Should We Compare Our Children?

Print Friendly and PDF


Recently I became a mom of two.  My oldest son just turned seven and my newborn is now eight weeks old.  They are both joys in my life, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I was chosen by God to be their mother.
It has definitely been challenging adding a new baby to the mix.  My son was an only child for nearly 7 years so I was used to giving him all the attention.  He has been great with the addition, however, I find myself comparing them already.
I am constantly saying things like, “Corban doesn’t sleep as well as Briggs did when he was a baby,” or “Briggs didn’t nurse as well as Corban is,” or “Briggs loved taking baths and Corban doesn’t.”  While there’s nothing wrong with making these observations about the differences in my children, I must be careful.  I need to make sure that my seven year old doesn’t feel like he is “not as good” as the new baby.  I need to make sure that these comparisons aren’t reflections of how I want things to be.  For instance, I need to make sure that I am not wishing or hoping that Corban will do things just like his big brother or that I regret that Briggs did things the way he did.
I am reminded that God created each of us.  He “formed [our] inward parts” and “knitted [us] together in [our] mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13).  He tells Jeremiah that he knew him before he formed him, which goes for us as well.  Genesis 1:27 says that God created us in his image.  God did the forming, the creating of both of my sons (and any future children I may have).  He gave them their distinctive personalities and looks.  He made them just the way they are!
I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t compare my boys to the degree that I fail to remember that God is perfect and he created them to be just the way they are for his glory.  God makes no mistakes, and he has given me these sweet boys to raise for his purposes.  Their personalities are given to them so that they might fulfill God’s purposes for their lives.  Who am I to compare the way they do things and wonder why they are the way they are!
It’s not wrong to compare the differences in our children.  It may even be a good thing as we think about how God creates each of us to be just who he needs us to be.  While there are similarities in my boys already, I see many differences, and I’m thankful that God made them different so that each one can live out His sovereign calling on their lives!

Leave a Comment

convertkit-boost