I will preface this post by saying that this is not a post with a whole lot of answers (to be properly read….none). Instead, this post focuses on a series of questions that have been bouncing around my head recently when it comes to teaching kids about God.
I recently came across the following quote from Richard Baxter, and I was really struck by the truth of the statement:
I do verily believe that if parents did their duty as they ought, the Word publicly preached would not be the ordinary means of regeneration in the church, but only without the church, among practical heathens and infidels.
With all the buzz surrounding family ministry and the goal of children’s ministry being the leveraging all the time parents have with their kids to support what they are learning at church, this quote got me thinking about the proper role of Christian parents in the life of their kids and what that means for children’s ministry today. The Bible is clear that the primary responsibility for teaching and passing along spiritual truths from generation to generation falls to the family, Deuteronomy 6 (which is often cited by those in the “family ministry movement”) says:
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [Deuteronomy 6:6-9]
It is clear from this verse, and others, that the parents bear the primary responsibility for raising their kids in the instruction and admonition of the Lord. So, I think the question is not, “how do we leverage the time parents have with their kids?” Instead, I think the real question we should be asking as a church is, “Why are we not calling parents to fulfill this responsibility to their kids, and what does that say about the type of Christians our church is producing?” Is it the place of a Children’s Ministry to try to teach parents how to raise their kids in the things of God, or is that a role that the whole church should be undertaking? Why has this role seemingly been abdicated to children’s pastors in most churches? Is it because “they’re the ones who are supposed to deal with the kids?” Have we, as a church, overlooked the responsibility to call parents to account for how they are raising their kids? Why is it that we emphasize spiritual disciplines like prayer, time in the word, giving and evangelism and ignore the means of transmission of those disciplines (families) mandated by God? In short, have we as a church abdicated our responsibility towards children by throwing them in a room by themselves and giving them their own programs rather than teaching parents how to be the spiritual leaders in their homes?
On the other side of the coin, if the primary responsibility for the spiritual guidance lies with parents, what then is the proper role of children’s ministry? It seems to me that there are three general buckets that the kids we minster to will fall in to:
- Christian kids with Christian parents who are trying to follow the Biblical mandate to lead and disciple their kids,
- Christian kids with non-Christian parents and/or Christian parents who have abdicated that responsibility; and
- What Richard Baxter would call “heathen and infidels” (i.e., non-Christian kids).
How do we reconcile, both theoretically and practically, the needs of each these groups and the Biblical responsibilities we have towards each. What is the churches role with the first group (Christian kids and Christian parents who are leading biblically)? What and how should we teach and disciple those kids in our children’s ministry? What about those kids in the second group whose parents are not leading as they should? What role does children’s ministry play in those kids’ lives? Finally, the Bible clearly tells us to go preach the good news of Jesus Christ to everyone. That would certainly include those kids who have not accepted him as Lord and Savior. How do we meet the needs of this group while still discipling kids in the first two groups?
As workers’ in children’s ministry we have been called to an position with awesome responsibility and awesome reward. Our guide in fulfilling that calling must be the Bible and God’s plan for children. It is easy to “jump right in” and not pause to reflect on what God’s plan really is and what we need to do to be obedient to that plan.
This article does not, as you might have noticed, offer the answers. Personally, I am in the process of doing a systematic study of everything the Bible has to say about kids, and I intend to write on that as soon as that study is done. I do hope that this post will spark some though and some discussion.
What do you think? What is your church doing to meet the needs of these kids?
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Thanks for that post, I love it because it proofs to me that there are people who carries the same vision as I do. Presently we are working on pulling together the Clergy Children in the Anglican Communion and God has helped to stage five consecutive National Conference which were massively attended by Clergy Children accross our nation.
I like you didn’t give any answers! I think I’m tired of 3 step solutions! I oversee the Children’s Ministry and the problem we have are parents who do not take an active role in their faith or childs faith. However, if a family has become members of a church and have signed a membership covenant that can be brought to their attention that they are to be active in their faith and the church. In the childrens ministry all we can do is teach the Word of God consistently and pray that seeds are planted from a young age.
Wayne thanks for sharing this. You bring up some really good points. As I work to grow our children’s ministry how to connect with and influence the family to be the true spiritual leaders of the children in our children’s ministry is something that I think about a lot. Two things struck me from this article. First is that perhaps I should be urging parents to take a more active role in the spiritual growth of their children. I currently try to give the parents tools that they can use to re-enforce what I am teaching in Kid’s Church, but there is more that I could be doing to actually push parents to take that leadership role. The other thing is the list of 3 types of children that we minister to. I think that this is something that should be considered on a regular basis as we write lesson plans, as we select videos, as we teach, as we outreach, and as we plan events. I think we need to ensure that we are ministering to each of these groups as best we can. It can be easy to aim for the lost, ignoring the growth of those that already know Christ, or to ignore the lost and only focus on growing those that already know Christ. It can also be easy to ignore the effect that the parents can have on the lessons we teach and on the other aspects of our children’s ministry. Wayne, thanks again for sharing. You have given me much to think about.
Matt N.