Funny Job Requirements for Children’s Ministry

Funny Jokes about Children's Ministry There was a funny thread on the forums at CM Connect and I thought I would share some of it here. For the whole scoop, check out this comment thread on their site. Basically, they wanted to come up with some funny “job requirements” for children’s ministry. Here are a few of my favorites, feel free to come up with your own:

  • Sense of humour is not mandatory, but you won’t survive without it
  • Should be quick to recover when you forget a kids name: a staple of generic names such as ‘Buckaroo’ or ‘Fella’ is a must
  • Even though you would watch them anyways, Cartoons are now considered research.
  • Having the ability to always tell a joke or fill in time is a major plus
  • No sense of embarrassment is a plus – especially when doing action songs
  • Must have the immune system of a robot
  • Must be able to use random junk as props
  • Must be able to rig contests so the girls don’t always win
  • Willingness to pray for all sick pets by name
  • Must be able to “Hold it” for entire service rotation
  • Ability to distinguish where “That smell is coming from”
  • Must be able to come up with 10 games from 1 piece of toilet paper.
  • Must remember that ‘knucks’ are 75% more healthy than high fives.
  • Able to turn all your mistakes into a funny story
  • Able to tolerate bright yellow & orange walls in your office
  • Breath mints … really, kids will call you out for dog breath

Do You Have A Funny Job Requirement?

Leave a comment below if you know of more funny qualification for children’s ministry. Also, check out the thread on CM Connect.


Comments

  1. says

    I so loved this list of “job requirements.” Here’s some of mine:
    1.When (not if) a child asks you if their pet is going to be in heaven, be able to handle the question with love and encouragement without telling them a lie.
    2.Must choose be able to choose words carefully. Don’t say “God loves you more than your parents,” But, “God loves you more than your parents can love you.”
    3.Must know your bible and stick to the truth! When asked a million questions and have constant interruptions, don’t give a wrong answer just to keep going with your story.
    4.Must not think you did a bad job because you never made it to main teaching. God knows. He’s in control.
    5.Must PRAY before the kids start charging in the room. Even if you have to do it in the ladies/mens room!

  2. sola says

    Hi Tony,
    this sure cracked me up! Just to let you that I have downloaded and printed a lot of colouring pages from the site for toddlers in my church and it has realy served us well as we keep the little ones busy from all the chatter, ‘numerous bathroom trips within an hour’ and helped me focus on teaching the older kids Bible lessons.
    May the Lord continue to bless the work of your hands and may He encompass you with favourds as with a shield.
    You are blessed.

    Sola Antwi

  3. Darlene says

    I don’t remember the last time I laughed this hard! Thank you..and here are a couple of my own to share:

    Able to read upside down…It’s more difficult than you think! (Ms. Darlene! Kelsey’s head is in my way”!)
    Have eyes in the back of your head…(to keep “Tommy” from biting “Billy”!)
    Able to leap tall toys in a single bound! (to keep “Billy from biting “Tommy”!)
    Oh yeah, I work with toddlers!
    Blessings!
    Darlene

  4. Dorothea says

    I especially love the no sense of embarassment — I’ve had kids ask me if I knew Moses personally during children’s time. But you shouldn’t have revealed the secret that we really watch kids shows because we want to — but claim we’re doing it to keep up with what’s current!

  5. Vickie says

    I was looking for another article on your site early this morning and ran across this. I have laughed so hard, no one needed a wake up call in this house! Thank you for all of the work you do.

  6. says

    Every now and then I stop and think, “Do I really talk to little kids for a living?” Then some one of my special little girls will should out something like “Am I BALD?” and then all reflection stops and I move on with the lesson plan!

Trackbacks

    Your voice matters -- Share your ideas with other readers.