy. If your Homeschooled kid does not know how to love his peers who are sinners, just like him, you have done a bad job. We are supposed to be a light to the world and the salt of the earth. How can we do that stuffed away inside our houses being Homeschooled?
I have been blessed with the coolest parents ever. I know they really care about all the kids, but they trust us to do what we think God wants for us.
Yes, I am homeschooled. BUT, God has not let it hinder my love for non-christians. I play soccer in a recreation league and work with non-christians. My parents balanced my education with exposing me to the world, a little bit at a time.
If you take a child, homeschool him, shelter him, and then release him into the world, he is going to drown so fast.
Mr. Kummer, I completely respect your decision to public school. Always keep your options open and listen to what God and the Bible have to say, not the Christian culture that is scared and terrified of metal, smoking, non-christians, and that is completely obsessed with safety and security.
- Nathanael (17 yr old, Homeschooled, Pastors kid from Northern Virginia)
One more thing…
How much better of a witness would it be if all of the great homeschooled kids there are were in public school? My public schooled friend once told me “If all the homeschooled kids went to public school, it would be such a better place!” If you take every christian child out of public school to “protect” him, the public schools will suffer greatly! If public schools were sprinkled more heavily with christians, I think they would become much more tolerable places for our kids to grow up.
Thanks,
- Nathanael
I think this decision comes down to balance.
There are benefits to both homeschooling and public school.
The question is do the benefits outweigh the negatives (there are negatives to both homeschooling and public school and Christian schools too).
Are you willing to do what you need to do as a parent to help counteract and balance out the negatives. i.e. Public school – talk with your kids and about what they are learning and help them to work through what they’ve learned and how it fits into a Christian worldview, being active in your child’s learning experience and in their classroom when you get a chance or when you need to, etc. Home School – provide opportunities for group interactions, get them involved in extracurricular activities, etc.
I don’t think that it’s accurate to say that either or is a more Godly choice. It’s about what you as parent are comfortable with.
There are some great Godly teachers in public schools, there are also many positive and beneficial experiences that take place in a public school.
I believe that there is a lot of propaganda and misinformation about public schools out there. Just like there is a lot of propaganda and misinformation about homeschooling out there.
Be balanced!
I know this thread started quite awhile ago, but I just came across it this morning. I thought I’d share the fruit of homeschooling. There are lots of “opinions”, but real life speaks for itself. The oldest of our 4 children is 14. We pulled her out of the school system after 2nd grade. We attend a church in a rural setting (appro. 350-400 people) with “good” public schools in the area. We have some homeschoolers in our church, some Christian schooled children, but the majority is public school children. Every summer the Jr. High leads a Back Yard Bible Club in an area neighborhood. The Jr. Highers are supposed to lead songs, tell a story and then just play with and get to know the neighborhood kids and tell them about Jesus and the salvation He brings. I showed up early on the last day, and sat in the car waiting to pick up my daughter (then 13). This is what I saw: Most of the neighorhood kids were playing by themselves. ALL of the public school kids were huddled up together. My daughter (the only homeschooler in the group) and the 3 Christian schooled kids were either talking with or playing on the playground with the kids. My daughter was sitting in the grass talking with a little girl. I saw my daughter get up and grab her Bible, then return to the little girl she was talking to, then another Christian schooled girl joined my daughter in talking to this little girl. I got out of my car and walked past the huddled public schooled kids (kids I love and have taught in SS). As I walked past, I said, “Why don’t you guys go talk to some of the kids?” One person spoke up and said, “I don’t know what to say to them.” I encouraged them to talk to them about the lesson that was shared, but no one moved. I continued on and talked to one of the leaders, until we were interrupted by the little girl that my daughter was talking to. She was beaming and said, “God loves me and I just asked Him to be my Savior!”
Later I talked to my daughter about the events as I saw them. She said, “Mom, it was like that every day. The public schooled kids care too much about what their friends think of them. They don’t reach out.”
In that moment every doubt about homeschooling I ever had flew away. Years of hearing from a Christian neighbor how my daughter should be in the public school to be a witness…I won’t even get into what her 14 year old “Christian” daughter is like. If we, and our children are prepared to be a witness, God will give us and them opportunities, but we can have all the opportunities in the world and not move on them if our hearts are not ready.
At first when my daughter was in elementary school it was harder to tell the difference between the homeschoolers, and public schooled kids, but now as the fruit is maturing (going into highschool) it is evident. In our experience, homeschoolers are less peer dependant, community focused, and interact well people of every age. Yes, I do know there are exceptions! A sick peach tree can still give a few healthy looking peaches, and a healthy peach tree can give a few sickly peaches, but what kind of tree do you want your kids growing on?
One last note: Often people are remarking how accomplished my daugher is musically. This is no accident. She has the time to work hard on both the harp and the piano. This past year she was actually invited by a public school in the area to come play the harp for a large event in which many teachers, children and parents attended! Talk about God creating opportunities for a ready heart!
As a new reader, I am curious what you did last year, and if you are going to do the same this year?
I will be homeschooling my kindergartener this fall. But my reasons are a bit different than most. I have a BS in Elementary Ed. I have 7 years of classroom experience, as well as 8 years of corporate business experience.
I taught HS English at our local Christian school, and I am so glad I did. I learned that I don’t want my kids attending there; especially as teens. I observed that it is a breeding ground for rebellion.
I also don’t want to send my children to public school. I have all the concerns of worldly influences and curriculum that is not God-centered. Our schools are not that great, and as they get older, they have to ride the bus farther and farther.
My thoughts are that no one knows my child better than I do. No one cares more about what my child learns than I do. No one cares more about the end product than I do. And no one else is more excited to be there for all the sweet learning moments with my children during the day than I am. And I want to be sure my son loves to learn. That will benefit him more in the long run than social interactions.
The curriculum I chose for this year cost less than $200. I will supplement the curriculum with classic literature of my choosing from the public library.
Other pros: Besides saving $2000 by not choosing the Christian school, I don’t have to buy special school clothes for my little guy. We will be involved in the homeschool group. My son will never have a problem being anti-social. He loves to visit with all the elderly people in our neighborhood, and often invites them unabashadly to our church. We will be able to plan many relevant field trips, and his little sister will not miss him all day long.
Those are just my thoughts. I don’t have a problem with people choosing other options, since no two situations are the same.
KT,
You hit it right on the nail! =) Thank you for your God centered response!
Lets all be careful to not make our emotions/feelings concerning our childrens experiences or our own experiences a rule and or truth for all. Bring everything before the Lord in prayer and his perfect will for you will be shown. His will and ways are better then mans way or good intentions or mans traditions or what everyone else is doing or what even we’d like to do. God’s will above all others including our own needs to be followed in such descissions as these where there is no commandment to homeschool and where God is silent about.
God bless!
….and wow excellent points and oh so, so true! I have 4 blessings and your cooments are so helpful. i hope someone can start a blog of somekind that puts aside their experiences, their opions aside and just speaks the truth about such matters for God.
God bless!
Hi Tony,
I really appreciate your site. It’s seems like you continually manage to get a discussion going on very important issues that I don’t see discussed very often elsewhere.
Many good points have been made in favor of homeschooling. I don’t need to repeat them. However one thing I’m concerned about is the idea that this is a year by year decision. As a former home schooler myself, I’ve seen over and over that if kids are not home schooled from the beginning it’s a lot more difficult, sometimes impossible, for them to adjust if their parents decide to home school later on. Homeschooling is not for everyone but for a lot of people the reason it doesn’t work is because their kids have already been too influenced by regular school and or don’t have a proper respect for their parents. I would suggest that you start with home school and if you are convicted you need to change later on then change later.
Also please bear in mind that you could have the best, most Christian, public school teacher in the world but he/she will still be unable to counteract the decided secularist point of view coming from the curriculum and administration/teacher’s union. Public school is actively being used to change the world view of our country, even in good rural schools. For that reason I believe that for a christian the only two options should be church school or home school.
Steve,
Thanks for the encouragement and the perspective on this issue.