7 Funny Church Jokes: Christian Humor That’s Safe For Church

Girl upside down smiling

You’ll love these clean church jokes I found in my email. I’m sure they’ve been floating around the Internet for a while, but several were new to me. I’m not always a fan of Christian jokes or church humor, but these made me smile.  I’m posting them just in case you need a little laugh this morning.


Why do Brides Wear White?

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’

The child thought about this for a moment then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”


Running To Church

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, ‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!’

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!

As she ran she once again began to pray, ‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…But please don’t shove me either!’


My Dad Makes Big Money

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.’

The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper,
he calls it a song, they give him $100.’

The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!’


The Holy Family

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied, ‘They couldn’t get a baby-sitter. ‘


Applying the 10 Commandments

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill..’


Adam’s Ribs

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, ‘Johnny, what is the matter?’

Little Johnny responded, ‘I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.’

Need Some More Laughs? Then browse these funny job requirements for children’s ministry.


Comments

  1. Connie says

    I have a friend who was teaching little ones the verse of praying without ceasing–one little girl said pray without cursing.

  2. Judy says

    While leading a kindergarten AwANA class last year our class was working on memorizing 1 Corinth 15:4″that he was buried, that he was raised, on the third day according to the scriptures”. I was prompting the students and said “that he was raised”. When I paused one of my boys proudly says “in the Ozarks!”. I love kids!

  3. Joss says

    My grandson at the age of 5 was having a conversation with me and telling me who was the boss in different parts of the house. Like mommy was the boss of bedroom, daddy the boss of the livingroom and I was the boss of the kitchen. I asked him what about God. He replied that God is the boss outside because He is too big!

  4. Amelia says

    One day after church we had a Birthday Party for an elderly lady that had turn 102 year old. When my nephew who was about 8 years old at that time said, “She sure obeyed her parents when she little.”
    His mom asked him “Why do say that.”
    He replied, “Because one of the commandments is Honor your Mother and Father and you will have a long life. And she is 102 years old.”

    • Tiffany says

      I love this one. Brings back memories of my great-grandmother (who lived to be 103).

  5. Lesley says

    A similar story to Shelley’s; We all had our heads bowed in pray during the main prayer time at Church when my 4 year old said at the top of his voice ” Mummy, wake up !” I unfortunatly couldn’t answer too loudly as we were still praying so said “shhh” to which he replied ” No, wake up Mummy! you can’t sleep here!”

  6. Natalia says

    Just last Sabbath I was in the church’s hallway outside of the children’s wing, saying hello to kids and teachers when my nephew, 5yo, was standing at the check-in table trying to decide which sticker to choose. He said hello and I was so happy & proud that he took time to talk to me, so I said, with a big smile: “Hi Dennis! How are you?” He looked at me and said: “Ok, just stuck in traffic.” I wanted to kiss him! :)

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