Pastor’s kids are prone to rebel against the church. The problem is so common it’s become a stereotype. The same dangers affect MKs (missionary kids) and SKs (staff kids) and DKs (deacon’s kids). Every ministry volunteer should take this seriously. After all —
What does it profit if gain all the kids for Jesus, but lose our own children.
Ed Stetzer wrote a helpful blog post about this very issue. He lists 5 reasons why pastor’s kids are prone to hate the ministry and how to avoid that outcome.
But it’s not just PKs – all kinds of kids can “sour” on the church
Here’s how I would rewrite Dr. Stetzer’s advice to help all church parents.
- Invest in your family, don’t let church activities substitute for family activities
- Don’t pressure your children to be good because they are “church kids”
- Protect them from church conflicts and never complain at home about your church
- Don’t act godlier at church than around the house
- Admit your own sins/shortcomings – you’re not a saint and the kids know it
He goes into greater discussion for each idea and it’s worth your time to read the list and talk it over with your own children.
I’m very aware of this danger for my own children and frankly don’t have the answers yet. I feel like humility and love are the key themes to remember when helping over-churched kids. But my family is a long way from perfect! I’d love to hear your comments and experience with this problem. Please leave a comment below to join the conversation.
Some More Articles
I’ve been collecting links about this topic and here are a few you should read & pass along to other parents in your church.
- What I said about over-churched kids (our blog)
- Should parents force their kids to attend church? (our blog)
- 7 Things We Learned from Pastors Kids by Thom Rainer
- 7 Things Pastors Would Like Church Members to Know about Their Children by Thom Rainer
- How to Miss a Childhood by Hands Free Momma
- 20 Signs You Grew Up a Church Kid from Chasing Supermom
- Raising Kids Who Care about Missions from The Gospel Project
- 1 Simple Way to Get Kids to Love Bible Study from the Resurgence
- Shaping a Child’s Soul is Too Important for Parents to Leave to Others by Timothy Paul Jones
- 9 Reasons Your Family Thinks Church is More Important than Them by Joe McAlpine
- 3 Lies We Tell Our Kids by Jeffrey Reed
- What to do when your kids don’t want to come to church by Jeff McClung