7 Funny Church Jokes: Christian Humor That’s Safe For Church

Girl upside down smiling

You’ll love these clean church jokes I found in my email. I’m sure they’ve been floating around the Internet for a while, but several were new to me. I’m not always a fan of Christian jokes or church humor, but these made me smile.  I’m posting them just in case you need a little laugh this morning.


Why do Brides Wear White?

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’

The child thought about this for a moment then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”


Running To Church

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, ‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!’

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!

As she ran she once again began to pray, ‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…But please don’t shove me either!’


My Dad Makes Big Money

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.’

The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper,
he calls it a song, they give him $100.’

The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!’


The Holy Family

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied, ‘They couldn’t get a baby-sitter. ‘


Applying the 10 Commandments

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill..’


Adam’s Ribs

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, ‘Johnny, what is the matter?’

Little Johnny responded, ‘I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.’

Need Some More Laughs? Then browse these funny job requirements for children’s ministry.


Comments

  1. Lena says

    These were funny; I read them on my church program & got laughs.

  2. says

    A pastor and two deacons went hunting. As they pulled into the field a giant buck deer appeared 100 yrds away. All three proceeded to arm themselves. Almost simultaneously, all three aimed at the trophy buck and fired. The deer dropped. All three men, simultaneously, proclaimed that each had hit their mark. So, they decided to call the game warden to determine who killed the deer. A call was made. A few anxious moments passed. The warden arrived and was given the story. The warden looked at the deer and proclaimed, “The pastor shot this deer… no doubt about it!” One deacon asked, “how can you tell the pastor shot it?” The warden explained, “See, the bullet went in one ear and out the other!”

  3. ayuk helen says

    thanks for that joke , it just made my day , God bless u all

  4. Connie says

    I have a friend who was teaching little ones the verse of praying without ceasing–one little girl said pray without cursing.

  5. Judy says

    While leading a kindergarten AwANA class last year our class was working on memorizing 1 Corinth 15:4″that he was buried, that he was raised, on the third day according to the scriptures”. I was prompting the students and said “that he was raised”. When I paused one of my boys proudly says “in the Ozarks!”. I love kids!

  6. Joss says

    My grandson at the age of 5 was having a conversation with me and telling me who was the boss in different parts of the house. Like mommy was the boss of bedroom, daddy the boss of the livingroom and I was the boss of the kitchen. I asked him what about God. He replied that God is the boss outside because He is too big!

  7. Tiffany says

    I love this one. Brings back memories of my great-grandmother (who lived to be 103).

Your voice matters -- Share your ideas with other readers.